Twin Flame Weekly Reading; 20th-26th June – Powerful healing and acknowledgement.

twin flame last june

Main theme – Four of cups, What both twins are going through – Eight of cups, Masculine – Eight of wands, King of wands, Seven of cups, Feminine – Two of cups, The star, The chariot.

Before I begin, I would just like to note once again, that this reading is not limited to those who identify with the term twin flames alone, and high level soul mates should find great solace in these readings. Once again, the terms masculine, and feminine are actually interchangeable, and not always dependent on one’s gender. A woman may identify with the masculine side, perhaps because she is the masculine energy in the relationship, and vice versa.

This week, both twins find themselves delving a little bit deeper into themselves, still. The four of cups is all about this period of self assessment, and self analysis. This is tuning out of the world, and dialling into one’s self. If the twins have previously been running from themselves, and running from their truth, then this week, is the week that they will finally face their own selves, their selves in totality – their darkness, their demons, and their light. This is no longer focusing on one aspect of the self, but rather the full version of the soul, and all of the things that the soul comes with. This is getting to know themselves on the most intimate level, so thankfully – this is the one thing that will bring them healing. Deep contemplation WILL bring overall understanding.

Such deep contemplation, and focus on the shadow aspects will lead both twins this week to mentally and emotionally sort through everything that no longer serves them, enabling them to let go. The eight of cups is the process of abandoning everything that is energetically binding, for negative reasons. The twins CAN see a new dawn on the horizon right now, and nothing is about to stop them from achieving this. They both want freedom at this point, and freedom looks like leaving the BS behind, and after everything they have been through? They are more than ready, and willing to do this – to go to battle FOR themselves.

The masculine this week has SO much information, and news rushing to him – this is all as a result of his self reflection, and self studying. He is beginning to piece together the bigger picture, the huge puzzle – why things have been as they are, and what he needs to do to get himself into the role of the king of wands. He is beginning to believe in himself again, and awakening to the reality of his spiritual heritage. The seven of cups is all about his spiritual process of finding, and identifying with himself. Delving deep into the self, and realising that he is pretty powerful all in his own right. The king of wands is awakening of the chakras, and aligning of each chakra. His sexual centres, are merging with his heart centre, (masculine, and feminine balance), and he is realising that this integration is most vital to his healing process, and also very vital in terms of his career.

Over on the feminine side, we can see with the presence of the two of cups that she is ALSO this week balancing her masculine side, with her feminine side, for a long time she has been what we would call hyper feminine, and this actually kept her from actualising her goals, and becoming the best version of herself, particularly career, and self image wise.

It was the masculine who triggered this balance, and awakening within her, but she is now becoming a power house all on her own, and taking that drive, and determination to be better, to the next level. She knows what she has to do now, and the chariot asks her to go RIGHT ahead, there is nothing holding her back anymore, not even herself, so with the chariot by her side, she is in control of her life now, she is in the steering seat, and she can go anywhere, accomplish anything, and make of her dreams what SHE wants. Yes, this is a very powerful position that she finds herself in this week, and I have never been happier for her..

The star card symbolises her sense of renewed hope. Things no longer appear so bleak, so cloudy, and so out of reach. She can see now that this was all a product of her mental state, and the limitations that she was placing upon herself. This is about breaking free from anxiety, and ACTUALLY challenging depression and low vibrational energies, as opposed to just allowing them to seep through, and merge with her..

 

Happy healing my sacred beings!

To book your own personalised/private reading with me..Just send me an email at cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk and I will be yours in a flash! Readings can be received via email, skype, or face to face for those living in the area of London.

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The secrets of love; Why do we do it?

love why

We all want love. It is the one thing that keeps us all awake at night..Even if we do not know consciously, that it is love that we seek. The absence of love, is pain. So, before we are even old enough to recognise, we mould, and we merge ourselves in order to be receiving, and deserving of this kind of love.

I find that those who have come from abusive backgrounds, tend to carry the years of trauma, neglect, and abuse that sit on their shoulders with them throughout their lives, because their psyche cannot make understanding of the fact that they were denied something so vital, especially to such tender years of one’s life. Not only do we all want love, but we all NEED love.

So, what does that mean? Do we all NEED to be in a relationship? Do we all NEED a partnership? When the fruits of our parents love is no longer (or never was), significant enough, what does that mean for us in love? Are humans by nature destined to be coupled, consistently, and consecutively?

Well, my answer is..Somewhere in between no, and possibly. I do not believe that we always need to be in relationship with somebody, even as a highly sensitive, love infused empath. And actually, I believe that this theory that we, (especially women), must always be part of a partnership, is very damaging to our self worth, self love, and right to be autonomous in this world. Sure, relationships do shape you, in a major way, and you grow, and come to realise more about who you are from romantic relationships, but I also have found that you can lose yourself, to your own desire to be accounted for.

A relationship should not define who you are. Some marriages, and romantic connections do last ‘forever’, the duration of your life time, but about 50% of them, will go bust at one point, and what will you be left with then?

I am not saying that just because a relationship did not work out, means that it was useless, pointless, or a waste of time, because far from it actually – It is our disconnections with romance that cause us to really delve deeply within, and figure out more about who we are, and what we want from life. What I am saying is, you can not rely on a relationship to prove that you are worthy of love, worthy of appreciation, or worthy of recognition.

For a long time, as I ran away from myself, and ran into the arms of numerous other lovers, I thought that I was learning about love. I thought that I was learning how to love myself. My self love was dependent on the men that could love me, if they could. If they did, or showed me something reminiscent at least of love, I would conclude that this was because I was valuable somehow, and them recognising this in me, allowed me to also recognise this in myself. This is the classic story for so many insecure women, and people battling with their own self esteem. Like I said, we all want love. We all need love. And if we have been deprived of it, in anyway, we will set out to seek for it, and we will always set out to understand why it was not previously granted to us. This is the make up model of abusive relationships, and how dysfunction in love perpetuates itself.

Even when the abused are abused, or treated far less than they should ever be, it is their one single quest to understand why this is happening to them..Why this has been happening to them, that keeps them tied so tightly to this illusion of what it means to be loved.

We settle in love when we do not know who we are. We do not necessarily care who they recipient is, as long as there is somebody to project our love on to. This is NOT love. Especially not on our part, and this is what we need to realise, whilst we are still insecure, and uncertain of ourselves. We wonder why we love others, and they do not love us back? This is because, we do not love others..We only think that we do.

We want them to prove to us that we are worthy of love, so from the minute that the relationship is off the ground, it is not about, ‘us’, it is not about, ‘we’, it is not about ‘them’, it becomes, about you. It becomes selfish love. And there is nothing about love that can remotely be selfish.

It is such an interesting term and a concept love, isn’t it? The way that we throw it about in everyday ordinary life. Giving it so much power yet simultaneously so much triviality and sensationalism. But how many of us even know what it truly means? I sure do not..I know that it exists.  But like all things mystical, spiritual, and not of a tangible frequency, it exists in feeling, in thought, in knowing, and not in proof, or logistics or measurements. This is what makes it so special. There is no seeing is believing.. There just is. And that is what is so frightening about it.

Most of us do not know how to love because we have never been taught how to love, but this does not stop us from trying anyway, so on we trod, with our hopeless idealisms, dreams for a better tomorrow, and stereotypical television depictions of what we should be doing..Ah, I adore humans, I love human kind.. We have not a clue, but we are so determined to..

Anyway, so on we trod, projecting our unmet issues, and unresolved family history/karma on to other unsuspecting souls, for the most part, even unbeknownst to us. So, we destroy a few hearts in the process, damage a few people on our journey, and near enough dent ourselves past the point of recognition, and for what? What does it all mean? What is it worth in the end? In the end, when you have to let go anyway?

It is worth, you. It is for, you. Love is the greatest teacher, the greatest lesson that you will ever know. And I will not be here today and tell you to be strong, to move on, to stop missing the ex’s who made such a huge impact on your entire being. Why, I have not. So why would I advise you to? If I were over all of them completely, if I had forgotten every single last trace of them, I promise you, I would not write the way that I do today..

They taught me, practically gave me my spirituality. Made it so that I needed no books to teach as I do now, all I need was a memory bank. If you are raw, bruised, and cut open over love, be this way.. I guess, in your own special, sordid way, it is your destiny. Not to be hurt, not to be abused. But to learn from the instances where you are hurt, and you are abused.

Let us hope, you will become so desensitised to the idea of being unlovable, that you will begin to heal. Because, there is only so much that a person can tell themselves that they are unworthy, before they grow sick of their own lies.

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

 

Karmic attachments; Signs, symbols, and purpose.

 

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What is a karmic attachment one might ask, and how does one become so attached to their karma? 

Well, you probably see me discuss karmic attachments quite a lot. In-fact, if you are an avid reader of my work, you probably see me discuss quite a few different types of romantic, and spiritual relationships, including twin flames, and soul mates, and you may just find yourself wondering, what is a karmic attachment, and how does it relate to me, or anyone for that matter?

A karmic attachment is called a karmic attachment because it is rooted in karma, and the karmic transactions that you have yet to work through. Now, in order for you to understand a karmic attachment, you will first need to understand karma, true karma, and perhaps not the type of karma that you have been led to believe.

Traditionally, people have come up with the idea that karma is this sort of universal force, that either follows you throughout your lives, or impacts you somewhere in the near future, dependent on whether you have lived a virtuous life, or a life of crime, and ill intention.

Well, I guess this is kinda true. Karma does actually follow you throughout your many lives, and it does impact you somewhere in the near future, but also, and perhaps most importantly, karma is something that is always with you, and always affecting you, unless you become aware of it. So, how does karma follow you within your past lives, and how is this karmic debt stored?

Well, because we experience childhood first and foremost when we incarnate onto this earthly/physical plane, it is within our childhood that all of our karmic templates from the previous life, are then again re-gifted to us, (this is if we have not yet learnt to break the karmic pattern, and rise up above soul recycling in this way), and we are destined to relive these patterns over, once more. These patterns, are actually passed down onto us from our parents, and in this viewpoint, it is no coincidence who your parents are, and likely, they have some karmic history that is directly related to your own life’s purpose, and your own earthly mission – this is why you are apart of the same soul group.

Your karmic destiny, may be to transmute pain, or to learn to balance your masculine side, with your feminine side. If this is the case, then you will probably incarnate into an energetic form that is very hyper feminine, and for the purpose of your task to really hit home, you will likely have the masculine removed from the equation, so perhaps, a distant father, emotionally, or physically, or rather, no father at all.

Now, what a karmic attachment would do, is come along and trigger, and play on this wound of distance, and absence of a father figure (masculine energy). Karmic attachments are much like cycles of life. They will continuously re-appear to us, and make themselves known, all in different forms, with the same soul (sole) purpose, until we come to awaken to the reality of the message that is being dictated to us.

If you identify as an empath, or an old soul healer, then it is likely you will experience a life filled with many karmic attachments. This is not necessarily because your life is difficult than the lives of others, (although, let’s be honest, it kinda is-), but because you have the added duty of clearing your entire genetic karmic line. So, for instance, if you incarnate as a woman, and you have a long line of karmic debt associated with abandonment, and mistreatment, you, the empath, will draw fourth karmic attachments who are likely to always abandon you, or mistreat you, because you are to recognise the pattern, challenge it, and clear it for good – thus, not passing it on to the generation underneath you, and further keeping it trapped within the family blood line.

Signs of a karmic attachment.

  • You keep playing out the same relationship dynamic in all of your romantic relationships. Although with different partners, all of your partners seem to posses very similar traits, abilities, and characteristics.
  • The partners that you attract resemble one in another, in some form. They may not outwardly look exactly the same, but they will have similar body types, hair types, or more commonly, have eyes that hold the same deep, soul-ful glare.
  • You will be triggered very early on in your romantic relationships. And you may not always understand why. This triggering is alerting you of the karma that is at play here, and what demands transmutation.
  • You may have the feeling of being cursed, trapped, unlucky in love, or unable to find happiness in a romantic sense.
  • One or both of your parents may have been a victim of some type of childhood abuse, or neglect, or even their parents/parents, this is how the karma is downloaded unto you.
  • You notice that the partners that you attract are also always in some type of emotional, or psychological turmoil. It is not only you who seeks to transmute karma. But they too have their own karma, and energetic debt, that they are seeking to understand through you.
  • You experience high highs, and low lows throughout the course of the relationships with these individuals. The divine knows you like no other. The divine knows how to get your attention, and these souls are specifically sent to you to do just that. You will constantly be triggered, but you will almost become addicted to the journey, either way.
  • The souls that you find yourselves playing out these themes with, may not necessarily even be your physical type, or those who you immediately feel a sense of strong attachment to. Remember, this is the soul’s journey, so upon looking with your two eyes, these karmic attachments may appear bland, nothing too special, or even at times unattractive to you. It is only when you look with your third eye, that you will recognise them, and seek to build some type of soul connection, or relationship with them.
  • Upon meeting this person, you experience a sense of recognition, and familiarity. You may look into their eyes, and feel as if you have had a home there before. The truth is, yes this person is very familiar to you, but for their soul, and energetic imprint, and if you do not accept the lesson this time, then it is destined to repeat itself through other seemingly familiar, and recognisable souls.
  • You are likely to meet this individual in a strange, or synchronous way. This is the universe’s way of placing you at the right place, at the right time. Pay attention to the thoughts that you were having just before meeting this person. Were you telling yourself that you were unworthy? That you were not good enough? And that you would never find love? There you have it…Manifested, before your very eyes.
  • A feeling of fate, or destiny coming to pass. Yes, this relationship feels very destined, and fated, because – it truly is. But it is not destined in the sense that you are to end up with this person. It is destined in a sense that, you ARE to learn this lesson, you ARE to transmute this pain, and you ARE to grow both wiser, and stronger, through these experience, and all others alike.

 

If you would like help in determining your own spiritual love connection, then email me today via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk in order to set up a reading booking.

If you appreciate these type of weekly readings, and you would like to invest in my craft, feel free to place a donation via my tumblr page, http://www.spiritualpoet.tumblr.com

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

Father’s cot.

fathers cot.jpg

Afbeelding Albert Neuhuys – Watching father work

Time is always ticking inside of my mind.
I do not remember a time, when i was sound.
Maybe in childhood, definitely not adolescence,
the last time that i was present,
not prone to self negligence.
Before all of the strenuous, tumultuous lessons,
visions of love, and trust, rolling in the dust.
Is it not too much to ask for something that is non reminiscent of love?
Last night, i had a dream of my father, through muffled whispers,
I told him..You hurt us, you deserted us, and now I am perpetually nervous,
anxious,
hyper sensitive,
wondering,
does this man love me so?
Will he too go?
Will we never ever get to grow?
Will i never ever know, is the fault mine,
or is he the very foe?
And he too,
and not to forget him from last year?
How long?
Before I call them all a villain, perhaps the villain lies within myself,
my own hell,
the world that i created through my father, i said to myself,
if he loveth me not, then why should any other of his kind not leave me to rot?

Fathers cot.

Cindy Anneh-bu

Forgive yourself once more; How making a mistake does not automatically signify regression.

I have found that on the journey of healing, and self progression, a lot of us tend to be very hard on ourselves, and the choices that we make.

We often become so one dimensional in our desperate attempts to not repeat the same actions of the past, and to instantly view immediate results of our new found awareness, that we fail to be compassionate toward ourselves, and remember that we are still on a journey. We want to be better than we were before, we want to ensure that we do not allow ourselves to slip beneath our own radars, so we become self dictators in a sense, offering strict regimes to what is, and what is not, allowed.

We have to remember that the ultimate factor in the journey of healing is self compassion, self understanding, and self love. Where does self love fit in whilst you are constantly berating yourself for not doing something as perfectly as the ‘new you’, should do? The old you is not completely dead yet, do not forget that, so it is normal, expected even for you to experience low moments, moments where you may still be acting out of ego, unresolved pain, or wounds of the past.

What you absolutely must remember also, is that all of the actions associated with your lower self, that you are so desperate to get rid of, are actually all still coming from a place of unhealed pain, the scared, yet sacred inner child within you, who has already had their fair share of trauma, and blame, and does not need any more from you.

So, you may not be as perfect as the self declared righteous spiritual gurus on the internet. Who cares? Even they are not as righteous, and holier than thou as they appear to be.

I myself, have conjured quite the image of being the spiritual spokesperson, and I want to admit that, regardless of this, I do still battle my way through complex trauma flare ups, and I do still become increasingly overwhelmed in some public settings. The truth of the matter is, there is no quick fix.

And I try to offer this compassionate hand during my readings, yes, I say, ‘you do need to work on self love, and you do need to face issues of conflict from the past’, and this will be painful, and this will take some time, and no, this is not going to magically happen when you click your fingers.

The entire process of healing is a journey, and not a destination, so please do not be put off if you think that you are regressing, of if you still exhibit behaviours associated with a perceived lesser version of yourself.

Let us be honest, life gets tough, INCREDIBLY tough. Let us be honest, life gets painful, INCREDIBLY painful. This is something that most self help gurus will not tell you, for fear of losing potential clientèle. If they paint life as consistently hippy dippy, and eerily dreamy, you will want to purchase whatever anecdote that they are claiming offers this sort of lucid state.

But this is wrong. This is not what healing is about. Yes, there is going to be what you may consider, ‘regression’, for a large part of the journey, this is because nobody is  perfect, and these behaviours, and these wounds were not formed over night, so why on earth would they be banished over night?

We live in a hyper critical, and judgemental society, and social media does not exactly serve to make it any better. It is so easy to fall into a trap of comparing yourself to other’s, their lives, and their experiences, but one must remember, that everybody’s life consists of timelines – -timelines of ups, timelines of downs, and step, by step movement.

If your life has remained seemingly the same for years on end, then this is an issue that you need to identify with, within yourself. Because life does get down sometimes, ofcourse it does, and this is apart of the ebb, and flow, but life also gets up, and your life should be somewhat a mediumship, of these two states of existence.

Just because you witness somebody on social media who appears to have the exact life that you would desire, does not mean that this person has not been hit with their own set of downs in life, or that they will never meet a period of disappointment at another interval in their life.

It is not about how many times you fall, it is not about how difficult life gets, it is all about the ways in which you adjust to these difficulties that life presents.

If you suffer from a complex form of trauma, persistent depression, anxiety, or post traumatic stress disorder, then please be more than patient with yourself. Do not hold yourself up in accordance to society’s standards, and themes, most of society, is not suffering outwardly with these conditions, so of-course their achievements, abilities, and experiences will be vastly different from  your own.

Progress is a very intimate, and subjective experience.

 

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

The dark side of spirituality..

shadow

 

Alot of meta-physicians, and energy workers tend to focus on ‘the light’, and ‘positivity’ within their brand of teaching, and often stray away from the topics that constitute to one needing to fathom light, and positivity.

In one particular brand of shamanism, a person cannot become an initiate until they have graduated from a certain level/depth of suffering.
In other spiritual philosophies, we call this, ‘the dark night of the soul’.

This is an intense period right before the break through of spiritual elevation and evolution, and can last any time in-between a few days, a few months, and a few years.
It all depends on the ability of the initiate to travel deeply into their own unconscious darkness, and retrieve the lost fragments of their soul.
In other words, to heal, to understand, and the revive an anecdote for healing, to be shared with the rest of the community.

I believe that i endured this same period when I was going through what i would call the most intense moments of my depression.
What felt like depression, and was actually described as such by Western medics, was in my now opinion, the offset of a triggering.
A spiritual triggering, that could no longer cope with my blatant disregard of my spiritual abilities.

I had also absorbed much of the energy of my community, family, and society, which was associated with stagnant, pollutant, and toxic energies.
All of this boiling to the brink inside of me caused something similar to a psychological break down.
I did not feel at home in my own body, for i was not.
I had company.
I was being invaded.

Some people may refer to this as dark spirits/dark energy.
And one night in-fact, when my cousin who is a regular attendant of the Christian church came to check how i was doing, she actually brought a ministry along with her, who did declare that i was suffering from some sort of ‘possession’.
Though not the type that you see perhaps on ‘The Amityville horror’, or, ‘The conjuring’..

 

 

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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

Childhood – Emotional/psychological abuse, and the effects that it leaves.

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Alot of people find emotional abuse, and psychological abuse, difficult to digest, or hard to diagnose. This is because, unlike physical abuse, there is no outward manifestation, or symptoms that can be directly traced back to a cause.

Because of this, sadly, so many children go from school to home, from home, to school, keeping within them the burdensome secret, of the double life, and the trauma that they must regularly endure.

This type  of abuse is so subtle, and insidious, that it is possible that even the child in question, does not realise that they are being abused, or harmed. They may simply perceive that they have a strict, parent, or parents, and therefore internalise the abuse to be a result of something that they are doing, and that they have done.

The internalisation of this blame is incredibly dangerous, because it can off-set a cycle of the child learning to blame themselves for abuse, (that is usually perpetuated later in life), and also to constantly try to modify their behaviours, and their impulses in order not to receive any further abuse.

‘One study has suggested that victims of childhood physical abuse have a 40% chance of being diagnosed with major depressive disorder at some stage in their life and a 30% chance of being diagnosed with a disruptive behaviour disorder’.

Have you ever graced the presence of somebody who almost shrinks into themselves. Who holds a posture, a position, and a meek voice, that screams of self consciousness, and hyper vigilance. Well, this was me. And this is also the individual who is very careful, about their movements, and about their words, because they have been taught that to put a wrong foot out of place, or to cause yourself to become ‘too noticed’, ‘too enlarged’, offers them the risk of being re-abused.

This individual may go through their entire life feeling as if they have to walk in the shadows, or manipulate their behaviours in order to appear as less of a threat.

In my observation, i have witnessed there to be two separate manifestations of somebody who suffers from emotional/psychological abuse, or some type of abandonment/neglect/rejection, earlier on in childhood.

Despite what new-ageism, and alternative lifestyles preach, every child does need to be grow, and be nurtured under the guidance of a strong, secure, consistent, and stable/balanced house hold. It is very important for children to have access to a blend of both masculine, and feminine energies, as the feminine energy, (typically, but not always the mother), enriches them with love, comfort, and forgiveness, whilst the masculine energy, (typically, but not always the father), instils order, protection, safety, and strength within them.

This does not have to exist as a part of a nuclear family dynamic, with one, mother and one father, if this type of set up is inaccessible, for a variety of reasons. This could be alternated, with the presence of extended family members, or even care givers, standing in to fulfil these roles.

In Africa, there is a congregation of an extended family, wherein aunties, uncles, parents, and grandparents are likely to share one compound, and raise children as a community, within a tight, supported, and watchful network.

This by far, has to be one of my favourite methods of up-bringing. Although this can not be so easily maintained as a part of western living, ideally, it is a beautiful practice, regardless. It also goes to show that the development of each individual is not only reflective of their community, but also reflective of their level of involvement within the individual’s life.

Can we blame ‘bad’ people, for being ‘bad’ people?

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There is an association between childhood abuse and the risk of suicidal behaviour. One study found that a history of physical abuse increases the odds of attempting suicide by almost 5 times, while a history of emotional abuse may increase the odds of a suicide attempt by more than 12 times

And if so, must we not condemn their entire community, and the parents whom raised them?

I believe in redemption, to a certain extent. After all, many of the most viscous, unpleasant, and sociopathic people that i have met throughout the course of my life, have all appeared to have suffered some sort of core wounding in childhood. A wound that only seemed to grow overtime, and manifest as their shadow self, blocking them from their own light.

It is the subconscious, and the unconscious that rules their actions, their lack of empathy, that also remains buried below the consciousness. Empathy opens the door way for emotional openness, and vulnerability. It is likely that many of these people have had to intensely suppress, and deny their empathy, in order to cope with their level of trauma, or abuse more effectively.

Let’s say, for instance, there is a young man who is regularly physically, and verbally abused by his father over a recurring period of time. Even if this young man is initially highly sensitive, and possesses an innocent, and a naive approach to life, sooner or later, in order to protect himself, his subconscious mind will ask him to numb himself. Numb himself to the insults that he receives, and numb himself from the expectancy of consistent love, empathy, or remorse from his father.

Thus, he begins to operate in a fashion that is void of emotional expression. This is a survival technique. This would only be further emphasised, if the young man’s father also insisted that the boy expressing any grief over his treatment, may be acting in a way that is out of accordance with what it means to be a man – therefore, what it means to be acceptable.

Similarly, a young woman who is subject to an emotionally distant, cold, or unavailable father, may find herself feeling isolated, and ‘faulty’, from this lack of male approval, and attention, and may therefore grow to become overly dependent, and reliant upon male attention, an attempt by her subconscious mind to make peace with her earlier experiences. As a result of this, she is likely to find herself in a string of failed relationships, laced with co-dependency, and men who sense her desperation, and happily exploit its position.

Symptoms of somebody who has been affected by childhood abuse in adulthood.

  • Extremely withdrawn, appearing overly shy, introverted, or distracted, engaging in careless day dream.
  • An inability to concentrate for long periods of time, poor memory and directive skills, (this is because parts of the brain literally shrink, failed to develop coherently, and experience severe confusion).
  • ADHD – or a similar manifest behavioural affliction that causes one to outwardly seek attention, and recognition – even if this is negative attention.
  • Overly aggressive – failing to access rationalisation, or impulse control.
  • Difficulty with closeness, intimacy, perhaps pertaining to sexual intimacy, (erotophobia) or a string of promiscuous/unfaithful relations.
  • Compulsive lying, multi personality disorder, a desire for one to seem more flamboyant, and achieved than they truly are, (in order to compensate for intense feelings of inferiority).
  • Hypersensitivity to criticism (either because of a lack of belief in self already existing, or manifesting from a place of requiring consistent praise, to appease the false ego),
  • An inability to allow others enough access into ones internal world, reluctance to open up to others emotionally, desire to separate from emotionally demanding situations, lack of commitment to anything that requires lengthy work.

 

 

I highly recommend that anybody who recognises these traits within themselves, or identifies with my article in some way, seek some sort of professional advice, and help as soon as possible. If you are unsure about what methods are available to you, then i would be happy to assist you with that.

To discuss any empath topics with me during a one on one reading, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk to enquire about my prices and services.

 

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