“‘How to not lose friends when you suffer from abandonment based anxiety’ 

“‘How to not lose friends when you suffer from abandonment based anxiety’ –

I have been feeling as if this is a truly important one to talk about, especially as it relates to the imbalanced empath, and is something that I struggled with for a long time, especially in relationships. Many of my earlier relationships ended pretty badly, me being heart broken, (I mean absolutely broken), and wondering if I was ever born to be loved..now I was caught in this recurring loop of attracting lovers, having passionate and highly emotive connections, and then a few or several months down the line, being abandoned by these same people who I once shared an intense energy with. It was truly a pattern, the partners changed, but the pattern did not, and it was not until I became conscious that I found what was truly going wrong. In doubting that I was lovable and worthy of staying with, I unconsciously drew experiences that mirrored my lack of belief in myself. My anxieties were tied into the fact that deep down, I held the belief that I would always be abandoned, because I wasn’t worthy or good enough for anybody to want to stick around. I would panic over the slightest inclination that I was about to be abandoned, or that I wasn’t truly loved, and this in turn would behave as a self fulfilling prophecy and ensure that yes, I would be abandoned. So without further ado.. Step 1. Try to listen carefully and consistently to everything that is said by others. Do not listen with the ears that say you already know what they mean or what they are trying to say. Yes you may be highly empathic and intuitive, but your thoughts of fear are very likely to override any inner knowing that you hold. 2. Take the time to breathe, count to ten in your head, and write down anything that you are unsure of, if you are having a conversation and feel that you have picked up on a worrisome cue. A lot of the time things are lost in translation over technology, so it is important to note that we know what the person we are talking to is really trying to bring across. 3. If you feel that somebody has an insulting or threatening tone in their conversation, (including the threat of abandonment), try consulting somebody you trust about what they have said. Seek the opinion of somebody who does not have such high anxieties over the situation and can give you greater insight. 4. Understand that your anxious energy may come across too over powering and even controlling to some who do not understand why you require such constant reassurance. Whilst you may be dripped in worry, try to remember that other people you are dealing with have feelings also, and try to be conscious of the way that you approach them. 5. Deal with the issues internally that suggest to you that others will abandon you, and that there is something within you unworthy of them staying. Understand that you are worthy, lovable, capable, and appreciated. Why wouldn’t anybody want to keep you around?”Cindy Anneh-bu (via spiritualpoet) #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #ptsd #spiritual #empath #writer

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