It is easy to lose your head quickly, or become lost in a stream of negative thoughts when you are constantly searching for cues that your partner will abandon you.
After all, your perception of the world is fuelled by the belief that you will one day, or will always be, abandoned, either for somebody who is more preferred, or just abandoned solely because you are you, and you are abandon-able (yes I just made up my own word). However, there is this little thing called a self fulfilling prophecy. When we lend our energy to the belief, and the occurrence of something, we actually draw it into our reality, and make it a possibility, even if it wasn’t one prior to this.
Example? If you are stuck with the belief that you are unworthy of love, and therefore more susceptible to becoming abandoned, there are certain behaviours that you will adopt whilst on hyper alert, whilst trying to protect yourself, from perceived abandonment.
The Ego is particularly ravenous when it fears that it is about to be met with its deepest wounding, especially that original wound that set the Table for all others to gather, much later.
Behaviours such as excessive calling, texting, or attempting to make contact in the midst of the fear of becoming abandoned will push your partner away faster than anything else ever could. Co-dependency feels messy, nervous & too highly strung to anybody on the receiving end of it, though it is not intended to be seen that way.
To the person with abandonment based anxiety, they are merely pouring out their heart to their love and trying to get their love to see how much they truly love them, which only causes them further distress when their love rejects these outward displays of affection.. It is because this affection is coming from a space of Ego and wounding, and not from the heart, and your partner can feel this.
Paranoia and false accusations leading to your partner beginning to feel trapped, claustrophobic and uncomfortable are also a side effect of the reactions of those who suffer from abandonment based anxiety.
Their thought stream of negativity will cause them to make connections where connections do not exist.
All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.