Lately, my mind has been racing with so many things.
Who am I?
Who am I to become?
Was I always this deep?
What is the meaning of all of this?
Is this even real life?
Why am I stuck inside of my own mind all of the time?
Why do I care so much about societal injustice?
Why do I care so much about men, and women, and the things that they do?
Why do I have so many emotions, and why are they so intense?
Why is my nervous system so, nervous?
Why am I so nervous?
Why am I so anxious?
What’s going to happen in the future?
Who will stand the test of time with me?
And I don’t know any of the answers to any of these questions, and I cannot even begin to know.
I have been spending so much time alone lately, for the past few months actually, and it has been most strange. Sort of like living in limbo. I have received many spiritual insights since then, which have helped me broaden my views, and my knowledge of things.. But I have also dug so deeply into the human psyche, that I think that I am abnormal now.
None of the people around me understand me, or what goes on in my mind. I try to explain it to them, and for the most part they are sympathetic, but when I look deeply into their eyes, or listen to the uncertainty in their voice, I know that they do not truly, or fully understand me.
And can I blame them?
I mean what the hell is even going on with me..
I know I’m weird, and I push everyone away, and I prefer to be in this strange little cocoon by myself, doing strange things, but hey.. I am still a human, and I need human things.
The whole world forgot I still exist.
Now, I am off to do some more strange things..