I am mine in my entirety.
I am completely mine, and such a beautiful thing to be. I do not need to please anybody. I do not need to keep anybody happy. I do not have to impress anybody. I can just be me, as I am, doing what I do, without feeling the compulsion to provide for anybody. And this is not selfishness, this is power.
I want to be free. Completely alone with myself. Only then will I fully come to understand everything it is that I am, and what that means for me. I spent a lot of my life being in the arms of others, lovers, best friends, even at one point family. And since then, I have stripped myself of all of these things in a way.
I no longer have a best friend. I once held the word with such novelty, but now, I do not find it so valuable. I am my best friend. I am the one who has always been there for me, known all of my wounds, and have fought to love me, even against all of the odds. I think that it is rather sometimes very difficult for people like me, and people like us, to trust people. And this is not only because we have been bruised by people so much, but also because we carry extra sensory perception. We notice subtle influences, and signals in others that can alert us of their insincerity, and inauthenticity in a second!
Now, we, empaths, healers, light workers, lone wolves, whatever you would like to call us, absolutely can not stand falsity! We are all about digging beyond multiple layers, within ourselves, and others, and finding truth. We are the eternal seekers. And let’s be honest, most of society, could not give a flying duck about the intricacies of the universe, or the human condition.
So it may sound pretty lonely right? Well, at once yes, but now.. No. I am so strengthened! I don’t want to rely on anybody, neither do I want anybody to rely on me. My focus lies with My path, my mission, and my purpose. I have no time any longer to devise to dysfunctional family members, part time lovers, or fair weather friends. One day, I will find my soul group, hey my soul clan may only be one person, but I feel as if I am closer than ever, but I am not looking for them, I am not waiting for them, I know that they will come.
Until they do, I just want to be alone with myself, which I haven’t been for such a while. People say that you need things, friends, communities, for birthdays, and celebrations, but I struggle with this. I have put my faith in ‘people’ before, for birthdays, and have found myself gravely disappointed.
I do not want to rely outside of myself for happiness, or for satisfaction, because then it is never guaranteed. We humans are naturally social creatures, but now I see so much more value in my being, And my self than I ever, ever have. I am pretty fantastic, to be fair, (if I do say so myself), and I understand how not everybody is worthy of my time, my immense care, or my talents, and attributes.
Blessed be ~