I have found that on the journey of healing, and self progression, a lot of us tend to be very hard on ourselves, and the choices that we make.
We often become so one dimensional in our desperate attempts to not repeat the same actions of the past, and to instantly view immediate results of our new found awareness, that we fail to be compassionate toward ourselves, and remember that we are still on a journey. We want to be better than we were before, we want to ensure that we do not allow ourselves to slip beneath our own radars, so we become self dictators in a sense, offering strict regimes to what is, and what is not, allowed.
We have to remember that the ultimate factor in the journey of healing is self compassion, self understanding, and self love. Where does self love fit in whilst you are constantly berating yourself for not doing something as perfectly as the ‘new you’, should do? The old you is not completely dead yet, do not forget that, so it is normal, expected even for you to experience low moments, moments where you may still be acting out of ego, unresolved pain, or wounds of the past.
What you absolutely must remember also, is that all of the actions associated with your lower self, that you are so desperate to get rid of, are actually all still coming from a place of unhealed pain, the scared, yet sacred inner child within you, who has already had their fair share of trauma, and blame, and does not need any more from you.
So, you may not be as perfect as the self declared righteous spiritual gurus on the internet. Who cares? Even they are not as righteous, and holier than thou as they appear to be.
I myself, have conjured quite the image of being the spiritual spokesperson, and I want to admit that, regardless of this, I do still battle my way through complex trauma flare ups, and I do still become increasingly overwhelmed in some public settings. The truth of the matter is, there is no quick fix.
And I try to offer this compassionate hand during my readings, yes, I say, ‘you do need to work on self love, and you do need to face issues of conflict from the past’, and this will be painful, and this will take some time, and no, this is not going to magically happen when you click your fingers.
The entire process of healing is a journey, and not a destination, so please do not be put off if you think that you are regressing, of if you still exhibit behaviours associated with a perceived lesser version of yourself.
Let us be honest, life gets tough, INCREDIBLY tough. Let us be honest, life gets painful, INCREDIBLY painful. This is something that most self help gurus will not tell you, for fear of losing potential clientèle. If they paint life as consistently hippy dippy, and eerily dreamy, you will want to purchase whatever anecdote that they are claiming offers this sort of lucid state.
But this is wrong. This is not what healing is about. Yes, there is going to be what you may consider, ‘regression’, for a large part of the journey, this is because nobody is perfect, and these behaviours, and these wounds were not formed over night, so why on earth would they be banished over night?
We live in a hyper critical, and judgemental society, and social media does not exactly serve to make it any better. It is so easy to fall into a trap of comparing yourself to other’s, their lives, and their experiences, but one must remember, that everybody’s life consists of timelines – -timelines of ups, timelines of downs, and step, by step movement.
If your life has remained seemingly the same for years on end, then this is an issue that you need to identify with, within yourself. Because life does get down sometimes, ofcourse it does, and this is apart of the ebb, and flow, but life also gets up, and your life should be somewhat a mediumship, of these two states of existence.
Just because you witness somebody on social media who appears to have the exact life that you would desire, does not mean that this person has not been hit with their own set of downs in life, or that they will never meet a period of disappointment at another interval in their life.
It is not about how many times you fall, it is not about how difficult life gets, it is all about the ways in which you adjust to these difficulties that life presents.
If you suffer from a complex form of trauma, persistent depression, anxiety, or post traumatic stress disorder, then please be more than patient with yourself. Do not hold yourself up in accordance to society’s standards, and themes, most of society, is not suffering outwardly with these conditions, so of-course their achievements, abilities, and experiences will be vastly different from your own.
Progress is a very intimate, and subjective experience.
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