Psychosis, and confusion hypnosis; a life path 7 initiatory crisis.

I am going through an incredibly strange and harrowing life process. Yes, it is true that i have completed an intense spiritual journey over the short time of a year, and I have changed so much that I can barely recognise who I am anymore.

I am caught in a limbo place, Inbetween time and place. No longer a product of the past, I cannot go back there, and it feels so alien and uncomfortable to me given my new found explorations, that I cannot even think of going there.

 Then there is the future, my manifestation ability says that it looks ripe, and ready, and promising. However, it is currently intangible, and it is the steps toward getting there that keep one frozen in limbo. It is a huge responsibility, almost a burden once you acknowledge that your past experiences were gradually built by the directions that you took, and understanding that these very steps that you are taking now, will once again also form your circumstances. Spiritual perceptive gives you strength, but also immeasurable responsibility.

I am looking around, and realising that many of the friends that I began this journey with years ago are no more, and that is forcing me to hold myself up to a magnifying glass, and re-assess who I truly am, who I have always been, and what this means for me now.

Everything appears hazy, yet somehow, clearer than it has ever been.

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2 thoughts on “Psychosis, and confusion hypnosis; a life path 7 initiatory crisis.

  1. Hi Cindy, I just came across your post, but never seen this website earlier, I read about your psychosis and some things you describe sound very familiar. I think you did something really incredible – putting into words what you’re going through. I remember I couldn’t describe what was happening with me when I was in an episode. I remember talking about what is going on was the first step in healing myself, next step I started eating clean – lots of vegetables, fruits, smoothies, lots of water and preferably little meat or dairy. Then I decided to start walking outside everyday for 30 minutes. It was very scary at first because reality is so much different from what you expierence during an episode, but it started to feel good. Then I picked up running and eventually I could go off the meds. I went through the phase too, that everything you learned from the day you were born is sliding from beneath you and means almost nothing anymore, If you want to get that person back, it’s like pulling at a dead horse. I had to chance and build myself up from the ground. It seems impossible, but there is no other choice so you will succeed eventually. Really, the lifestyle chances helped me a lot, especially the running. Now I havent experienced an episode for 6 years now and Im now mentally stronger than I was before. Have faith that one day you will come to that point too, how unbelievable it may sound right now – have faith and take little babysteps towards improvement in your life. The episodes shifted my interests as well, I love psychology and everything related to it. I just looked at and I’m thinking of getting into self hypnosis. Really interesting stuff. There is light at the end of the tunnel, believe it 🙂 I wish you the best, X Bianca

    1. This is the best and most beautiful advice that you could ever give me! Thank you so much for your beautiful comments/compliments and amazing insight! This has been a very difficult period of time because there are not a lot of people who you can articulate this type of thing to. It’s a mental, and largely psychological process.. I am breaking inside so that I may construct new pieces of myself from my brokenness, but everything happens with purpose! And I am ready to be stronger than ever! XXXX thank you again

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