The shadow self, soul retrieval, the divine feminine – healing, not ‘taming’, and twin flame lessons.

Now, I am going to be honest with you guys, very honest with you guys, because I feel that I have to be. Because, you show me so much love for my work, and I put so much love into my work, and I feel that it is owed, mutually.

Those of you who keep up with my regular work, will have known that I have been a, ‘twin flame specialist’, in the past, and that recently, I have not posted any work on twin flames.

There is a reason for this. I went through this period, (a few weeks), after my birthday of intense disbelief in the entire twin flame Union, and process, and began to become quite disdainful of all of the features, promises, contrasting information, and sufferings in opinion. Ofcourse, like all, this disbelief, and disregard, came from the ego, and the fear that I was feeling about not being loved, or wanted, and how my, ‘twin flame’ reflected all of this. Nothing seemed to make sense, and all I kept coming across were people who would tell me the most devastating stories about their twin flames, and I began to wonder how something so divine could cause such pain. 

This is when I took a step back. I started analysing everything for what it truly was, typical life path 7. I experienced something phenomenal, and life changing within my Union, and looking back at my life, since I connected with him, there is no doubt in my mind, that his arrival was a spiritual awakening.

So, how could I answer for all of the others, who I began to suspect were just dealing with karmic attachments, or abusive relationships? All I could sense from them was desperation, and pain.  And divine love has nothing to do with that. 

This is where I came to my new, final conclusion. To scrap the term, ‘twin flame’ altogether. Because this blanket term guarantees some sort of standardised path way, beliefs, and experiences that are shared amongst twin flames. This, ‘template’ also just so happens to also mirror that of an abusive, or emotionally stunted relationship. 

I experienced divine love. A sacred union. And that was it. That is all that I need to know. I do not need to necessarily label it, because then I am placing my experience in comparison with that of others, and basing my expectancy on attachment to this theory.

For the purposes of this article, and perhaps a few others, I will narrowly mention this term, here and there, as it is widely recognised, and relatable, but in my book, and for future reference, I will refer to this as, ‘the sacred union’. As I feel that the name, ‘twin flame’, has become a commodity, a fallacy almost.

However, in recognising this, there are still a few key features, that relate to, ‘divine love’, or, ‘a sacred Union’. 

One of these are, the balancing, and harmonising of emotional, and energetic templates. That is what this article will focus on.

I hope that you enjoy it..

– Seek Cindy.

  
Allowing the sacred feminine, a place to be safe, is the most loving thing that another can do for her, but first, it is the most loving thing that she can do for herself.
Despite what television dramatisation, and popular culture alike has taught us, women are in no way one dimensional. We are not either pretty, cute, and quirky, or bitchy, difficult, and slutty. Actually, woman is a mirage rather of all of these things – pretty exciting is it not?
Well, not to traditional values that wish to keep women tightly under wraps, under surveillance, and under control. For, how do you control the woman that is wild? How do you tame her if her moods are so explosive, and spontaneous that you cannot first anticipate them? You cannot. And that is the essence of the divine mother. Like nature, like the universe, she is unpredictable. Her emotions, come and go, as they please, like crashing waves heeding to the moons calls for rhythm.

Neither can she be destroyed, like lakes that run smoothly down to the river Nile.
The problem is, most men of this generation have been taught to be quite passive. Quite burdened, and quite fragile when dealing with all it is that the divine feminine has to offer. ‘She must be sweet. And loving. And doting. And otherwise in attendance to me, or I do not know how to handle her’.
I, myself, am a woman much like a volcano. I am a spiritual channel, and an empath, so ofcourse, I can so easily flow from one extreme to the other. Flexibility is my nature, fluid – much like the ocean.

And God forbid, I detect a hint of withdrawal, or abandonment, my fears will bubble to the surface, and spill over like hot lava, and everything, and everyone in its way will be burned.
But when I am a lover – when I am being loved, when I am perfectly in tune with the divinity of my lover, as he is with me, the passion that I unveil, and the protection that I bless us both with is second to none, rarely ever seen in plain existence.
So, what is a mere mortal man to do? Turn me away? Because my shadow self is a little too shadow’ey? Well, the twin flame Union is designated apparently to cause one to identify with their shadow self, and work on re-integrating their dark self, with their light self, effectively healing all previous wounding. 

  
From my knowledge, it does not speak on ridding the self of the shadow self entirely, or pretending that it does not exist.

Can the shadow self know unconditional love? Why, ofcourse it can.. It is the inner child, and truly that is all it wants,

The goal is to identify which triggers set off which emotions within your shadow self, and what you can do to give love, and attention, to the thoughts, memories, and experiences around this trigger. This is similar to the shamanic journey of soul retrieval.
However, much like with the shaman, the discovery of his darkness is not a foe, but instead an ally.. Signifying the depths from which he/she has travelled to locate their wisdom, and also giving them great insight into all levels of knowing, and feeling on this plane.

Let us also look at the wounded healer template.. The wounded healer never ACTUALLY becomes fully healed themselves. They may have found ways to cope with their pain, and still live a fruitful, and purposeful existence, but it is the memory of their pain, and their triggering of such pain when healing others, that allows them to know exactly what the afflicted needs. Why, they simply travel to a place within their own mind, where they were once afflicted, and treat another, by mentally treating themselves.
So, from my observation, you cannot wish to do away with your darkness, or your womanly wilderness. And neither, should this make you a less than suitable participant for a partner. The partner who cannot handle the divine feminine in her entirety, has had fear, and timidity forced upon him.

And yes, in many ways this describes, ‘the runner’, in the twin flame dynamic, often the reflection of the current state of the male psyche – docile, in a state of passivity, male ego, and fragility.
But just because this man is not ready, by his own shortcomings to embrace you.. Does not mean that you are not to embrace you, which is exactly what happens to the ‘stayer’, during the separation stage. She begins to question herself, and her worth. Why has this person loved me? Is it because I was too much? Too clingy? Too forward? Too embracing?
Well yes, the answer to all of these things, is yes, actually, you probably were that way. But this is not a problem that lies with you, necessarily, no, not you alone. As in sync with your behaviour , your partner was also too distant, too apathetic, too fragile, and too fearful. You both were out of sync, not just you. 

For example, in the case of soul mate partnerships, many men, take on the responsibility of catering to a woman who may be viewed as emotionally explosive. If he himself has attained a significant level of balance, he will be able to nourish her accordingly, and help her, (not do the work for her), to integrate a path of healing, and resolution, knowing that now, she is safe with him. Safe from whatever traumas, and experiences developed in childhood that contributed to her shadow self. In the case of twin flames, both, are spiritually unadapted when the separation stage must occur.

The goal during healing.. Is to flow to a place of middle ground. Where your chakras are not too open, and neither are his too closed. 
When this type of middle ground is achieved, even when the divine feminine explodes like the volcano that she is, she will be able to identify with what emotions are passing through her quickly, and be able to feel, and experience her emotions, without judging herself, therefore, sooner returning to a place of inner peace, and equilibrium 

What will also happen is that, the divine masculine who has opened his chakras further, will be able to accept, and embrace the challenges that arise within the divine feminine, loving her during her toughest trials, whatever they may be, and not shying away, out of fear, from his divine duty..
Cinderella Anneh-bu
© 2015
All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

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