What is baby boy syndrome you ask?
Well, just that. A ‘condition’, in which a man over the age of (roughly 18) – adulthood refuses to acknowledge that he has crossed a threshold age where he must be responsible for his actions, become self sustainable, and inject conscious awareness into his thoughts, feelings, and actions. In other words, a man who appears to embody a man on the outside, but on the inside, hasn’t the slightest clue how to navigate in this world, as an independent, and reliable force.
What are some of the symptoms of baby boy syndrome?
A man who does not have any long term plans, nor a plan to construct a plan.
This differs from a man who is having a hard time. Perhaps he has lost his job, perhaps he has run into slight money troubles temporarily even. No. This type of man is choosing not to strive for his own earnings. For whatever reason, he has conjured the belief that he is above the working world, and rather than wondering what he can contribute to the world through working, wonders why on earth any company/institution deserves him to work for them! Yes, did i forget to mention this type of man also tends to be overly narcissistic, and suffering from delusions of grandeur. As a matter of fact, it is these delusions that he suffers from that allow him to go through life fooling many people – namely women, who happen to see some charm and promise behind his façade.
Truth be told, he keeps up his delusions so well, that it is very likely that he too believes them. Rather than acknowledging that he doesn’t want to establish a career probably because he is pretty lazy, and self expectant, he will blame everything else that he can think of for his situations – a lack of opportunity, everybody else, timing, or just life in general.
Because of the choke hold that this man displays on his own traumas, he is usually unable to kick the habits that he has picked up along the way in order to escape from his truths, if even temporarily. Alcohol, drugs, serial cheating, promiscuity, these are only but few indications of perpetuating cycles of self depravity, and deception that he finds himself involved in. Without the conscious awareness that his actions are harmful to both himself, and those around him, coupled with a lack of remorse, he is unable to break free, and witness a pattern of self destruction. He operates largely from the ego, and these actions do tend to reaffirm his ego beliefs that he is somehow irresponsible for his actions.
He has managed to create a space within his psyche where he can actively separate himself from his actions, almost as if he is a different person. This is called mental disassociation, and is typically a technique used by criminals in order to separate themselves from the crimes that they are doing.
They are either able to disassociate themselves, or disassociate their victims from humanity. Therefore, seeing their victim as an object, they can inflict whatever level of pain, or damage that they decide to. Many would label these people socio-paths, but the truth of the matter is, sociopathy is a blanket term, and pretty rigid, whereas individuals who do not possess all sociopathic traits, still may be fully capable of embodying sociopathic behaviour.
A strategy determined in order to help victims ward off attack, is to discuss themselves, their personal lives, and even their children in the middle of the threat of an attack, in order to remind their victim that they are in-fact human, and insight some empathy into them. Records show that this actually has helped, in cases, and attackers have ran away, and abandoned the initial attack, in response to this.
My belief is that, this disassociation is directly tied into whatever trauma that this male initially suffered, either earlier in life, or in childhood itself. There was likely an incident in which the individual had to disassociate themselves, in order to mentally, and emotionally separate from the pain that they were experiencing.
Since this incident, the individual would have experienced recurring practice, in slipping away from themselves mentally in this way, either through impersonating an entirely different character, or through escaping into an alternate reality, altogether. Their access to mind altering drugs allows them to preserve, and prolong this experience, so that they may not have to face their traumas.
Because this man has experienced such shaky transactions in his life, it is very important to him to be able to maintain as much control as he possibly can. Because he usually has no control over his own life, he will turn this control outward, trying to be controlling of partners, or those around him by manipulating them in some ways, in order to play out his fantasies, and desires, in the ways in which he would like them. Whilst maintaining his position as the all knowing, all having hero.
Split personality disorder.
An angel one moment. The devil, the next. Did i mention that escapism thing? Well escaping personalities and embodying a separate character altogether is also a skill for these individuals. Depending on whether their external relations, and circumstances are benefiting their egoic desires or not, these individuals will embody separate different personas, with the ability to fly off the radar, and become hostile, defensive, and unpleasant with the snap of a finger..
© Seek Cindy 2016
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