It was she..

  
It was my mother who saved me when I was drowning, and dying at the hands of my first true love loss.

It was not my father who sat me down, and explained to me the nuisance of men, and their fragile indecisiveness.

It was my mother who sat with me as I cried, and watched over me.

It was my mother who knew, because she knew all too well the sting of a man who promises you Spring, and then when winter leaves does not grant you anything..

It was not my father who sat in place of the man who had left me and told me that I was still full of grace, and I still had him in the face of all and any ill fate.

It was my mother who awoke from her sleep, and climbed down a full flight of stares to stare at me alarmingly as my face welled up with sorrow.

Though it was my greatest woe,

It was my mother’s heart that broke..

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

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There is nothing too wrong with you..

  

There is nothing too wrong with you..

You are not a bad man. Not a particularly sad man. And you are not a prude. Hardly ever rude, and I have not found several things wrong with you.. Yet still, you are not the one.

There is little love in my bones for you. I grow comfortable around you when you are silent, and your body breathes beside me, and I am allowed to do what it is that I do best, which is to lay in silence. But when you speak, when you part your lips, and open your beak, my heart thumps a thousand beats, because your breath, nor your tongue, speaks like his..

I do not want to kiss you wildly in the rain at 3am.. There are better things that I could do with my time, such as reading novels with my feet perched up on my window sill. Yet still, I fold into you, not every night, but from time, to time, because I am ever so lonely when my eyes hit the light.

I fell in love with a remarkable man, but he did not shove his heart into my palms, he kept it ever so safely, wrapped over so neatly, and tucked away into childhood jewellery boxes. And so I find myself here, with you, heart beating at 100mph, not from passion, not from love, but from that gnawing feeling.. That I am not where I am supposed to be. And if I stay? I may just become too engulfed, trapped, and never to be free..

My heart bleeds for the women, not in love, not in lust..but longing for company. 

© 2016
All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

Instagram – @spiritualpoetess_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk

Full moon in Leo! Our first full moon of the year, journey to self empowerment, twin flames, what it means, and what we have all been feeling. 

  

Hey guys! I am so excited to be back with you all, for another year, sharing all of my findings, and uniting with you, in spiritual fire!

Yes, fire, and heat, because that is all that our glorious FIRST full moon of the year will be focusing on this month.

Okay, so before I start, let me just give you all a little bit of information, about our bright, and blazing zodiac Leo! 

Leo is an absolutely brilliant zodiac to begin the first full moon of the year with, and I am so excited that in the first month, we were greeted with the energy of Capricorn, and now, the equally stormy energy of Leo! This is definitely indicative of the fact that this year (numerological year of the number 9), is taking absolutely no breaks in propelling us toward self actualisation, and our ultimate best!

This is definitely not the year of sitting around, and feeling sorry for ourselves, oh no, this is the year of fighting, of leadership, of standing up, and standing out!

Leo is often referred to as Leo, the lion, and this is because of everything that the zodiac of Leo represents. Strength, leadership, security, and empowerment.

When we think of the lion, we think of an animal that is in charge of their territory, seemingly fearless, whilst still remaining true to its loyalties, of family gathering, and responsibilities to the work, and home, in the case of the lion, ‘hunting’, going after what you want, and ensuring that this benefits not only you, but the community that you are providing for.

In this instance, this moon is all about creativity, self empowerment, and truth! How does our creativity serve those around us? How is our creativity fitting in with our truth? Are we digging deep enough, and offering the most authentic version of ourselves? Are we using our pain to motivate us? Or, are we still using our pain as an excuse to remain flaccid, dormant, and inactive!

Sweetheart, this year, is not the spoon feeder! It will not allow us to delve so deeply into our wounds, that we remain demotivated in the same ways that last year allowed us to. Last year was very much about the welcoming, and re-integration of feminine energies, whereas this year, is all about the integration of masculine energy, and realising how this energy can be our friend, and actually propel us toward our highest heights.

Now, this is very important within the twin flame setting, especially for the female twin flames who usually happen to also be the stayers. It is important to challenge your relationship with men, and the ways in which you view men, especially the twin flame women who have estranged ,or strained relationships with their fathers. Healing this blockage, will offer you entirely new perspective on the twin flame union, especially your own.

Sure, masculine energy can seem like a pain. Especially if it is hyper masculine. But masculine energy does not have to be viewed in the sense of overpowering, and conquering, and we can take this full moon to see how it can actually motivate us, to chase our goals, and not to dwell on past miseries!

  
Empowerment is not meant to be scary!

For many old soul, healer types, empowerment may be confused as confrontation, and the thought of confrontation for those types, is just enough to send them over the emotional, and energetic edge, fretting with anxiety, and a racing pulse. But, it is time for us, to re-invent the ways in which we perceive empowerment, and wing true to ones self. Your duty on this earth is all about speaking your truth, not only that, but BEING your truth. It is time to self actualise. To realise how valuable, and necessary your voice is, and to come out of the timidity that causes you to be shy, or uncertain about standing your ground.

You must stand your ground, and protect your tetritory, just as the lion does! 

Creativity is absolutely magnificent, because it offers us the opportunity for alchemy, transforming something less than desirable (ie pain), into something valuable, like wisdom, and awakening for the masses. Most of my best poetry, and pieces were post twin flame separation, and during my dark night of the soul!

It is time for us to focus on how negative experiences can be utilised beneficially on our journey, and acknowledging that they do NOT have to paralyse us.

Has your art, and your creative flow been honest lately, are you digging in as deeply to ypurself, and your truth as possible? Or are you still afraid of what people may make of your truth. The best art is naked, vulnerable, unconcerned with societal perception. The ones whom it is meant for, need it more than anything.

  
How brave, and bold the lion is.

The lion has absolutely zero use for fitting in, and blending into normality. It’s mane alone speaks of its desire to take charge, and to be recognised for the divine creature that it is! The message from this full moon in Leo, is encouraging you to step outside of yourself, to be the divine instrument of love, light and truth that you are, regardless to the ways in which this may intimidate the other animals within the jungle.

You can no longer be concerned with upsetting others, nor offending them, when so much is at stake! You are a warrior of truth, and a way shower, so please continue to show the way, even if you have to burn some bridges, and set some bushes on fire in the process. Ofcourse, the lion knows that its responsibility to itself, and its pack means that it is less than favourable with the other species that share inhabitance with it, but what does the lion care? As I mentioned, there is far more at stake than being ‘liked’ here.

Twin flames; a lesson in empowerment, not victim consciousness.

 

In the lion family, within the animal kingdom, there is a very clear order, and hirearchy. Yes, the male lion is considered to be the leader of the pack, but rather, it is the female lion who may tame him, and whom he takes heed to. But do not be mistaken, the female lion is equally as vicious, if not more than her male counterparts, particularly if she is protecting her young, or if she has been left to fend for herself!

This is a very important lesson for the twin flame female in the union, (the one embodying mostly feminine energies) to realise. She is a powerful, and unstoppable force all on her own. And being ‘on her own’, is actually an opportunity for an acceleration of her strength, and not the opposite. 

The kingdom is hers.. Whether or not her ‘king’ is currently present. So, what if he has other territory to cover? Parts of the wilderness left explored, more hunting to do? Does this mean that he should be persecuted? His freedom stunted? Or should he be celebrated for his fiery determination, and desire for strength?

Traditionally, and biologically, the female is the stayer, the one who keeps watch of the forteess, and awaits for the male to return from hunting. But why should we adhere to familiar doctrine?

This full moon in Leo asks all twin flame women to seek wholeness by becoming that very masculine energy that they so desire, and admire. Not chasing it, but becoming it. It holds so very much to teach.

Once she can shift her perception in this way, her twin flame runner is no longer an enemy, or a perpetrator, because she is no longer a victim.
Full moon meditation –

I stand strong in my truth.

I am one with my truth.

I am capable of immense, and powerful manifestation.

I am a warrior, not a victim.
Blessed be my sacred beings ~
To book your own dream reading –

  
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Email cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk 

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Instagram :@spiritualpoetess_

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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

So, what do you know about pain, dear? ‘Her twin flame love’, how death, and the loss of the past helped me heal.

  

  
2015 had nothing particularly special, nor alarming about its beginnings, and I pretty much thought that it was going to be a year much like all others, pretty brisk, informative, but none the less flat, and rather passive – boy was I wrong. Only a few months into the year, I received the news that my best friend from childhood had died, had been shot, and that I was going to have to deal with the prospect of my worst fear. Endings. And the ultimate ending. Who would have thought it? The girl who lived her life through fairy tales in her mind, that never included any endings, and never really allowed herself to experience the depth of her pain. Well now, the most high said, ‘you have no choice’. I will package this pain in such a way that your only option is to take heed to it, to surrender, to know it, and in turn.. To know me.

This was the beginning of a spiritual evolution, and Revolution, that I had absolutely no idea, nor awareness of. I didn’t know it yet, but my life was never to be the same.

This month, was the same month that I connected with my twin flame.. And there were no surprises there. This was only one of the synchronicities that followed our sacred Union. He too, was an old friend of the friend who I had lost, and we found ourselves gazing eyes at one another, in the cemetery, whilst our final good byes were said. It was all too surreal for me. But he was there. His love was there.
A few weeks/months after this had happened, after the ‘bubble love phase’, began to bubble over..we received even more news. Another friend of whom we had both known since childhood, had also died, in another fatal, tragic accident. I also found it rather symbolic that both of our friends who were lost were very active members of our past. We had to understand, the past was slowly crumbling around us. This caused not only much self reflection, (I being life path 7, and he being life path 11), but it also caused us to sit with, and re-visit our past selves. What was happening around us? Why was there so much death? 

Why, because there was so much rebirth.

So much destruction born, so many intense feelings, so many new discoveries, so much new depth.. And then he ran.
And all of a sudden, all of my worst fears stared me in the face. Challenging me to face each one of them. One, by one, by one.

I do not want to be the woman..

  
I do not want to be the woman that you love, and leave. Sex is more than an instrument to me. It is a testimony to the divinity that lies between me, and I do not wish for my sacredness to be defiled by boyish charm, and wit. 

I am not protective of many things, as I believe in freedom, and expression, but I guard my sacred temple till I am weak at the knees, because this is my only treasure, the only home that I have known.

And I care so little for your good looks. I have seen men finer, from time, to time. Neither, did they deserve the worth that I preserve, haven’t you heard?

I am the primal woman, of the first, to give birth to this earth, and that is every reason to reserve myself. 

I know the difference, I do, between a man who seeks a home between my legs, and one whom seeks vacation. 

– Cinderella Anneh-bu

Photo credits – – Becca Fitzpatrick | Hush, Hush

Last night, I dreamt of the moon..

  
“Last night, I dreamt of the moon, and crashing waters, gushing aggressively towards glass walls that barricaded me, and I know that I dreamt of them because of you.
The moon represents so many things, intuition, feminine energy, fertility, love/romance, the unconscious, emotions, and alchemical illumination.
All of that, is you.
You are the walls that barricade me, and the ocean waters are the feelings that you do not want to let in.
You can see them coming, through the transparency of the walls, you can see that they exist, but as the moon also rules illusion, you are trapped inside of confusion, is this mere intrusion, or can such a love truly exist?
Once again, my darling, look to the moon for your salvation from doom..
It is asking you to be in tune, with the other aspect it rules, intuition..
My love, just listen,
You have been blessed with the clearest of visions, should you trust your intuition..

And that is a given, such provision,
Just listen.
And the moon, how it glistens, when you listen to its melodic traditions.
Feminine energy is a force to be reckoned with, and in the dream,
We were both fearful of the spaces In-between..
It is not the water, nor the moon that strikes the fear,
It is the distance, from here, to there.
Because what is the difference,
between illusion, and romantic confusion?”

Cinderella Anneh-bu

Left.

  
“I tried to love you, so hard I did. I spent so many nights trying, and in the end, I think that I loved you a little bit, maybe not enough to have you burn a fire inside of me, but you surely lit a dim match, and sometimes those burn far longer than roaring flames.
- I always told myself that I wanted a love that sprung me from my finger tips, and Burned me if I ever tried to extinguish it, and I found that type of love so many times, yet I couldn’t handle the burn.
- the final time that I got hurt, nearly knocked me off my feet all together. The pain was too much. It was the pain of all of the other times before, merged into one, and at once, all of my fears about being unlovable came back around, for one last tea party.
And, so I had to flee,
For my own safety ofcourse,
If I stayed, by now, I would be nothing but a mere corpse..
And I fell into you instead, something you said, that got inside of my head, made me think, that maybe I could be safe here. You taught me just like my father did, that the rest of the world was far too scary, so I had to stay with you, right beside you, and not stray too far outside of the lines, not walk too closely to the abyss, and I was used to this.
This narrow form of persuasion, and faux protection. I was used to this.
So I settled, and I have been settling ever since.
And now, I am so tired of settling for things that I learnt to endure during childhood folklore. I am so sick of continued curses, and the ways in which I perpetuate them.”

Cinderella Anneh-bu