Twin Flame, Karmic Attachment, and co-dependency? How not to get taken advantage of in love. 

  
Twin flames, and karmic attachments are both soul mirrors to us, in a sense. Both unions provide the opportunity for us to see any emotional/energetic blockages that have been stored within us, as well as useful, and not so useful patterns that we have developed from our parents, cultures, and societies.

Now of course twin flames are the ultimate mirror, and ultimate emphasiser of what goes on underneath, and what parts of us are destructive, and what need healing, but karmic attachments also attempt to point us in these directions toward wholeness, by typically mirroring back to us the worst kind of relationship that we could EVER imagine!

If you are caught in a karmic attachment, then you are fully aware that something does NOT feel right, and it never has. You frequently find yourself feel anxious, depressed, unworthy, and almost as if you have to constantly, and consistently earn your partners affections. When I myself was caught in a karmic attachment, I became even more mentally unwell than I already was. Days were spent crying over my loves lack of affection, and BLATENT lack of interest, and then I would switch in between messaging him excessively, and trying to pour my heart out to him, in order to gain some sort of sub par response – which I barely ever did.  

  
The point I want to make here is, none of this ever stopped me. None of the tears over being unappreciated, or his re-affirmation to me continuously that he did not want a relationship, and did not want to be committed to me, ever stopped me from running after him, continually expressing my love for him, and giving myself to him fully.

I did not care that he was not in love with me. As long as he gave me something that remotely resembled love. I did not care that he did not want a relationship. (As long as he occasionally fathomed interest, even if it was only of the sexual kind). I did not care that he would go hours, upon hours before responding to any of my messages, (though my intuition always told me that he had seen them before hand), as long as he eventually did reply. 

And sure enough, there I would be, phone in hand, waiting anxiously for his arrival, for a notification that he had actually remembered and acknowledged my existence. That was enough to satisfy my heart into thinking that I was relevant. 

This was possibly one of the worst forms of abuse that I had ever endured. And what made it so terrible? Was that it was self inflicted. I did not have to keep chasing after him. I did not have to keep allowing myself to be treated this way. At any time that I wanted to, I could have cut contact, told him that I wanted nothing more to do with him, and that I deserved better. But the key point here, is that I did not. 

Somewhere buried deep within me, perhaps not as deep as I thought, existed the belief that I was deserving of this kind of treatment. That I was deserving of minimal displays of love, and that I was worthy of being ignored, repeatedly. I know now that this is because I was not fully showing up as myself. So how could I ever expect that somebody else would show up for me? How could I expect to have somebody who was fully open, and available to me, when I was not even fully open and available to myself? I was avoiding myself, desperately. I was so in need of me, so in need of ‘fixing’, and I tried to avoid this responsibility, by passing it on to somebody else to follow. Somebody who, through no disrespect, was never the man for the job. 

  
So, why did I put up with so much of this unnecessary pain when it was as simple as getting up and leaving? Announcing that I deserved more, and then proceeding to go and actually find more? 

And the simplest answer? I absolutely loathed myself. Yes, I did. The way that I was treating myself, reflected the way that he had been treating me, and the way that I had once been treated in childhood, so this feeling was familiar, so I did not see too much need to fight it, nor rock the boat.

This was a man who was emotionally Unavailable, shut down, and unable to utter any words, or actions that mimicked commitment, or intimacy. Yet here I was, a hopeless romantic, with an expansive heart chakra, holding onto him with everything that I had, and refusing to go anywhere! Honestly, I was borderline obsessive, and I thought that this was love. I thought that the momentary high that I received when he showed me the slightest bit of recognition was worth all of the lows. I thought that it was happiness. And all because I was holding onto all of these patterns, inherited from generations before me, and all of these beliefs attached to low self esteem, and the attraction of pain.

  
Remember that thing that I said about mirrors? About how these types of unions show us the parts of ourselves that desire recognition? Well yes, I did not love myself, or appreciate myself, neither did I want to commit to myself, so I attracted this soul who manifested these very same issues. 

Now, this is the objective of karmic attachments. I like to view them as sort of, a curse, let me explain this. This does not mean to say that these types of unions are inherently bad, or evil, because if you view them in this way, then you will never heal or move on from them. 

A curse is something unpleasant that can remain trapped within somebody, or within a particular line of people, occurring over, and over again, in a loop, until it is broken. This is exactly what a karmic attachment is. The particular attachment that I am describing lasted just over 3 years, but trust me, I know people who have been stuck in these types of unions for 7+ years, they are THAT addictive, especially when you just cannot pry your eyes, and your mind to see beyond what is directly infront of you.

If only we could all look a little bit deeper into ourselves, if only, we would find the world existing only as we are, and then we would realise how to overcome our negative experiences, and use them for outward healing purposes.

What is co-dependency and anxious attachment style?

Co dependency and anxious attachment style in psychology, are the exact reasons that so many empaths, healers, or light workers, tend to experience so many karmic attachments throughout their lives, and many eventually, also the twin flame union. 

These are terms that describe the behaviours of somebody who is so fixated on attaining love, and feeling wanted, and needed, that they continuously neglect themselves. The behaviours that we associate with these terms are needy, clingy, obsessive, and draining. Though they may not mean to behave in these ways, these souls are so bruised, they are always searching for cues that their beloved will leave them, and will resort to extreme, and manipulative tactics to stop this from happening. 

Doesn’t sound much like a healer?

Do not forget all about the birth of a healer. Before a healer steps into their rightful position as a healer, they are practically injected with all of these pains, all of these emotional, energetic, and generational downloads, that they must transmute, and release. This is not an easy task, particularly for the healer who does not know that they are a healer, and is just trying to live a ‘normal’, and neat life. 

The abuse of self will continue in these unions, until the empath learns that this is not love, this is dysfunction, and the only way out, is in, within ones self. 

Twin flames, and the terrible tales.

Because of all of the false information depicted about twin flames on the internet, many people have adopted the belief that twin flame unions are these happy, hippy dippy perfect relationships, where everything runs smoothly, and perfectly. This is so far from the truth. Those of us who are actually apart of, or have experienced a twin flame Union, will know how difficult, confusing, and painful that this Union can be. 

This is the ULTIMATE mirror relationship, and every single drop of your emotional, mental, and spiritual baggage, will be dragged to the surface, and you will BOTH have to deal with them. 

For this reason, it is a misconception that the twin flame Union can be void of ill treatment. Yes, your twin flame can still be disrespectful, unappreciative, and inconsiderate towards you. Remember, that they are also now dealing with many life times of baggage, and unwanted realisations. This can make a person incredibly selfish, confused, and depressed. (However, there is always a line, and you should be able to decipher when, and whether somebody is being outwardly abusive. Abusive relationships are NOT to be confused with this dynamic).

And this does not mean that you have to take it, nor that you have to accept it, under the guise of ‘divine love’, divine love feels divine. And does not feel like neglect.

This is the main reason why I say that this Union is all about you, designed to heal you, and bring you back to you. This is to break the chain of co-dependent, and self defeating relationships that you have endured, not exhasperate them. Your twin flame arrived as a lesson to you, not to just see you doing all of the same things, that you have always done. Remember that concept of the curse that I was telling you about?

Work on yourself. Break this chain. Allow your twin/karmic attachment to work on themselves. You can still hold unconditional love for them in your heart, whilst believing in, and exercising your right for self love and self respect. 

Many healers, and intuitives dare not say this, but what the hell, I am a little ris-que, don’t you dare be afraid to date soul mates during the ‘separation stage’. Don’t you dare be afraid to live, to feel, to explore love… But don’t you dare forget to heal either! 

This was your great awakening, do not let it be your great death.

Blessed be, Cindy ~ 

© 2016 Seek Cindy.

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.
Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk

To contact me for any readings, including twin flame readings, email me via the email placed at the top. I use numerology, and intuition to determine if you truly are dealing with a twin flame connection. A mini calculation of both you, and your partner’s life path calculations, any themes and issues that this may present to your Union, and why – including a 1-10 question tarot reading.

  

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