It is only in my darkest, & most humble moments that I seek to reach out to you.
Not because that is the only time I think of you. But because that is the only time that I am still enough to truly think of you. You exist in the silence & in the darkness. When I pull myself away from everyone & everything & find a moment to explore my own truth.
Who I have been.
How far on this journey that I have travelled only to realise that I have gone nowhere at all.
In my desires not to become like my father, I have found myself in his image.
Being just as deceitful to you as I have watched him be to me.
I will bide my time before making any bid to you too big to compromise.
I wonder if you will digest my words, as I myself am unsure how long I will feel this way.
It is difficult at times to feel in the heart yet be contradicted by the mind, & I haven’t told you much but rejection is the thing that I fear the most.
I have been on unstable ground since I can remember. So when I tell you that I feel for you & then I pull my love away.. I am always, almost, just as confused as you.
– Divine masculine.