To love one; who belongs to another..

I still find myself being too drunk on love – the one thing that is never enough, that there is never enough of.

And I do not want to lose myself, to the many hells that we call vulnerability, but somehow, on some level, I know that it is not meant to be – I know that it could never just be you, and me.

We are so young, so rebellious… We have the entire world ahead of us;

Inconsistencies, at our disposal.

Love, good love – I did not want to fall in love when I met you; I wish that you would not have come too soon, for my heart; it is so harsh,

It is so greedy, so needy, and now that I have clutched you in my seems, I should want to make dreams of you… But you leave, because you have an entire world outside of us – and you will never be for us… The God Lord, he prophesied his belief in the holy trinity, man, wife, and child – nowhere in there, did he speak of infidelity…

We are scorned, before our love is even born. – Cindy Anneh-bu

© Seek Cindy.

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Monthly Life Path Reading For All Life Path Numbers; Liberation, and inspiration. – June 2016.

Hello my lovelies! Because this reading is so late, I have changed the focus question from what should we be expecting this month? – To what themes, perspectives, lessons and messages should we take from this month in order to make next month better.

If you do not know your life path number yet, then just try my trusted method.

Add your entire birth date together, until you reach a single digit number, unless the sum of your birth date comes up to the numbers 11, 22, or 33, in which case – you do not need to simplify them once more because you are one of the master numbers.

Example – 10 December 1992

(10+12+1992) =  2014.

2+0+1+4 = Life path number 7.

General monthly reading – What was our focus for this month of June?

gen life path

Queen of swords, King of swords, Eight of swords.

Wow, so this month we were in our mind space ALOT. With two powerful representatives sat side by side, the queen of swords, and the king of swords shows that this month was really a bout liberating ourselves mentally, especially from this theory of entrapment that continues to manifest itself within our lives. This is about balancing, the marriage of the oppositional minds – You cannot escape your mind, so you have to find some harmony in there, somehow. The king of swords represents this clarity – knowing what to do to lift, and relieve your mental suffering, which is through being clear in your actions, and intentions, and expectations of others. This also represents growth, and maturity, you understanding that you cannot control the actions of others, or outcomes, you can only control the ways that you react to it. You got to know your shadow self a little bit better this month, and this does help you to keep an eye on your negative traits, and habits, including making things far worse within your mind than they need to be.

The queen of swords also suggests that this month you learned the importance of self expression. If you do not voice your truth, then how will others know how to respect you, and how not to cross boundaries? You cannot keep things trapped within yourself, because this is how negative experiences manifest. This also represents the balancing of the intuitive mind, with the rational, and logical mind. You realise the importance of both, so you really wish to organise yourself in this way. If you were once too harsh, this month saw you softening up a little, if you were once too soft, this month saw you sticking up for yourself a little more./

 

Life path 1(0). 

life path 1 june

Ten of cups, Two of pentacles, Justice.

This month life path 1, you were hit with some much needed realisations, and home truths. You spent a lot of this month realising, and sorting through what is really important. At heart, you are a family person, the heart of your community, and you take pride in standing up and caring for others in this way, but that has really taught you that you must be somewhat selfless in your actions – something that you were not so ready, and willing to own up to before. The ten of cups speaks of your desire to cultivate a happy family home, and to find some type of happiness that is deeper than day to day chores, and responsibilities. You need balance in your life. Perhaps you realise that your focus on money has driven you to neglect other areas of your life, including who, and what is important to you, and now you are determined to do things by the book. Justice speaks of your willingness to make a few tweaks and changes to yourself in order to become a better person, and to be a better provider, listener, or carer to those who depend on, and love you. This is nothing more important than family, and loved ones, and you are really coming to this realisation, and break through this month.You are asking yourself the bigger questions, What really matters? Who am I? And what am I doing to make sure that I am creating harmony, and balance, and not allowing my mind to get the better of me. This is a time where you are very desperate to play by the book. You are done with sneaky, underhand, or suspicious roles, and you just really want to balance your mental/material desires, with what is right, and what your heart speaks to you.

life path 2 june.jpg

Queen of wands, King of swords, Ten of pentacles.

This month, my darling number 2, you really do NOT want to be the push over anymore. You do not wish to be the one who blindly accepts everything, and you realise the importance of voicing your truth, and speaking about what really matters to you. The queen of wands is this sense of awakening that arises within you once you learn to be vulnerable in the RIGHT ways. Yes you are very sensitive, but this does not have to be an ailment. You realise with the king of swords that as long as you express your needs, and wants, and you are clear about what they are, then there is no reason for wires to be crossed, or for people to take advantage of you. You are growing a little more comfortable with that balance in the sense that you can tap into your intuitive side, and you can gain access to your rational mind, without compromising the two. Balance has been the most important for you this month. This is also about no longer being afraid to ask for help, or admit that in the building stage, everybody does require some assistance. Perhaps you held fears about others coming in to your life to introduce instability, but now you have realised that actually? It takes more than one to build something of substance. You may be healing fears, and issues that you have about members of the opposite sex (opposite energetic attraction), and perhaps you are now looking for somebody to share your success with. Success is boring alone. You need to be more balanced. You need to admit that sometimes you do need taking care of, even though you are highly independent, and there is no shame in that.

life path 3 june.jpg

Ten of cups (reversed), Knight of wands, Nine of cups.

Life path 3 – Do you feel as if you keep hitting the goal, but missing the target? Are things not moving fast enough for you? Have more patience my love. The 9 of cups does suggest that in the back ground all is well, and you are reaching a period of resolution, and fulfilment, perhaps you just want all of your eggs, in one basket, and you want it now.You have been feeling highly motivated, and inspired this month, and that is great, and that is beautiful, but you need to take time in remembering that not everything falls together at once. Appreciate things now because they are in that process of working out, do not be so hasty to have everything mapped out – nothing works like that. And this may even be a divine lesson in patience. For some reason, whatever you have been building, whatever doors you have been knocking on, spirit says that you are still just not ready, and that is why these things have not come to you – not because they are not GOING to come. You have to direct your enthusiasm in the right way, or you will become overly cynical, jealous, and critical of others who are walking through doors that you believe you should be walking through. For next month, I truly suggest that you take a step back, wait, take some time to do more planning, strategise more, learn from others in similar fields, and do not take this as a blow to your self worth, or your capabilities. Remember, that every great person once started somewhere.

life path 4 june

Ace of pentacles, King of pentacles, Ace of wands.

Lovely number 4 – You have been quite fortune this month haven’t you? Quite the journey that you have been on. This planning, and organisation thing, you truly have down to nearly a T. Something that you had been working on for a long time, gave you some results this month, and you are truly feeling yourself because of it. You started an entirely new journey, and this mirrors not only your financial pockets, but also how you are feeling inside. You are feeling much more hopeful because of this, and you must know that this is a new beginning, and in order to maintain it, you have to remain true to your spirit. The money, and the abundance will grow as long as you are doing what you enjoy, and as long as the focus is not only on the money. Your status, and your wealth is changing, and improving, and whilst you are enjoying this, do not forget about the ‘little people’ who helped make this a reality. Do not get too big for your boots, remember this is the beginning, and if you are careless with what you have, you may not see longevity. This could be a new job, new business venture, a raise, a promotion, or a project that has absolutely taken off. You currently have the power in your hands, but I do advise you to delegate it appropriately. Like I said, do not get ahead of yourself, do not belittle anyone because of your new found success, and remember, that it takes a team to build a house on solid ground.

life path 5 june

Six of cups, Ten of pentacles, Nine of wands.

This month number 5, it seems as if you may be healing financial wounds, and fears about not being good enough, or not being deserving, that stem from childhood. The six of cups sees you revisiting childhood for some reason. Maybe the loss of somebody from childhood, or the triggering of a childhood memory, has caused you to take a look at your journey. How far you have come, and who you are now. The six of cups and the 10 of pentacles outlines your desire to create a shift from who you were in the past, to who you can be in the future. You really do want financial freedom, but this is only so that you can ensure that you paint the life that you have always desired. You are reaching the ending of a cycle, and you can manifest an entirely new life now, but you will need to be honest with yourself about the things that are holding you back. you claim to want this freedom, but are you free first within yourself? Or, are you still a prisoner of the past, and of your mind?

You could be receiving inheritance from a family member that passed away, and the 9 of wands may be encouraging you to stay strong on this beaten path.You could be experiencing a much needed break from all of the trouble, and the struggle that you have been through by landing a new job role. If so, it is really important for you to gain ever greater independence. You have been thinking about your own family structure lately, and you are quite determined to create the happiness, and the togetherness that you yourself have not known. Perseverance is your mission. You have goal, you have drive, you have determination, you just need to ensure that you are not letting the past interfere with you.

life path 6 june

Knight of wands, Wheel of fortune, Seven of cups.

This month, number 6, you have some changes, and shifts occurring for you. Maybe life long dreams are becoming more apparent, and more tangible for you to see. The wheel of fortune is spinning in your favour, and you have had all of these options, and realisations being made apparent to you. Perhaps you have been in the midst of spiritual transition, and awakening, as your path and your purpose becomes more clearer for you. The knight of wands is all about your drive and your determination to see manifest your deepest goals, and desires, whilst the wheel of fortune is the universe cheering you on in your quest. You have had this illumination, where so much has become clear to you, and where you once felt a little trapped, now you are realising how much is actually at your disposal, should you want it. Stop at absolutely nothing. This is the making of you, and after all that you have been through? My do you deserve all of this.. It is important for you at this time to be focused, and plan each step of the way. If you get a little bit too overwhelmed with all of the options being presented to you, you may just end up not hitting any targets, or not reaching for anything. Do not be aimless in your desire for success, and happiness, know where you are going, and go there with joy, and enthusiasm in your heart. I feel that this is karmic pay back arriving to you for much of the good work that you have been putting in, for yourself, and for others.

 

life path 7 june.jpg

King of swords, Four of swords, Six of pentacles.

This month, my fellow 7’s and I, had a lesson in CLARITY. The king of swords assisted us to realise just how poisonous it is to be passive aggressive. We have had a lot of internal fights, and conflicts this month, and this was mostly because of our issues with expressing ourselves appropriately. We may be known for being loners, but that does not mean that we have to push everyone away, just because we do not know how to deal with them. We spend so much time stuck in our head, that we can often forget to be grounded, so this month, did not tell us to get outside of our heads, but told our heads, to get outside of us! Say what we really mean. Voice our truth. Our mind can be a danger zone when we make up theories, and expect people to know what we truly mean. If our needs are not met, we can not blame anybody else but ourselves, if we have not clearly dictated these means, and boundaries. This month was about speaking up, or practising the unleashing of our throat chakras. The four of swords indicates that what we really needed to do this month, was to rest, and contemplate. Fighting ourselves, and fighting others is futile, and only leads to mental exhaustion. We have healing that needs to take place, in the form of just calming it down, and toning it down, not everything has to be an ultimate battle for survival. We will only find the stability that we need, if we first have stability within ourselves. The 6 of pentacles addresses our give, and take relationship. With the four of swords, this talks about not being a push over, but not being overly domineering either. It is important for us to find that specific balance. Know when to speak up, but do not feel so reactionary, that you always have to pick a fight. Learn to express, without being venomous.  Share with others, and allow them to care for you. Do not shut the world out, but do not let too much in.

life path 8 june.jpg

The sun, Two of pentacles (reversed), Knight of swords.

Life path 8, this month, you are all about taking matters into your own hands, and creating your OWN happiness. You are sick of being and feeling imbalanced, internally, and externally. You have devoted so much time to acquiring wealth, and making sure that you are financially stable, that often you have forgotten to nurture yourself emotionally, and mentally. The sun card arrives to tell you to be a little more care free. Do not be so worried about instability. This comes from a place of fear, and you will find yourself working even when working does not fill you with joy – just so you do not have to face the demon that is LACK. Well..Surprise, surprise, what you are doing, is still deriving from that exact demon of LACK. You are fearful about not being enough, so you work yourself to the bone. Calm down. Enjoy the sun, Summer is coming, so maybe let your hair down a little, book a holiday, and actually see it through. Do not cancel because somehow you believe it will cut into your working time, or interfere with your career. Stop being boring – life really is for living. The knight of swords is all about you charging forward with actions once you realise what it is that you have to do. You realised this month, that you have to find some balance, because you have been over worked. Now that you know what it is, you need to ensure that you make some vital changes.

 

life path 9 june

Judgement, Knight of pentacles, Six of pentacles.

So this month, number 9, you had the chance to really look at your TRUTH. Who are you really? The good,.and the bad. You may have become aware of certain aspects of your shadow self that you were trying to suppress. The judgement card indicates this stripping of you so that you can come to see the reality of your situation, and your actions. Were there fears that you held about not becoming good enough, that actually kept you from expanding, and excelling yourself in many ways? Now, with the knight of pentacles, you are really looking toward a new horizon in terms of finance, and career. You have had a little boost of energy, and inspiration since you have done this soul searching, and realised what it is that you need to accomplish. You really want to be involved in service work, whatever you do, you want to feel like you have EARNED your money, and you are making a difference. In order to nurture others, you do need to nurture yourself, but not to the point of being oblivious to others needs, and wants. You need to be very honest with yourself at this time about your inability to be fully open, and receiving. You could be shutting off some of your blessings by being reluctant to be vulnerable to the truth of who you are. Your work purpose likely lies with healing, but you cannot step into this role fully, unless and until you are willing to heal the part of yourself that has doubts about who you really are, and what you should be doing.

life path 11 june

Seven of swords, Three of wands, The moon.

I am very proud of you this month number 11! You are making that LEAP into adulthood. The seven of swords suggests that even though you still may be looking back, you are only looking back in order to gain clarity about what is ahead of you. You have been mature enough this month to look at yourself in a light that puts yourself on blast. This is honesty about why your life situations, and experiences played out a certain way. Likely, you were not being fully true, or honest with yourself, about who you are, what you have been through, and what you truly want. The three of wands speaks of manifestation, and broadening your horizons. You have worked through a lot of the fears that you had about being too small, or being stuck in a sense. You may be booking a holiday, going travelling, or stepping outside of your comfort zone in some way. You are no longer interested in depriving yourself of life, and all that life has to offer, and this truly WILL reward you. The moon card suggests that you are getting rid of a lot of the delusions that you had about yourself, and the world. You are very powerful. And the world is not unjust. You create it, as you want it. This also speaks of your feminine nature becoming more conscious. You are allowing yourself to be loved more, and treated better by others, by loving and also treating yourself better. Perhaps this new chapter in your life has actually been triggered by you making peace with your more emotional nature. Emotions do not have to be bad. Your intuition is actually your best friend. Listening to your subconscious mind is healthy, especially when you make it conscious enough to heal you, and bring you truth. It is the suppression of this vital aspect of yourself that has previously kept you entrapped. Well done to you!

life path 22 june.jpg

The fool, Judgement, Seven of cups.

This month, number 22, you embarked on a new journey, and this journey was all about self realisation, and working through your karma. Whereas you previously may have shied away from working on your karma because you felt it would be too painful, you have been so much more honest with yourself this month, and it is paying off, because of how many doors that it is opening for you. Thank God you are a breath of fresh air away from the time where you once thought that you were cursed, and the universe was out to get you. Now, you are realising that what you thought was this curse, was really your own self perpetuated habits, and belief systems. This new journey that you are on, is going to allow you to see that life is full of enchantment, and wondrous things. You have the ability, and the opportunity to construct this life that you desire. You are the MASTER builder, please do not forget this because of stains of the past. You have to walk away from the past, and walk into the truth of who you really are. Look at yourself in a profound light. Do you really offer yourself the services that you wish others would offer you? Do you use your intense brain power to build, manifest, and motivate, or do you steer it toward mourning over the past, and looking back at what no longer is. You just need to be honest especially in terms of relationships, and past painful relationships. Why did they happen? What role did you play in their happenings? There is no victim of circumstances here. Rather energies were at play for specific reasons. The seven of cups arrives to show you that you can have a new beginning in life, and in love the moment that you want it, you just have to come out the other side of your realisations, and REALISE this.. There is so much on offer for you.

 

life path 33

The magician, Eight of swords, Ten of swords.

Life path number 33 – This month, you are arriving at the realisation that you do have the power to pull yourself out of your funk – and the universe has been showing you this using synchronicities, and signs that will make sense to you. You are the magician, powerful beyond belief, and capable of intense manifestation, yet you choose to play small sometimes, and just want to stay in your mind getting hung up on the things that you think that you cannot do, or cannot achieve. You are wasting valuable time, and with the 10 of swords, it appears that this is because of how unlucky you have been in love. In some ways, you have always sort of struggled with self esteem, and this relationship, or partnership has not helped in making you feel less than. Please know, that if you perpetuate these feelings, then you will manifest experiences that do back this up. Your powerful manifestation can go either ways. You can create great things, including yourself, or you can destroy yourself. You need to get up, and out of this victim, and poor me narrative. There is only one way to go when your heart has been pierced so severely, and that is up. But you must be willing to pull yourself up, and see your life blossom in these ways. Do you even believe that this is possible? Because if you do not, then nothing will really change. You do have this power. There are signs, and symbols everywhere for you to follow, so do not say that you have no idea where to start. You start with you. It all starts with you.

 

To book your own personalised/private reading with me..Just send me an email at cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk and I will be yours in a flash! Readings can be received via email, skype, or face to face for those living in the area of London.

Please find below my price listings, and my testimonial page is up here in the categories section:)

If you appreciate these type of monthlys and you would like to invest in my craft, feel free to place a donation via my tumblr page, http://www.spiritualpoet.tumblr.com

or through my paypal email directly – Cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

General Weekly Reading 27th June- 3rd July ;Moving through the stages of darkness.

general weekly.jpg

Main theme: Nine of wands, Surrounding cards: Three of swords, ten of wands, four of cups, six of wands.

The theme of this week, is heart break, and the resilience, and the strength that it builds.

Perhaps this week you may be recovering from some bad news that you received, some disappointment, or trying to recover from something that triggered an old, but opened wound within.

The main theme, the nine of wands ensures that you practice the strength, resilience, and courage that you have picked up from dealing with this situation, or something similar multiple times in the past. You are no stranger to adversity, in-fact you have built quite a spiritual rap sheet just from your ability to endure pain, and turn it into triumph, and this is no different from what you will be expected to do this week.

Numerologically speaking, we are moving through a period of the ending of a cycle, and lessons learnt 27th June  (2+7=(9) to, a period of creation, exploration, and manifestation (3) rd July.

You must take all of the lessons, wisdom, and knowledge that you have acquired from your experiences with pain, and mishap, and use this to your advantage now. The nine of wands is all about the completion of a cycle, (as is this ten of wands), standing strong, and effectively changing the course of your karmic destiny, and history. No more are you willing to abide by the martyr complex. You are saying goodbye to something that enables, and perpetuates your narrative of pain. You are recognising that you DO have a conscious decision whether to engage in low vibrations, and cycles of deprivation, and you are refusing to be this emotional sponge that just soaks up everything.

There is something that is occurring within the background, and playing on your mind, and where perhaps in the past, you would have given your full energy to this matter, and let it overcome you, you are now, today, this week, fighting with everything that you have just to reclaim your piece of sanity.

You have come much too far to lose it all now, and watch it unravel, and I believe that on a very, very deep internal level you know this. You are very determined not to let the minor things effect you anymore. Well done for realising that they are minor – only a few months ago, they may have sent you off the deep end! Growth – make sure you are noting this!

The three of swords signifies a new chapter in love, and matters of the heart. You are changing the way that you view love, and being in love. There is a lightness that wishes to emerge within your heart, that no longer wants to cling to certain depictions, and fairytale-esque endings. You realise how this deprives you often of seeing the reality of love – whether this be good, or bad.

The six of cups shows that this is a childhood issue, and perhaps in childhood you may have imagined the perfect partner who would come and rescue you from all of your doom, and gloom. It is time for you to recognise, that the only one who can save you from such is yourself, nobody is perfect, and putting that amount of pressure on somebody in love, only beckons disappointment, and reeks of manipulation.

The six of wands is all about your battle cry, and your victory roar. I feel like the 6 of cups, and the 6 of wands are truly communicating here. It is your recognisation of childhood triggers, and this fear of losing in love that will allow you to set yourself free, and see the bigger picture here. You have grown so very much, and you are accomplishing so much in such a short space of time. You are very strong this week, and you are learning the importance of no longer being so easily rocked by life’s events.

Life does move on. Things do go on.

Even if this does not speak of a romantic situation this week, and points to our grievances with family, or friends, do not count your losses here, because spirit shows there is something far bigger, and more significant occurring in the background. Do not let the smoke, and mirrors fool you. There is an energy currently of political, and global unrest, and no doubt that that has something to do with the added toxicity in the air.

Try not to get too distracted. Remember that you are  constantly buying energetic experiences based upon your own energetic vibration. If somebody keeps treating you as a victim, perhaps check the ways in which you are stepping into this victim role, and giving them the energy that they need to ‘dose up’ their narcissisms, or energetic vampirism.

Please keep your head afloat, and above water my lovelies! I encourage much rest, much meditation, and much nature for you this week..Try to stay in tune with yourself, as much as possible!

 

Happy healing my sacred beings ~

To book your own personalised/private reading with me..Just send me an email at cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk and I will be yours in a flash! Readings can be received via email, skype, or face to face for those living in the area of London.

Please find below my price listings, and my testimonial page is up here in the categories section:)

If you appreciate these type of weekly readings, and you would like to invest in my craft, feel free to place a donation via my tumblr page, http://www.spiritualpoet.tumblr.com

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

Instagram – @spiritualpoetess_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

Twin Flame Weekly Reading – 13th-19th June; Realisations and foundations.

twin flame 13.jpg

Main theme – King of swords, what is occurring for both twins – The hermit, Masculine – The hanged man, King of cups, The wheel of fortune, Feminine – Temperance, Eight of swords, Six of wands.

This week, both divine lovers are experiencing a dose of their own realities. With the hermit, and the king of swords present, they are receiving the mental clarity that they need, by going deep within. This is a process of looking into themselves, the truth of themselves, and particularly their shadow elements in order to understand what has been navigating their karma.

This shows TRUE maturity, not just maturity on a basic level. The only way to truly understand one’s self, one’s life, and one’s karma, is through looking, and seeking within. This is how we refrain from making the same mistakes time, and time again. And this week’s theme, is truly about those mistakes. Those mistakes that we have made, and the things that we wish we could take back. We are being asked to see that we cannot take them back, because they were apart of our unique destiny, BUT what we can do, is work on ourselves, and our own inner mechanisms, in order not to keep attracting, or repeating those mistakes. It is time to take the rose tinted glasses off. Who are we? And who have we been in love?

With the hanged man, we are shown how the masculine is realising that he does have issues with control, and one of his shadow elements have secretly been his desire to control, as a result of an inferiority complex. To him, controlling his life meant that it could not fall apart, so he tried to maintain enough distance is certain areas, and hold on too tightly, or almost aggressively to other areas and ideals.

This week, sees him working through these issues that he has to do with control, and a lack of control. This is a relationship that has a theme in his life, and apart of his karma, as shown by the wheel of fortune. However, we are shown that he is effectively moving through, and working through this karma, as shown by the king of cups. This is him allowing himself to be a little more fluid, understanding, and self reflective. This is the kind of self analysis that allows for empathy to become apparent, empathy and understanding, particularly empathy in regards to past actions, and past relationships. This is really about showing him the hand that he has played in his own karma, and how to shift things a little bit – which will start happening now as long as he continues allowing himself to take responsibility, and accountability.

Both twins, can be a little bit, dare I say, manipulative? And this week they ARE starting to realise this, and are starting to make peace with this, the fact that they have actually not been as innocent in their transactions as they think they have. But like most things, this is almost always due to fear. So working through, and on these fears are making themselves known to both sacred lovers, this week. It is time to reflect, heal, acknowledge, and make peace with.

Over on the feminine side, she is realising with the eight of swords, that one of her things, is mental entrapment. This is one of the afflictions that have made it difficult for her to have and to hold harmonious relationships, and she is fast becoming aware of this. The eight of swords speaks of becoming trapped in our own philosophies, perspectives, ways of life, and beliefs.

She is taking responsibility by no longer playing the victim. Instead of saying, ‘This was done to me,’ now she is beginning to acknowledge, ‘In some ways, I was doing the exact same thing..’. This is the mirror of all mirrors for her this week.

The card of temperance asks that she maintains balance. Much like the masculine was obsessed with the element of control, as too was the feminine obsessed with controlling the outcome of situations, and relationships according to her own narrow ways of thinking, and expectations. This is how they have both been being manipulative.

The six of wands arrives however to tell her that this is her final battle/victory cry. This is one of the major blockages that has been afflicting her. Her issues with control, victimisation, and not taking responsibility. Just like this realisation brings the masculine a turn of events via the wheel of fortune, realising and releasing this also grants her karmic return immunity. THIS is how you break chains my lovely people..

The message is very clear to the feminine this week..That if she changes things according to these realisations, and epiphanies, the only probable outcome, IS success, on a grand scale. The appearance of two cards representing masculine characters,  (The hermit/King of swords) appearing as relevant themes even for her, show her willingness to balance her masculine side. Meaning what she says, and doing what she means. Bold expression, not holding her tongue once she has perceived something, but instead voicing it healthily, and directly, therefore lessening the chances of her needs not being met, or her being ‘victimised’ because she could not properly voice her opinion, and stick with it. This also gets her out of getting stuck in her head. Because the only reason she is so stuck in her head, is because she has all of these things that she does NOT EXPRESS!!!

This is absolutely beautiful, and I am VERY proud of both sacred lovers this week, because if you really look at these cards, and this reading, you see that both of them are actually going through the exact SAME thing, although these changes are manifesting in different ways. Both coming to terms with control issues, both working through karmic understanding, both CHANGING the course, and the direction of their destiny, and their relationships, according to this.

 

To book your own personalised/private reading with me..Just send me an email at cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk and I will be yours in a flash! Readings can be received via email, skype, or face to face for those living in the area of London.

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Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

 

 

The secrets of love; Why do we do it?

love why

We all want love. It is the one thing that keeps us all awake at night..Even if we do not know consciously, that it is love that we seek. The absence of love, is pain. So, before we are even old enough to recognise, we mould, and we merge ourselves in order to be receiving, and deserving of this kind of love.

I find that those who have come from abusive backgrounds, tend to carry the years of trauma, neglect, and abuse that sit on their shoulders with them throughout their lives, because their psyche cannot make understanding of the fact that they were denied something so vital, especially to such tender years of one’s life. Not only do we all want love, but we all NEED love.

So, what does that mean? Do we all NEED to be in a relationship? Do we all NEED a partnership? When the fruits of our parents love is no longer (or never was), significant enough, what does that mean for us in love? Are humans by nature destined to be coupled, consistently, and consecutively?

Well, my answer is..Somewhere in between no, and possibly. I do not believe that we always need to be in relationship with somebody, even as a highly sensitive, love infused empath. And actually, I believe that this theory that we, (especially women), must always be part of a partnership, is very damaging to our self worth, self love, and right to be autonomous in this world. Sure, relationships do shape you, in a major way, and you grow, and come to realise more about who you are from romantic relationships, but I also have found that you can lose yourself, to your own desire to be accounted for.

A relationship should not define who you are. Some marriages, and romantic connections do last ‘forever’, the duration of your life time, but about 50% of them, will go bust at one point, and what will you be left with then?

I am not saying that just because a relationship did not work out, means that it was useless, pointless, or a waste of time, because far from it actually – It is our disconnections with romance that cause us to really delve deeply within, and figure out more about who we are, and what we want from life. What I am saying is, you can not rely on a relationship to prove that you are worthy of love, worthy of appreciation, or worthy of recognition.

For a long time, as I ran away from myself, and ran into the arms of numerous other lovers, I thought that I was learning about love. I thought that I was learning how to love myself. My self love was dependent on the men that could love me, if they could. If they did, or showed me something reminiscent at least of love, I would conclude that this was because I was valuable somehow, and them recognising this in me, allowed me to also recognise this in myself. This is the classic story for so many insecure women, and people battling with their own self esteem. Like I said, we all want love. We all need love. And if we have been deprived of it, in anyway, we will set out to seek for it, and we will always set out to understand why it was not previously granted to us. This is the make up model of abusive relationships, and how dysfunction in love perpetuates itself.

Even when the abused are abused, or treated far less than they should ever be, it is their one single quest to understand why this is happening to them..Why this has been happening to them, that keeps them tied so tightly to this illusion of what it means to be loved.

We settle in love when we do not know who we are. We do not necessarily care who they recipient is, as long as there is somebody to project our love on to. This is NOT love. Especially not on our part, and this is what we need to realise, whilst we are still insecure, and uncertain of ourselves. We wonder why we love others, and they do not love us back? This is because, we do not love others..We only think that we do.

We want them to prove to us that we are worthy of love, so from the minute that the relationship is off the ground, it is not about, ‘us’, it is not about, ‘we’, it is not about ‘them’, it becomes, about you. It becomes selfish love. And there is nothing about love that can remotely be selfish.

It is such an interesting term and a concept love, isn’t it? The way that we throw it about in everyday ordinary life. Giving it so much power yet simultaneously so much triviality and sensationalism. But how many of us even know what it truly means? I sure do not..I know that it exists.  But like all things mystical, spiritual, and not of a tangible frequency, it exists in feeling, in thought, in knowing, and not in proof, or logistics or measurements. This is what makes it so special. There is no seeing is believing.. There just is. And that is what is so frightening about it.

Most of us do not know how to love because we have never been taught how to love, but this does not stop us from trying anyway, so on we trod, with our hopeless idealisms, dreams for a better tomorrow, and stereotypical television depictions of what we should be doing..Ah, I adore humans, I love human kind.. We have not a clue, but we are so determined to..

Anyway, so on we trod, projecting our unmet issues, and unresolved family history/karma on to other unsuspecting souls, for the most part, even unbeknownst to us. So, we destroy a few hearts in the process, damage a few people on our journey, and near enough dent ourselves past the point of recognition, and for what? What does it all mean? What is it worth in the end? In the end, when you have to let go anyway?

It is worth, you. It is for, you. Love is the greatest teacher, the greatest lesson that you will ever know. And I will not be here today and tell you to be strong, to move on, to stop missing the ex’s who made such a huge impact on your entire being. Why, I have not. So why would I advise you to? If I were over all of them completely, if I had forgotten every single last trace of them, I promise you, I would not write the way that I do today..

They taught me, practically gave me my spirituality. Made it so that I needed no books to teach as I do now, all I need was a memory bank. If you are raw, bruised, and cut open over love, be this way.. I guess, in your own special, sordid way, it is your destiny. Not to be hurt, not to be abused. But to learn from the instances where you are hurt, and you are abused.

Let us hope, you will become so desensitised to the idea of being unlovable, that you will begin to heal. Because, there is only so much that a person can tell themselves that they are unworthy, before they grow sick of their own lies.

Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

 

 

Father’s cot.

fathers cot.jpg

Afbeelding Albert Neuhuys – Watching father work

Time is always ticking inside of my mind.
I do not remember a time, when i was sound.
Maybe in childhood, definitely not adolescence,
the last time that i was present,
not prone to self negligence.
Before all of the strenuous, tumultuous lessons,
visions of love, and trust, rolling in the dust.
Is it not too much to ask for something that is non reminiscent of love?
Last night, i had a dream of my father, through muffled whispers,
I told him..You hurt us, you deserted us, and now I am perpetually nervous,
anxious,
hyper sensitive,
wondering,
does this man love me so?
Will he too go?
Will we never ever get to grow?
Will i never ever know, is the fault mine,
or is he the very foe?
And he too,
and not to forget him from last year?
How long?
Before I call them all a villain, perhaps the villain lies within myself,
my own hell,
the world that i created through my father, i said to myself,
if he loveth me not, then why should any other of his kind not leave me to rot?

Fathers cot.

Cindy Anneh-bu

Blue day..

  
It has been a blue day, so I set my cup of tea calmly beside the window pane and watch the rain drops trickle in slow motion. I wish that they could stall time, and they truly do make the days go by, slower, so that I do not even realise when the grey sky fades to black. And I am still sat Infront of the window in my worn woolly slippers and my sea blue night gown. Now I trace shapes among the misty windows and every now and then breathe hard so that I may start again. I hate mistakes. And I have made my fair share that I ponder on days like these. When nothing makes sense anymore. Not even looking back, because I have come so far, and looking to the past is no longer an indication of how large, a spirit I possess. Nevertheless, I cannot look forward because the future looks as bleak as my tea. Still untouched since half past three, July the fifteenth. Now it sits with moulds of brown and greens. Just like the leaves in my garden of eve. I turn my head slightly, hoping that something will lift my spirits and shift me out of my misery. The moon is full and a fly whispers something into my ear. ‘Do not do it dear’ do not give up again this year. You’ve so many lessons to collect, among your tears’. 
Twitter – @spiritualpoet_

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E – cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk
© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.