The original story goes, the more partners that a male has sex with, the more validated he is, socially, physically, and in every other respect amongst his peers.
Whilst, the less partners that a female has sex with, the more validated she is, physically, and socially, usually amongst masculine standards, though we have induced a society where many women slut shame one another.
However, it is important to note that these stereotypes and labels carry greater weight within the heterosexual community, and the dynamics of sexual intercourse appear to be far more lucid, and free flowing within the LGBT community. (Throughout this article the terms he and she may be used interchangeably to describe those embodying mostly feminine, or masculine components).
Well, why is that you may ask?
And I think we will find the answer if we dig a little bit deeper, in to religion..
Religious doctrine in some nations is just that – doctrine, another way of governing the particular country, that doesn’t hold much truth, or much evidence with many people.
However, there was a time within the western society where religion was not so much a choice, or an alternative way to living, but a commanded, demanded, and required of living.
Under Roman Catholicism, the church, and the state could not be seen as very much autonomous from one another. What the church said, went. It was not a matter of speculation, or freedom of choice, this was provided, and supported as concrete truth, and the guide lines by which people were to narrowly live, for fear of multiple types of back lash, not just in the after life, but also holding very real consequence in this life, including an exile from the community, perhaps we do not have to go so far to learn of people, (women in particular) being stoned, and suffering other types of torture for not adhering to religious doctrine in regards to sex.
It is fair to say that this treatment of them, and the perceptions held of their sexual freedom, are still very much embedded into the subconscious, of both men, and women.
This belief system regarding women being somehow tainted, or faulted after engaging in sexual acts with somebody, (other than their husband, and under the permission of their father), was ofcourse limited to heterosexual relationships, as these were the only ones recognised at the time as validated by this group of people. Which I find pretty ironic, considering there are multiple stories dating back of homosexual play among the Romans! (But that’s a story for another day)-
The same rule was not present for men. Who were viewed as having complete sovereignty over their body, themselves, and their actions, not to mention over hierarchal systems, and societal/governmental placements.
It was just as patriarchy had stated in the new world. Men were meant to be in control. And women were meant to be controlled.
You only control what you fear will unleash an uncontrollable force.
Why do we lock people in prison?
Why do we ground our children when we fear that they misbehave?
Why do some partners hide their other half away from the light of waking day, so in fear that they may be taken by another?
Well, when you fear the potential of something, and understand the threat of it, you will do anything, and everything, within your ‘power’, to tame it.
This is exactly how it goes for women, and sexuality. Think about it. In a patriarchal society dominated by men, (quite anti women men), why would they place a set of rules and laws down that would protect women, and save their greatest good?
The perceptions of women surrounding sex, and the desire to minimise them in this sense, is nothing at all to do with protecting the woman, and everything to do with protecting ‘the order’.
In all religious institutions, especially abrahamic religions, all order must, and can only be obtained if the persons involved are somewhat submissive to a certain extent. There is no room for questioning these beliefs, as that would be ‘UnGodly’, and ‘blasphemous’. There is also no chance of rebelling as this would be accused of devil fraternising, and living in sin.
Could it be, that those in power knew then, that a woman owning her sexual prowess, and not cowering away in shame, could awaken something not only in her, but in the men she lays with, that no longer allows them to be so subservient, or obedient?
The key word being – awakening.
Everybody knows how liberating sexual intercourse can be. You’re entirely uninhibited, some would say belonging to realms outside of existing time, and space, a place where only you, and your lover exist. An outer body experience in essence, an experience that would allow one to understand that rules, and dogma, have no place within our society, as they have no place within our conscious awareness.
Sex may seem, purely physical, but it is so much more than that! And there is far more than meets the eye, If it were merely physical, the simple act of sex would be just that – sex. It would not involve the interference of merging spiritual auras, chords, and the sometimes resulting creation of a third energy (a child).
If sex was purely physical, then, why on earth is it so internal? So biological? Check out my article here for further insight –
Which brings me onto my next point. Sexual energy, is creative energy. And twin flames who have experienced Union in the physical, will agree to this. After the awakening of both bodies, and the birth of a third energy, they will find themselves open to a creative world that did not necessarily exist so freely for them prior. This is their awakening.
In my opinion, it is within the female that this creative energy is born, nurtured, and manifested, whilst it is within the male, that this energy is sustained, and focused enough for creation (manifestation) to take place.
Whoever a man chooses to lay with, determines what he is trying to create more of. If indeed, the woman is a bad, sad, or ‘mad’ woman, this is more of this energy that he fuels, and creates, within, and for himself.
She holds the power to magnetise this energy. In the same way that she may magnetise his seed, to create an embryo.
So, why would any society, or religious institution seek to put tabs, and essentially restrictions over this? Proclaiming her damned for such manifestation.
Well, in a patriarchal society that is run by the belief that men are the most powerful gender, the last thing that you want is a woman going around evoking the essence of God, awakening, and manifesting visions. Not only does she awaken herself, and grant herself spiritual awakening, but she articulates to those around her, that she truly is as powerful, as she thinks.
This is not to say that anything that a woman manifests and brings to light into this physical reality is positive. And this is where sexual responsibility comes into play. Now, this article is not to say that women should actually be out there fornicating at 100mph, with any, and everybody in attempts to raise their consciousness, or manifest their goals. Whilst people can live how they choose to live, this would also be harmful. This is merely allowing women to finally drop the shame, and the beliefs of ridicule associated with them being sexual beings. This is one of the ways in which the divine feminine has been bruised. Shame is an incredibly dense energy, that keeps one from accessing higher realms of self belief, and self actualisation. To believe that you are not worth such divine light, robs you, of the achievement of such.
Rather, this article hopes to draw attention to the sexual choices that women do make. When engaging in sexual behaviour with somebody who is of lower vibrations, or whilst the female energy experiences low vibrations herself, she will manifest this ten fold! This is why it is so, so vital to be cautious, and careful with those we choose to allow into our sacred space. It is more than fleeting enjoyment. It is responsibility of energies, it is responsibility of access, to a higher plane of existence.
Are any of you aware of Meagan Good, and her husbands current book? They speak about waiting until after marriage to have sex, and state that premature sex can sometimes mess with your life, control your focus, and deter your visions. This is very true. Not in all cases, but it is very true for those of us who view sex, is just a passing thrill. We can find ourselves in less than satisfactory situations, and we can also become so motivated by the pursuit of such, that we alienate, and forsake all matters.
Now, I do not believe that sex should only be experienced within the confines of traditional marriage, however, I am an advocate of it being reserved for divine partnership. One may experience divine partnership at different times, with different persons. And it is likely that when we connect with somebody on a deep soul level, the most high pulls as both together to experience something, to learn a lesson, and to grow in multiple ways, which inevitably could be achieved through sacred sexuality.
However, their sentiments are pretty accurate in my eyes. It is also the notion of ‘the sacrifice’, when you give something up to the divine, and show that the love that you are cultivating takes precedence over physical joys, once the two actually do join in sacred sexuality, their manifestation potential will be greater – as seen in their lives, and achievements since.
Can a woman’s worth then, truly be determined by sex?
Well, yes it can. But not in the ways that you may think. It is determined by her, and the decisions that she makes, and the thoughts/beliefs that this conjures within her mind. Low vibrational sexual partners will leave a woman feeling unsure, and uncertain of herself. Ofcourse, women are naturally more emotionally, and therefore spiritually inclined. To separate these aspects from sex, will create a complex, that leaves her wondering if the age old templates of the feminine, and sex may actually ring true. Is it truly shameful? Why is she feeling this way?
Most likely, she is feeling this way because her mind, and her feminine sexuality, are not in sync. In her mind, she may have falsified the belief that having sex with this individual is harmless, and encouraged, but in her sexual presence, she is aware that her potential suitor is not going to provide the tools for positive, and expansive manifestation. If she is not secure in her feminine power, she will go on, and lay with this person regardless. Choosing instead, to ignore her intuition, and deny herself.
In sacred sexuality, the woman holds great responsibility to be aware, and cautious of the man whom she lays with. Whatever he provides, will be the basis for what she will store within her for an undisclosed period of time, (unless actively cleared by her), and for what she will from then on experience, and manifest into her life. This is not sexism. We could say that the man also holds this great responsibility, but let us be honest, it is us women who truly decide if sex is going to happen, or not.
This takes us back to feminine power, and standing firm in our power. If a woman has given her sexual power away in the past, then this will feel wrong. It may be associated with feelings of victimisation, intense passiveness, and exploitation. This is a by product of women not knowing, and not owning their positions of power in sexual dynamics.
This is not to be confused with women who chose to engage in sex with somebody, are fully aware of the implications of their actions, and want to share in their energy. This relates to women who have not been so aware of the chords formed through sex, and have used sex for escapism, or to feel validated by another.
So what role does the man play, and should he too be so cautious?
Without a doubt he should! Unless he is comfortable with running around manifesting God knows what, with who knows what, and then severing those chords abruptly, effectively confusing both his, and her own aura, then ofcourse, he too must be cautious. This third energy needs to be nourished by both parties, If it is to manifest correctly. If it is not, and one, or both parties are unaware of its existence, (as tends to occur in a hook up culture such as our own), we may find that we slowly begin to experience soul loss.
Feelings of inadequacy, and emptiness. This is similar to somebody who has a child, and then abandons that child. Though they have chosen to turn their back on their child, this child is still very much apart of them, and will reflect them, and reflect their frequency of being abandoned.
This is why you will find many who have turned into sex addicts. No matter how much sex they have, they are still filled with an internal void, and therefore require more, and more, in attempts to quell this insatiable thirst. They are searching for the third energies that they have neglected, and put so much of themselves into. Little do they know, the more they proceed with this frivolous behaviour, the more that they will experience feelings of soul loss, and discontent.
In ancient times, people were much more conscious with sex. It would be a time of honour. They would light candles, schedule ceremonies, play music, and turn it into a time of truly conscious activity – acknowledging the sacred energy that they would be unleashing. Sex was used in alchemy, to achieve maximised manifestation ability, and also for healing and restoration purposes. Once again, like all spells, and magic, this is done using intention, belief, and awareness.
Effectively, sexual energy is about nurturing yourself. And believing in yourself enough to choose the best potential partner to host your third (creative manifestation energy). Sex does tend to go hand in hand with self worth, whether people do like to believe this or not. This is the most intimate and private part of yourself that you are sharing with another, and if you believe that you are highly valuable, you will ensure that the person you are intimate with, shares in your high value.
For women who fear that they have given their sexual power away in the past, this is not a determining factor of your worth, or validity as a woman, or potential suitor. This belief, actually prompts many women to gain rebellious attitudes toward sex, and start behaving in careless ways, that many would associate with defamed terms, such as ‘hoe’, and ‘slut’. The idea that she is already tarnished, and damaged may lead her into the belief that she may as well continue to inflict self abuse, and a disregardful attitude toward the sanctity of her frame. This is how, and why many women who are sexually abused go on to take jobs in which their sexuality is at the forefront, and is commodified, for many, or other purposes.
“The more somebody suffers from low self esteem, the more likely they are to be involved in hyper sexuality + self inflicted sexual abuse.
IMPORTANT NOTICE – more than likely that person that you refer to as a, ‘hoe’, has experienced some type of sexual abuse or sexual malfunction during their childhood. This experience(s), usually occurs before puberty, may spurn off premature puberty, and permanently alters the way in which the individual views intimacy, trust, sexual health, and relationships. If this act was committed by a trusted member of the family, or family dynamic, the individual may grow to have difficulty with establishing sexual boundaries, having been taught by their experiences to believe, that there truly are none.
The sexualisation of a child from such a young age, also stirs impulsive sexual desires, and behaviours in them that they may be desperate to act out, in attempts to seek the same ‘euphoria’ associated with the feeling of sexual arousal. As they are aware by the secrecy of their abuse that the actions that they are involved in are wrong, they may also develop unhealthy attitudes to sexual Behaviours, believing largely, that anything goes.
As low self esteem is a trait also associated with sexual abuse, it is very likely, if not a certainty, that they will go on to have a complex relationship with sex, where their former abuse continues to re-surface, well into adulthood.
You see why, ‘slut shaming’ doesn’t work? No amount of shame can account for that which people already carry..
I encourage any woman struggling with this complex to reach out to me, and also to purchase a womb cleansing kit from my loving sister.. @melinatedbeauty on Twitter aka khemmy flowers.
Once that has been complete, I will also talk, and guide you through the process of conscious cleansing, and shifting your thoughts toward a place of healing, and self forgiveness.
Twitter – @spiritualpoet_
Instagram – @spiritualpoetess_
Tumblr – http://www.spiritualpoet.tumblr.com
E – email@example.com
All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.