NEW moon in Scorpio, Themes of death & loss; The mother wound, the womb,depths of darkness, and what the next few days can teach us..

new-moon-scorpio

In Numerology, the number 10 holds very special, and divine weight. This is the number of the all that is. God. The beginning (1), and the end (0). The masculine (1), and the feminine (0). The feminine is the darkness, the absence of light – which is also very much representative of Scorpio energy, which is all about this darkness. It is the masculine energy that brings to us the desire to create (sperm), change in our lives, the clarity, and understanding of what it is that we must do. But before the masculine principle comes through,  we need to wipe the slate ENTIRELY clean, get down to the 0, the nothingness, the silence, the emptiness, the pain.

Scorpion energy rules darkness, depth, and death. If you know any Scorpios, then you  may notice that underneath their natural charismatic persona, lies a brooding, often moody, and contemplative persona. Scorpio takes us very far into the darkness – the darkness of the womb. In the womb, we are submerged in both complete darkness, and silence, yet it is the most peaceful, most connected space for us to dwell. This very feminine energy is all about creation – what we can create from the bottom up, from the point of nothing – we may gain everything. 

The journey that we make through the birth canal, is a very traumatic one indeed. All that we have to do is think about the trauma of childbirth. The blood, the tears, the pain. Yet this is a shamanic initiation for both mother, and child. Especially the mother – who now takes on a new role of the protector, who’s emotions, intuition, and ability to love all expand. She becomes God. The ultimate creator, and watches over her child, the way the divine admires his/her own creations. The child is ripped from their comfort zone. This particular new moon, and the entire month in general have revolved around revisiting these themes of past trauma – the first ever trauma. Specifically in association with any trauma templates that have been passed down to us through the mother. This includes any abandonment by our mothers, or abandonment consciousness that is passed down to us from our mothers. This can even include a mother who was abandoned by parents, or abandoned by your father. 

Our childhood wounds are triggered heavily, possibly with words, situations, (especially in love), or memories that seem to return to us in the strangest ways, at the strangest of times. We are asked to view just how much our adult-life is influenced and impacted by our childhood experiences, particularly what our parents, and our childhoods taught us to believe about ourselves, and the world. 

Everything is affected by what we have endured in the past. Scorpio is the ultimate death. Disappearing into the darkness, and surrendering to our deepest fears. You may notice that this month in particular you may have been even more contemplative that usual – diving to a place within your mind, that only seemed to take you further into your mind. However this was not escape, this was reevaluation and revelation. 

When you are in this state – of stillness, and darkness, like I mentioned before, answers just come to you effortlessly, because you are not searching for anything in particular – you were just allowing your mind to roam, and roam it did.

The fear of being out there – out in the darkness, the abyss, with no safety, no comfort, no mother. Many who identify with the healer template have specific wounds associated with the mother//feminine energy – typically an imbalance of some sort, or a power struggle that exists internally e.g masculine vs feminine, and this often manifests within our relationships, e.g poor relationship quality. 

Scorpio brings all of these themes to the surface, and all of this information is invited to sit with us, ALL at once. This is absolutely no time to shy away from the lies that you have told yourself in order to control your urges to just fall apart. You HAVE to fall apart. Something tells me, that you have had this false notion of control, or ‘strength’ for far too long. 

Which brings me onto another theme of Scorpio energies. Control, is a HUGE factor for many of those carrying the energy of Scorpio. There is a lot of conflict between what the mind says, and what they feel intuitively, and as such, battles between what we know and can perceive in this 3d world, and the intangible things that we may KNOW, but cannot prove are plaguing us… 

For this reason, our lack of REAL, substantial control in situations will likely be triggered. The desire to control external events indicates a fear, a deep intense fear of things falling apart – as they always have, or previously have done. We can learn through situations arising at this time, that the desire to control comes ultimately through fear. Fear of loss. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being enough. Where does that emotion come from? What first made you feel that you were unworthy? And how true is it? How long will you carry this thorn? Ofcourse, it is time for burial, and that is where the death part of Scorpio comes in..

It is time to adorn yourself. Emotionally, mentally, and physically – with the thoughts, and the things that offer you fulfillment. Scorpio is all about the INNER world, it is time to work from inside, out. Only internally can you fix what is broken. Heal the mother wound. Whatever was broken inside of her, was gifted to you also. Yes – gifted. So that you could transmute these experiences. If your mother was repressed, then live a life of freedom.. If she was neglected, or abandoned, then make a CONSCIOUS habit of not abandoning yourself. Release the self blame. You could not control what happened then. There is NO control, only the illusion thereof.

The desire to have somebody CONSTANTLY prove to us that they will not abandon us, and that we are worthy of love can cause us to behave in less than desirable ways. This is also one of the ways in which we relive our trauma, because actually behaving like this, and trying to avoid this, is likely to push others away. Scorpio is very much led by this internal power struggle, and being persecuted; either for having too much power, or not having enough. The struggle of the feminine archetype. 

Too much power? And she is hunted, and persecuted, and ridiculed – to the point that her power is removed. And then? She is left defenseless. In this defenseless state? She either develops victim consciousness, or she swears never to allow herself to be vulnerable again. She as in – the feminine, not necessarily a woman!

As Scorpio also rules themes of sexuality, we are asked to see how sexuality can be used for both spiritual, and liberation purposes. Sex has been used to abuse power, and control for a long time – especially where the divine feminine is concerned. However, in metaphysics, we know that sex is healing – the vagina is healing – the woman is healing, and all this healing occurs within (the yoni), in the darkness, (the womb), so the very essence of feminine sexuality, is transmutation. Feeling sexually charged, and liberated, is actually when the divine feminine as at her best, and if she is to create the change in a new world, then she will need to be armed with some of this knowledge! This power of hers threatens the faithless, and the powerless, and has done so for many centuries, but that is no reason for her to back down now! Rather, it is time to rise up.

Persecution consciousness must be abandoned now. And the masculine needs to learn – that just because the feminine has all of these wonderful gifts, and is captivating, and sensual in this way; does not mean that she will abandon him, or leave him, as he so fears. This irrational fear may cause him to try to control the women around him, and in his life, because he fears the primal archetype  of Eve; who once deceived him in the garden of Eden, and then was exiled – leaving him feeling both betrayed, and wounded. For a long time, we thought that the feminine had the greatest of abandonment issues – but rather, it has always existed as the masculine. He just needed to go inside, (yes pun intended), to figure this all out..

 

Happy healing, my sacred beings ~

© Seek Cindy.

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Stepping out into the real world.

It is a funny thing – to have been alive for so long, yet not truly living. 

I think of my previous relationship – how scary & suffocating it is that I almost lost myself in something that was so toxic & scary & detrimental for me. And the nightmares that I often have about still being back in that place.

It’s pretty painful & awkward; because sometimes when you are in a toxic relationship – whether energetically, emotionally, physically, or psychologically, you find yourself alone – without anybody to hold your hand, or help you to see the true detriment of your ways.

I find that when you are an ‘adult’ as such in a toxic relationship, especially if this relationship is non physically abusive, for the most part, everybody will just leave you to it.. And I do not know if I particularly blame them either.

Your friends & family will stick in a few words about how you may be acting differently, may have changed & how you probably are too good for this person, (whatever that means), but they will never understand the psychological implications behind it, the trauma bonding, the fact that it is not so much your conscious awareness that chooses to see you placed in this position, but rather your subconscious manifestations & projections of displacement..

Even when you break free from this type of entanglement – even when you try to soar & your feet literally lift up from the ground, you will still be clutched, & the tips of your toes will be tugged back downwards toward the ground, by the seemingly unbearable weight of sorrow, regret, loneliness, and guilt.

I call it – relationship based PTSD. Nobody ever fully knows how deeply you wound yourself into this relationship. Because they do not recognise how far your inner child’s PTSD stretches, or how far co-dependency wove itself to be an intrinsic part of your psyche.

So, you float on – you try to live your life again. Friends congratulate you about how much happier you are seeming these days, how much brighter your smile is, & whilst it is all true, it does not take away from the fact that you are still, several months later, shaken by the entire encounter – and still just trying to find your self. Claw yourself – from the rubble of the parts of you that are left, un/given to the dependent dynamics of the former relationship.

Who are you now? You find yourself asking. You are no longer the girl who relies on somebody else for everything, even company; so honestly, who are you now?

The beauty of this question is; this is your answer to decide. You are literally in the process of creation & can become anything that you would like to become. The you that would make your childhood you most proud.

You just have to plunge yourself into the darkness from time to time – to fully make sense of why this situation had to happen to you, because trust me, there IS a reason.

And you will find your flow at the moment, though you may be much the headless chicken now — you will find your know how, after slipping up & tripping & getting it wrong oh maybe a few hundred times!

Just take your time. Nobody has to understand it, but you.

Nobody else endured it, but you.
Seek Cindy 2016 ©
To book an appointment with me to discuss the type of toxic entrapment mentioned here, or the recovery associated with it, please send an email to cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk with the tag line – ‘help’.

The fallacy of healing.

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For those of us who have endured any type of deeply entrenched psychological, physical, emotional, or energetic trauma at some point in our lives, it is fair to say that we will always be ‘altered’ in some way. To be altered does not necessarily mean to remain faulty, as we are sometimes perceived as, as we battle with the after effects of trauma; depression, anxiety, insomnia, reclusiveness, in-expression, or otherwise.

To always be altered simply means that we will belong to a different category of people throughout our lives. A category of people who are perhaps more careful with their words, savour experiences a little longer, love a little harder, and bruise a little easier. But this should not always be looked at as an ailment. So, we are highly observant, so, we may  be a little too highly observant, and we may actually make mountains out of mole hills sometimes for the way that we search so deeply into things.

Can it not be said that we are gifted with divine vision? The ability to pick the ordinary  apart, and in it find something rather extraordinary? Well, truth be told, we are never exactly going to be normal, no matter how hard we try, no matter how many smiles we adorn, no matter how many normal people we can fool within a set time frame..

At the end of the day, once we return to our place of solitude, we will once again be these super sensitive souls, who hold on to our analytical, and intellectual ability as if our life depends on it. Likely, we have spent a lot of time alone, whether intentionally, or unintentionally, and we are rather attached to the way that things exist within our minds, and the perceptions that we hold about the way that the world exists.

This can be our ally, providing us with deep, introspective, philosophical, and highly perceptive insight into life’s greatest mysteries, but it can also render us too rigid, unwilling to accept new information that comes our way, or judging new situations, by old outcomes, and experiences.

I do not say that we cannot heal. However, I say  that healing can be difficult unless we are willing to release some of the perceptions that we have locked and bolted tightly away within our minds. For instance, the perception that somebody will always hurt us, or that somebody is always trying to insult, offend or undermine us.

Sure, perhaps for a lot of our lives, whilst we have shrunk ourselves, and played the victim, indeed others have latched on to this and exploited our lack of self esteem, but things do not always have to be this way. Not everything that somebody says is somehow intended to bring you down, or disarm you in some way.

Learn to separate constructive criticism, and caring advice, from belittling, and manipulation. However, if you have a gut instinct, (and not just an ego instinct), go with it.

It has taken me a long time to arrive at a place where I can let go of some of my anger, suspicion, and hostility, and hear what others around me have to say, truly HEARING them, and not just listening to the bits and pieces that I am searching for. If i recognise within myself an insatiable spirit, that just wants to be right, or just wants to be wounded, I separate myself from the conversation, and the situation, and give myself some time to view things from all perspectives.

However, some people may say that because I can still be triggered in old ways, I have not fully healed. And is this true?

Well, yes, and no..

In actual fact, I conceive that I have healed because I have a fully developed understanding, and acknowledgment of my shadow self – the part of myself that craves attachment to pain, and drama.. I am able to recognise almost instantaneously when I am acting from a place of the shadow, and pull myself back from this, and approach things from a different angle, or, if worst comes to worst, I am not afraid of damage control – being open, and honest about where I went wrong, and expressing my apologies. It is important to be honest when we make mistakes, or express moods, and  outbursts that can be energetically draining to others.

However, I view healing as something of a journey, rather than a destination, as I am constantly learning, unlearning, relearning, programming, and de programming parts of myself. Every day that passes me by, I learn more about myself. Honestly, especially within the past few days, I almost feel as if everyday is a quickening, a chance for redemption, and sweet revelation, and it is.

You cannot run away from the path of healing. Even when you claim to be fully healed, you will learn next week of something that still triggers you, of something that you have not yet fully dealt with, of something that you have carried through your childhood memories with you. The fallacy of healing is that it happens all at once, because the truth is, it does not.

Healing is truly a journey, and I do not believe that you ever stop unravelling parts of yourself in a quest to retrieve your lost soul fragments, and neither should you feel like any less of a warrior because you are not emotionally dead inside.

Our deepest sensitivities are our super powers. They are what grant us the ability to produce the potent art that we do, to create the love stories that only we could know.

Edgar Allen Poe was severely depressed, he would also go down as one of the greatest, and most intricate poets in history..

It is no secret that Carl Jung explored so deeply the concept of the shadow self, and owning one’s darkness, so could it be that he too fell into the same fate that plagues so many great, and wondrous minds?

There is something to be said about creative talent, and psychological affliction, and this is not me in anyway whatsoever glorifying mental illness. Because to be afflicted with the spirits of self doubt, negative thoughts, and traumatic memories is absolutely no gift. But, it is what is within us, even beyond all of our pain and suffering that is a gift.

I cannot say for certain what came first, the illness, or the passion – but I can say that in a cruel twist of fate, so cliche of the divine nature of balance, the two are intrinsically linked. And we have to do what we have to do. We cannot say that we wish to shut our eyes, and no longer receive intuition, inspiration, or beauty, so how can we say that we will away the things that push us to create, to excel, to destroy, and to become?

Do not allow people to make you feel guilty for mourning. You may experience your best day today, and crash once again tomorrow, this does not mean that you are not healing – this simply means that you are collapsing into your self, learning more about yourself, and how to make peace with your psyche. It is the struggle up against yourself to listen to your demons, being ever so compassionate with them, asking them, ‘What is it that you want now?’

Happy healing my sacred beings ~

To contact me to receive a reading, or some type of therapeutic support, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk to discuss consultations.

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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-distribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

Forgive yourself once more; How making a mistake does not automatically signify regression.

I have found that on the journey of healing, and self progression, a lot of us tend to be very hard on ourselves, and the choices that we make.

We often become so one dimensional in our desperate attempts to not repeat the same actions of the past, and to instantly view immediate results of our new found awareness, that we fail to be compassionate toward ourselves, and remember that we are still on a journey. We want to be better than we were before, we want to ensure that we do not allow ourselves to slip beneath our own radars, so we become self dictators in a sense, offering strict regimes to what is, and what is not, allowed.

We have to remember that the ultimate factor in the journey of healing is self compassion, self understanding, and self love. Where does self love fit in whilst you are constantly berating yourself for not doing something as perfectly as the ‘new you’, should do? The old you is not completely dead yet, do not forget that, so it is normal, expected even for you to experience low moments, moments where you may still be acting out of ego, unresolved pain, or wounds of the past.

What you absolutely must remember also, is that all of the actions associated with your lower self, that you are so desperate to get rid of, are actually all still coming from a place of unhealed pain, the scared, yet sacred inner child within you, who has already had their fair share of trauma, and blame, and does not need any more from you.

So, you may not be as perfect as the self declared righteous spiritual gurus on the internet. Who cares? Even they are not as righteous, and holier than thou as they appear to be.

I myself, have conjured quite the image of being the spiritual spokesperson, and I want to admit that, regardless of this, I do still battle my way through complex trauma flare ups, and I do still become increasingly overwhelmed in some public settings. The truth of the matter is, there is no quick fix.

And I try to offer this compassionate hand during my readings, yes, I say, ‘you do need to work on self love, and you do need to face issues of conflict from the past’, and this will be painful, and this will take some time, and no, this is not going to magically happen when you click your fingers.

The entire process of healing is a journey, and not a destination, so please do not be put off if you think that you are regressing, of if you still exhibit behaviours associated with a perceived lesser version of yourself.

Let us be honest, life gets tough, INCREDIBLY tough. Let us be honest, life gets painful, INCREDIBLY painful. This is something that most self help gurus will not tell you, for fear of losing potential clientèle. If they paint life as consistently hippy dippy, and eerily dreamy, you will want to purchase whatever anecdote that they are claiming offers this sort of lucid state.

But this is wrong. This is not what healing is about. Yes, there is going to be what you may consider, ‘regression’, for a large part of the journey, this is because nobody is  perfect, and these behaviours, and these wounds were not formed over night, so why on earth would they be banished over night?

We live in a hyper critical, and judgemental society, and social media does not exactly serve to make it any better. It is so easy to fall into a trap of comparing yourself to other’s, their lives, and their experiences, but one must remember, that everybody’s life consists of timelines – -timelines of ups, timelines of downs, and step, by step movement.

If your life has remained seemingly the same for years on end, then this is an issue that you need to identify with, within yourself. Because life does get down sometimes, ofcourse it does, and this is apart of the ebb, and flow, but life also gets up, and your life should be somewhat a mediumship, of these two states of existence.

Just because you witness somebody on social media who appears to have the exact life that you would desire, does not mean that this person has not been hit with their own set of downs in life, or that they will never meet a period of disappointment at another interval in their life.

It is not about how many times you fall, it is not about how difficult life gets, it is all about the ways in which you adjust to these difficulties that life presents.

If you suffer from a complex form of trauma, persistent depression, anxiety, or post traumatic stress disorder, then please be more than patient with yourself. Do not hold yourself up in accordance to society’s standards, and themes, most of society, is not suffering outwardly with these conditions, so of-course their achievements, abilities, and experiences will be vastly different from  your own.

Progress is a very intimate, and subjective experience.

 

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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

The dark side of spirituality..

shadow

 

Alot of meta-physicians, and energy workers tend to focus on ‘the light’, and ‘positivity’ within their brand of teaching, and often stray away from the topics that constitute to one needing to fathom light, and positivity.

In one particular brand of shamanism, a person cannot become an initiate until they have graduated from a certain level/depth of suffering.
In other spiritual philosophies, we call this, ‘the dark night of the soul’.

This is an intense period right before the break through of spiritual elevation and evolution, and can last any time in-between a few days, a few months, and a few years.
It all depends on the ability of the initiate to travel deeply into their own unconscious darkness, and retrieve the lost fragments of their soul.
In other words, to heal, to understand, and the revive an anecdote for healing, to be shared with the rest of the community.

I believe that i endured this same period when I was going through what i would call the most intense moments of my depression.
What felt like depression, and was actually described as such by Western medics, was in my now opinion, the offset of a triggering.
A spiritual triggering, that could no longer cope with my blatant disregard of my spiritual abilities.

I had also absorbed much of the energy of my community, family, and society, which was associated with stagnant, pollutant, and toxic energies.
All of this boiling to the brink inside of me caused something similar to a psychological break down.
I did not feel at home in my own body, for i was not.
I had company.
I was being invaded.

Some people may refer to this as dark spirits/dark energy.
And one night in-fact, when my cousin who is a regular attendant of the Christian church came to check how i was doing, she actually brought a ministry along with her, who did declare that i was suffering from some sort of ‘possession’.
Though not the type that you see perhaps on ‘The Amityville horror’, or, ‘The conjuring’..

 

 

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© 2016

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Childhood – Emotional/psychological abuse, and the effects that it leaves.

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Alot of people find emotional abuse, and psychological abuse, difficult to digest, or hard to diagnose. This is because, unlike physical abuse, there is no outward manifestation, or symptoms that can be directly traced back to a cause.

Because of this, sadly, so many children go from school to home, from home, to school, keeping within them the burdensome secret, of the double life, and the trauma that they must regularly endure.

This type  of abuse is so subtle, and insidious, that it is possible that even the child in question, does not realise that they are being abused, or harmed. They may simply perceive that they have a strict, parent, or parents, and therefore internalise the abuse to be a result of something that they are doing, and that they have done.

The internalisation of this blame is incredibly dangerous, because it can off-set a cycle of the child learning to blame themselves for abuse, (that is usually perpetuated later in life), and also to constantly try to modify their behaviours, and their impulses in order not to receive any further abuse.

‘One study has suggested that victims of childhood physical abuse have a 40% chance of being diagnosed with major depressive disorder at some stage in their life and a 30% chance of being diagnosed with a disruptive behaviour disorder’.

Have you ever graced the presence of somebody who almost shrinks into themselves. Who holds a posture, a position, and a meek voice, that screams of self consciousness, and hyper vigilance. Well, this was me. And this is also the individual who is very careful, about their movements, and about their words, because they have been taught that to put a wrong foot out of place, or to cause yourself to become ‘too noticed’, ‘too enlarged’, offers them the risk of being re-abused.

This individual may go through their entire life feeling as if they have to walk in the shadows, or manipulate their behaviours in order to appear as less of a threat.

In my observation, i have witnessed there to be two separate manifestations of somebody who suffers from emotional/psychological abuse, or some type of abandonment/neglect/rejection, earlier on in childhood.

Despite what new-ageism, and alternative lifestyles preach, every child does need to be grow, and be nurtured under the guidance of a strong, secure, consistent, and stable/balanced house hold. It is very important for children to have access to a blend of both masculine, and feminine energies, as the feminine energy, (typically, but not always the mother), enriches them with love, comfort, and forgiveness, whilst the masculine energy, (typically, but not always the father), instils order, protection, safety, and strength within them.

This does not have to exist as a part of a nuclear family dynamic, with one, mother and one father, if this type of set up is inaccessible, for a variety of reasons. This could be alternated, with the presence of extended family members, or even care givers, standing in to fulfil these roles.

In Africa, there is a congregation of an extended family, wherein aunties, uncles, parents, and grandparents are likely to share one compound, and raise children as a community, within a tight, supported, and watchful network.

This by far, has to be one of my favourite methods of up-bringing. Although this can not be so easily maintained as a part of western living, ideally, it is a beautiful practice, regardless. It also goes to show that the development of each individual is not only reflective of their community, but also reflective of their level of involvement within the individual’s life.

Can we blame ‘bad’ people, for being ‘bad’ people?

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There is an association between childhood abuse and the risk of suicidal behaviour. One study found that a history of physical abuse increases the odds of attempting suicide by almost 5 times, while a history of emotional abuse may increase the odds of a suicide attempt by more than 12 times

And if so, must we not condemn their entire community, and the parents whom raised them?

I believe in redemption, to a certain extent. After all, many of the most viscous, unpleasant, and sociopathic people that i have met throughout the course of my life, have all appeared to have suffered some sort of core wounding in childhood. A wound that only seemed to grow overtime, and manifest as their shadow self, blocking them from their own light.

It is the subconscious, and the unconscious that rules their actions, their lack of empathy, that also remains buried below the consciousness. Empathy opens the door way for emotional openness, and vulnerability. It is likely that many of these people have had to intensely suppress, and deny their empathy, in order to cope with their level of trauma, or abuse more effectively.

Let’s say, for instance, there is a young man who is regularly physically, and verbally abused by his father over a recurring period of time. Even if this young man is initially highly sensitive, and possesses an innocent, and a naive approach to life, sooner or later, in order to protect himself, his subconscious mind will ask him to numb himself. Numb himself to the insults that he receives, and numb himself from the expectancy of consistent love, empathy, or remorse from his father.

Thus, he begins to operate in a fashion that is void of emotional expression. This is a survival technique. This would only be further emphasised, if the young man’s father also insisted that the boy expressing any grief over his treatment, may be acting in a way that is out of accordance with what it means to be a man – therefore, what it means to be acceptable.

Similarly, a young woman who is subject to an emotionally distant, cold, or unavailable father, may find herself feeling isolated, and ‘faulty’, from this lack of male approval, and attention, and may therefore grow to become overly dependent, and reliant upon male attention, an attempt by her subconscious mind to make peace with her earlier experiences. As a result of this, she is likely to find herself in a string of failed relationships, laced with co-dependency, and men who sense her desperation, and happily exploit its position.

Symptoms of somebody who has been affected by childhood abuse in adulthood.

  • Extremely withdrawn, appearing overly shy, introverted, or distracted, engaging in careless day dream.
  • An inability to concentrate for long periods of time, poor memory and directive skills, (this is because parts of the brain literally shrink, failed to develop coherently, and experience severe confusion).
  • ADHD – or a similar manifest behavioural affliction that causes one to outwardly seek attention, and recognition – even if this is negative attention.
  • Overly aggressive – failing to access rationalisation, or impulse control.
  • Difficulty with closeness, intimacy, perhaps pertaining to sexual intimacy, (erotophobia) or a string of promiscuous/unfaithful relations.
  • Compulsive lying, multi personality disorder, a desire for one to seem more flamboyant, and achieved than they truly are, (in order to compensate for intense feelings of inferiority).
  • Hypersensitivity to criticism (either because of a lack of belief in self already existing, or manifesting from a place of requiring consistent praise, to appease the false ego),
  • An inability to allow others enough access into ones internal world, reluctance to open up to others emotionally, desire to separate from emotionally demanding situations, lack of commitment to anything that requires lengthy work.

 

 

I highly recommend that anybody who recognises these traits within themselves, or identifies with my article in some way, seek some sort of professional advice, and help as soon as possible. If you are unsure about what methods are available to you, then i would be happy to assist you with that.

To discuss any empath topics with me during a one on one reading, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk to enquire about my prices and services.

 

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  © Seek Cindy 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-distribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.
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Do you hate him? Because i, can not..

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As much as i wish to hate the narcissistic man, a part of me just cannot bring myself to loathe him in the ways that i should. A part of me sympathises with him, with a deep part of his pain that he cannot, and has not seemed to make peace with, for he knows not how.

In feeling, and thinking that his masculinity is reliant upon his denial of the issues that he has faced upon his life, he has become a mirror of his own darkness, destined to walk this earth carrying with him the very thing that he despises.

For within him, i see the empath, the empath who never got to be an empath because we belong to a society that emotionally stunts, and persecutes men. In not becoming the empath, he instead becomes the socipath, unable to heal his own pain, or even feel it in the ways that he should..Instead suppressing it, and allowing it to grow into poison.

He is cruel to the world, because he is cruel to himself.

He shows no compassion, because he has been shown none.

 

 

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Cindy Anneh-bu

© Seek Cindy 2016
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