Twin flame diary.

Today, is another one of those days that I wonder, why would the divine place such an amazing, unimaginable duo together, only to have them split apart at a later date. I wonder, what could all of this possibly mean? Why would my love forsake me, after he too experienced the same love parralell to none. I was with him, there. I saw, the love that resided in his eyes every time that we caught one another in a glance. I was there,  and I felt, every beat of the heart as it melted into mine. I felt the melodic tones, and vibrations in his voice, as it softened, and lowered, just for me. I was there, when the look of love, and loss, and concern, spread all over his face. And now I am here, pondering all of the things that were stolen from me, in such amazing grace.

I have dedicated my life to spirituality. It is all that I do, think and see, and I am so very thankful, do not get me wrong. Because without it? I would have given up a long time ago. I would probably not be here now, as the thought of taking my own life is something that I have toyed with, repeatedly. 

But then, spirituality gave me a way out, or rather, a way in. A way in to see and explore myself in new ways, that I had never looked at myself before. And it beckoned me to take a closer look into the inner workings of the world, and into the minds of others, also bringing me great release from my pain.

So now I find myself wondering how, and why, the same thing that I turned to for salvation, is the very same thing that has brought me so much pain – the loss of my twin. 

I know that loss brings gain, and I hear my heart tell myself all of the time, that this is the root to healing, and that these are only growing pains, but my, how they do pain.

How could I meet my perfect description of love? Everything that I have ever wanted, honoured, only to have him stripped ever so cruelly, and quickly from me, in the same ways that all of the others have fallen before. 

I ask for guidance, and the inner strength that lays within me to reign supreme, and maybe I ask for the ability to let go. Because I have stretched my little heart into feeling, and it has felt just about everything that it can endure, over these past faithful years, and more so in these few months.

I have spent this entire year confronting and facing my demons. Searching tirelessly for new ways to love me, to see me in newness, and to heal me, yet it seems, still a seed of sadness remains planted within me. 

And I know that I said that I would be strong for you, but my heart is calling, calling for you. And for the life of me, I do not know why you do not answer. 

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spiritualpoet

From a very early age, it was clear to see that my path was one paved with difference. Inspiration, intuition, and imagination gripped me long before I could find my feet. I walk the life path of 7, so I am irreversibly bound to the realm of mysticism, spiritualism, and esotericism. I do not belong to this world, for I am a 'tween', always in between worlds. I am the commander of serpents, belonging to the glorious, and forbidden 13th zodiac of ophiuchus. Hidden in secrecy, to one day return as the divine feminine awakens. Love, is my speciality, and has governed my existence. I now use a combination of intuition, natural healing ability, astrology, psychology, sociology, and numerology to bring clarity, healing, and understanding to all. With the energy of ophiuchus running through me, I could never turn away from the path of healing, nor teaching. Not only does ophiuchus represent healing, but also the crevices of the dark shadows that we must crawl through to find our path to healing, in other words, the shamanic process of death, and re-birth, which has pretty much been the summation of my existence thus far. Long gone are my days of depression, I have re-claimed my divinity, and I desire nothing more than to help you to also claim yours. Not only the seeker, I am also the lover. Part of the many trials that I have endured upon this empathic journey, are that of heart break, and abandonment consciousness. For this reason, I have become an advocate for healthy loving relationships, and the harmony between the two sexes. This has taken me on a deep quest, to uncover ancient old secrets, and deeply entrenched beliefs, about man, about woman, and what this reads about where we are to. My eternal life drive and motto revolves around this simple theory, 'Where there is an outcome, there has existed a cause'. My particular areas of interest and expertise lie with sociology, psychology, spiritualism, philosophy, and literary, and creative writing. As I have a deeply intense desire to both serve, and aid humanity, I have naturally been drawn toward topics that have provided me with a more in depth account of societal behaviour, and as it stands, human kind. My roots are as deeply rooted as they can be, stemming from Ghanaian parents, who were raised, and both skilled in the art, and knowledge of superstition, and divination wisdom, it is no surprise that the blood flowing through my veins compels me to do such work, so relentlessly. Unlike other bloggers, this work featured here is not a mere hobby, it is more than just my livelihood, it is the calling of which i cannot ignore. Another prominent focus of mine, is mental illness. Not comfortable, nor fully sold with the western idealisms of the implications of such, i seek research, personal experience, and observation to prove, that many mental illnesses hold spiritual connotation, particularly as the mind is an avid translator of spiritual energies. Follow me on this journey as i discover myself, retrace my roots, fall deeply in love with my heritage, and finally accept my awkward, unorthodox societal position. To book one of my services, and allow me to guide you back to the soul, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk I offer dream interpretation, tarot reading, therapy, numerology readings, and see through the eyes of the lover.. To contact me across all of my platforms, follow me on instagram to keep up with my latest quotes, and mystically inclined photography @spiritualpoetess_ To keep up with my snappy, sassy, and spiritually laced motivational tweets, find me on twitter @spiritualpoet_ Facebook like page https://www.facebook.com/Twinflameandshamanchronicles

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