The structural break down of the family, modern day feminism, television, hip hop, and the psychology of culture.

Have you ever noticed how the structure of the family is broken down, consistently, and subliminally before our very eyes?
Look at most of the television shows that are available to us now. How many propose the narrative of a happy and secure family network? I am not talking about alienating, or ignoring the fact that even couples, and married people who are happy have the occasional arguments, and disagreements, but I mean a family dynamic in which both partners actually work at cultivating consistency.

And how about the shows that popular culture currently can not get enough of. ‘Reality’ TV shows, that are about as realistic and proportional to our lives as dinosaurs, a particular one that springs to mind is, ‘love and hip hop’.

Now frankly, I haven’t really had the chance to sit down and watch it myself, (which is probably extremely dangerous to proceed to talk about in journalism world, but anyway), from what I have heard, this is all about a show of cliches and stereotypes. The sassy black woman, who appears not to take any ‘bs’, Is Fiercely ‘independent’, (boarder line obnoxious), and strong, ‘portrayed as, irrationally angry’.

Whilst it features the stereotypical black male, as propagated by the main media outlets, suffering from a serious case of baby boy-ism, (a psychological condition that I have coined relating to the male psyche’s reluctance to accept his passing of age, and with this the coming of responsibilities, including reliability).

So the whole show spells train wreck to me, and as somebody who has had to take years to mentally decolonize from layers of the stereotypes, and subliminal programming of television, I have every idea how dangerous these perceptions and stereotypes are, and can be..

You see, it is not necessary what they represent, as it is the ways that they glorify what they represent.

The dawn of the divine feminine rising is upon us. And I believe that those in power knew very well that this time would come, so as they do, they tried their best to manipulate these energies, so even when they did arrive, they would be interpreted in a way that was not beneficial, or natural to the masses.

Example – main stream ‘feminism’.

Now, I place the term feminism in quotes here, because I am no longer sure of exactly what feminism is. Since arriving as a mass, sub movement, (to the assumed movement outside of the world of social media), the word feminism has taken on several sub denominations, and has become more of a cultural shift, than an actual movement.

Yes, many women everywhere are now completely taking charge of their bodies, of their rights for expression, and their desires to not only be seen, but heard.

But what exactly is the message that they are conveying?

Is it equality of a social, hirearchal, and cultural spectrum?

Well, I believe that it should be..

Or is it a ray of hurled abusive slogans, and the aggressive use of the female body to make some sort of statement about sexuality and power, that is often missed by the presence of faux pro-feminist men who are really just perverse undercovers, or by the next generation of impressionable young women who think that baring the flesh is the best way to claim your feminine sexual power.

Sure, in the eyes of many that is one way to view it. And after several thousands of years of oppression, perhaps it is even quite understandable that the femme wants to come back out in this way.

But where are the female empowerers who teach women to claim back their sexual power using the psychological reconstruction of the mind? And not just the image of the flesh. As sexual malice, and sexism is psychological, and in – fact not of the flesh at all.

Let’s face it, the sexualisation of the female body is not only engrained in a sexist society, but is also engrained in biology. Shouldn’t the focus be on the matters that truly silence a woman’s divine essence? Such as those who have been sexually abused or manipulated. Some of whom no longer have the comfort within their own body to bare themselves in the name of self empowerment. And even if they did, wouldn’t this sort of take away from the whole, ‘my body is mine, and I am taking it back’ theory?

Sexual passive aggression, which essentially this is, is not to be mistaken for sexual empowerment. There is a clear difference. 

So how does this relate to the break down of the family?

Ah yes, so traditionally women have been the home, and the peace makers, keeping everything together – some may argue that marriage even disadvantaged them in this way, and is no longer necessary, but human beings are social animals, we thrive on our ability to be able to build, and sustain stable communities. It is imperative for the survival of man kind. So what does this mean for man kind?

Sexual liberation is fantastic, it means the potential for  kundalini awakening, and healing. But what about when it is used to prove a point? That, ‘I can do exactly as men do’. ‘ I can adopt a masculine approach, and my inability for submission is strength’.

Now, let us not get me wrong, submission is healthy and necessary by both males and females in any Union, but once again, biologically, men are the hunters, and the chasers, and women tend to surrender to those who they deem a fit, and suitable mate. If the traditionally accepting, and surrendering counterpart refuses to submit, then who teaches the man to?

Who leads who?

Let’s talk about hip hop culture, which is now pretty much ‘THE culture’, and has possibly the largest influence on the societal and cultural distinctions of the entire world. It is popular culture, and thus manifests itself in various forms. It is the most profitable market as it stands, because it has become the definitive voice for what is cool, and what isn’t.

How does hip hop culture degrade the sanctity of the family?

What family? Since hip hop itself has cashed in on its own materialistic profitability, it’s message has slowly transformed from political, social, and cultural activism and education, to social, cultural, and mental annihilation, indoctrinating the youth with messages of superficiality, promiscuity, a disrespect for women, and a hazardous hyper masculinity!

Even if these men are going back home to their wives every night, by the time that they have finished recording, and airing their boisterous lyrics, much of the damage has already been done! And they become a daily, weekly chant for young impressionable minds who very often do not have other male remodels to shape, and influence their beings. Thus, the powerful effects of music, become self explanatory, and the narrative of these songs, become the narratives of their lives.

Hypermasculinity knows nothing of submission. In-fact hyper masculinity  is largely in relation to, and in fact, to blame for the version of main stream feminism that also refuses to submit! It is a classic game of tit for tat. And no side shall ever successfully win, until they realise that the resolution lies with integration, and not segregation.

The hyper masculine man refuses to take on the liberal woman, whilst the liberal woman refuses to accept everything that the hyper masculine man stands for – yet they are both fairly psychologically disturbed!

This may come as a surprise to some, but due to my own observations, those who have such an intense desire to be free from control and restriction, and use such overt means, are still carrying with them the pain, and the bitterness of times where they have felt, and have been powerless. In this instance, this movement is not based on healing, or taking charge, and is instead based on the consistent triggering of an unhealed wound.

Much is similar of those suffering from hyper masculinity. The majority are also the product of a severely old fashioned, patriarchal, emotionally submissive environment where they were taught to believe that emotions associated with women, and femininity were not allowed, or perceived as weaknesses, which is incredibly dangerous to the human psyche! We all feel pain, and we should all be allowed to access, and express that pain.

A society that raises men to believe that certain emotions are feminine, and inherently weak, is a society that teaches men that women’s emotions are invaluable, invalid, inferior, and a liability.

Let’s not forget to mention the subtle jokes, and hints that always seem to creep their way into films, media, and sitcoms. The stereotypes that marriage is one huge unhappy experience, that married people no longer make love, and that this unhappiness leads inevitably to infidelity.

Marriage is not a death sentence. Love is not a death sentence. The break down of the family network leaves everybody far more suceptible and vulnerable to separation/division tactics, and also to the subtle insecurities projected of abandonment, and neglect, that are already so deeply embedded into the consciousnesses of man.

Perhaps soon, the ideal family template will be a thing of the past altogether. Children will no longer be born into the sanctity of a loving mother and father’s bond, who teach them not only what love is, and how to love, but that they are worthy of love itself, by default. 

Statistics show that the implementation of a healthy family structure at a young age, helps in developing future adults who know how to build healthy, and successful community networks, whilst thriving as an active member of their own societies.

We are already witnessing hook up culture take precedence over relationships, the idea of monogamy being questioned, (severely), and the topic of having a ‘side’ partner, weaned slowly, strategically, and satirically into everyday casual acceptance .

Cindy Anneh-bu © 2015

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