Energetic transferences – The truth about hyper masculinity & hyper femininity. 

So, I think it is only fair to post a response to the sheer confusion, chaos, and backlash that was born yesterday, when I tweeted that I enjoyed being in the company of men, because I identify with being highly feminine, and it Injected some logical reasoning into my conversation.. Now, the feminists who got ahold of this tweet, went absolutely ballistic – (like I probably gathered they would), instead of viewing things from a point of energetic dynamics, they simplified everything down into – men, and women ie, me meaning – women are highly illogical beings, whilst men are the only ‘sensible’ creatures.Well, I can see HOW this could be misinterpreted – however, I feel like in order to understand my stance, you WOULD need to have a clear idea of how energy works.
We are all born with a certain access/amount of masculine/feminine energy, however, in each of us, one energy tends to be dominant, whilst the other remains dormant or inactive for the most part.
In those who are hyper masculine, this energy is highly imbalanced to the point of detriment externally, whilst with hyper femininity, the feminine energy is imbalanced to the point of detriment INTERNALLY – please pay attention, this is how energetic gender templates differ.

Masculine energy is external (drive, discipline, action, motion, hunter etc),

Whilst feminine energy is internal, (emotion, channeling, extra sensory ability, receptive, expansive)..

This does not mean that neither men, nor women cannot access the templates belonging to the opposing energetic group – actually hermaphroditism is associated w/ high levels of holiness & the balance between these two energies to create a third energy (God like force), is the goal of all Mystics.. At one point, I was hyper feminine, to the point of being too passive & this served as a money blockage also. However, after spending time with many hyper masculine men (narcissists), I was able to both learn & incorporate the tricks of the trade, as they exist largely within the thought realm (logic), to avoid emotional penetration..

In no way does recognising hyper femininity as an issue that is toxic towards the carrier themselves, undermining or cancelling of hyper masculinity and the ways that it is damaging to both men, and women.

I believe that the return of feminine consciousness/the divine feminine has been perverted, and misconstrued by the powers that be to create a binary between men, and women, and further separation and DIVISIONIST tactics. 

The goal should not be to separate ourselves, or scorn at our differences, or even try to make our differences disappear, rather, the end goal of all trauma should be reconciliation, and resolution. Why are so many of us picking at the scabs of our wound, and choosing to remain apart of our karma, trauma, and victim consciousness? 

And no, this is not ‘victim blaming’, or any other term that has been invented to deter the process of growth.

It is imperative that we grow outside of our wounds, and not remain entrapped in the trauma that was born of them.

Hating men, or even choosing to deny the benefits that masculine energy brings to our lives, is not a health response to trauma whatsoever.

Understanding and separating hyper- masculinity in itself, from ‘men’, as a gender IS a healthy response to trauma.

Not all men believe that women are subservient, and actually, there are a few men who suffer from hyper femininity themselves, and turn to hyper masculinity later in life, because they have come across individuals who take advantage of, and manipulate their former intense passivity.

These energetic templates should be made aware of, so that others can effectively learn to balance, re-write, and correct their imbalances, and karmic traces.

This also, is very directly linked to the eternal attraction of the empath, and the narcissist – and their subconscious, psychological desire to attain balance.

Once again, I know that not everyone will understand, or resonate with this post, but for the ones that do, endless blessings upon you..

And know, that there is nothing about your internal make-up, that you cannot tweak.

Cindy Anneh-bu

© Seek Cindy 2016

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Childhood – Emotional/psychological abuse, and the effects that it leaves.

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Alot of people find emotional abuse, and psychological abuse, difficult to digest, or hard to diagnose. This is because, unlike physical abuse, there is no outward manifestation, or symptoms that can be directly traced back to a cause.

Because of this, sadly, so many children go from school to home, from home, to school, keeping within them the burdensome secret, of the double life, and the trauma that they must regularly endure.

This type  of abuse is so subtle, and insidious, that it is possible that even the child in question, does not realise that they are being abused, or harmed. They may simply perceive that they have a strict, parent, or parents, and therefore internalise the abuse to be a result of something that they are doing, and that they have done.

The internalisation of this blame is incredibly dangerous, because it can off-set a cycle of the child learning to blame themselves for abuse, (that is usually perpetuated later in life), and also to constantly try to modify their behaviours, and their impulses in order not to receive any further abuse.

‘One study has suggested that victims of childhood physical abuse have a 40% chance of being diagnosed with major depressive disorder at some stage in their life and a 30% chance of being diagnosed with a disruptive behaviour disorder’.

Have you ever graced the presence of somebody who almost shrinks into themselves. Who holds a posture, a position, and a meek voice, that screams of self consciousness, and hyper vigilance. Well, this was me. And this is also the individual who is very careful, about their movements, and about their words, because they have been taught that to put a wrong foot out of place, or to cause yourself to become ‘too noticed’, ‘too enlarged’, offers them the risk of being re-abused.

This individual may go through their entire life feeling as if they have to walk in the shadows, or manipulate their behaviours in order to appear as less of a threat.

In my observation, i have witnessed there to be two separate manifestations of somebody who suffers from emotional/psychological abuse, or some type of abandonment/neglect/rejection, earlier on in childhood.

Despite what new-ageism, and alternative lifestyles preach, every child does need to be grow, and be nurtured under the guidance of a strong, secure, consistent, and stable/balanced house hold. It is very important for children to have access to a blend of both masculine, and feminine energies, as the feminine energy, (typically, but not always the mother), enriches them with love, comfort, and forgiveness, whilst the masculine energy, (typically, but not always the father), instils order, protection, safety, and strength within them.

This does not have to exist as a part of a nuclear family dynamic, with one, mother and one father, if this type of set up is inaccessible, for a variety of reasons. This could be alternated, with the presence of extended family members, or even care givers, standing in to fulfil these roles.

In Africa, there is a congregation of an extended family, wherein aunties, uncles, parents, and grandparents are likely to share one compound, and raise children as a community, within a tight, supported, and watchful network.

This by far, has to be one of my favourite methods of up-bringing. Although this can not be so easily maintained as a part of western living, ideally, it is a beautiful practice, regardless. It also goes to show that the development of each individual is not only reflective of their community, but also reflective of their level of involvement within the individual’s life.

Can we blame ‘bad’ people, for being ‘bad’ people?

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There is an association between childhood abuse and the risk of suicidal behaviour. One study found that a history of physical abuse increases the odds of attempting suicide by almost 5 times, while a history of emotional abuse may increase the odds of a suicide attempt by more than 12 times

And if so, must we not condemn their entire community, and the parents whom raised them?

I believe in redemption, to a certain extent. After all, many of the most viscous, unpleasant, and sociopathic people that i have met throughout the course of my life, have all appeared to have suffered some sort of core wounding in childhood. A wound that only seemed to grow overtime, and manifest as their shadow self, blocking them from their own light.

It is the subconscious, and the unconscious that rules their actions, their lack of empathy, that also remains buried below the consciousness. Empathy opens the door way for emotional openness, and vulnerability. It is likely that many of these people have had to intensely suppress, and deny their empathy, in order to cope with their level of trauma, or abuse more effectively.

Let’s say, for instance, there is a young man who is regularly physically, and verbally abused by his father over a recurring period of time. Even if this young man is initially highly sensitive, and possesses an innocent, and a naive approach to life, sooner or later, in order to protect himself, his subconscious mind will ask him to numb himself. Numb himself to the insults that he receives, and numb himself from the expectancy of consistent love, empathy, or remorse from his father.

Thus, he begins to operate in a fashion that is void of emotional expression. This is a survival technique. This would only be further emphasised, if the young man’s father also insisted that the boy expressing any grief over his treatment, may be acting in a way that is out of accordance with what it means to be a man – therefore, what it means to be acceptable.

Similarly, a young woman who is subject to an emotionally distant, cold, or unavailable father, may find herself feeling isolated, and ‘faulty’, from this lack of male approval, and attention, and may therefore grow to become overly dependent, and reliant upon male attention, an attempt by her subconscious mind to make peace with her earlier experiences. As a result of this, she is likely to find herself in a string of failed relationships, laced with co-dependency, and men who sense her desperation, and happily exploit its position.

Symptoms of somebody who has been affected by childhood abuse in adulthood.

  • Extremely withdrawn, appearing overly shy, introverted, or distracted, engaging in careless day dream.
  • An inability to concentrate for long periods of time, poor memory and directive skills, (this is because parts of the brain literally shrink, failed to develop coherently, and experience severe confusion).
  • ADHD – or a similar manifest behavioural affliction that causes one to outwardly seek attention, and recognition – even if this is negative attention.
  • Overly aggressive – failing to access rationalisation, or impulse control.
  • Difficulty with closeness, intimacy, perhaps pertaining to sexual intimacy, (erotophobia) or a string of promiscuous/unfaithful relations.
  • Compulsive lying, multi personality disorder, a desire for one to seem more flamboyant, and achieved than they truly are, (in order to compensate for intense feelings of inferiority).
  • Hypersensitivity to criticism (either because of a lack of belief in self already existing, or manifesting from a place of requiring consistent praise, to appease the false ego),
  • An inability to allow others enough access into ones internal world, reluctance to open up to others emotionally, desire to separate from emotionally demanding situations, lack of commitment to anything that requires lengthy work.

 

 

I highly recommend that anybody who recognises these traits within themselves, or identifies with my article in some way, seek some sort of professional advice, and help as soon as possible. If you are unsure about what methods are available to you, then i would be happy to assist you with that.

To discuss any empath topics with me during a one on one reading, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk to enquire about my prices and services.

 

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  © Seek Cindy 2016

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