One of the greatest twin flame lessons that are learned, and endured, is the lesson of cultivating love – without physical contact.
Whether we have spent several months, or a few weeks only in the bubble love phase, true twin flames who are absolutely loaded to the rim with energetic, and emotional karma, will inevitably have to endure the stage of separation, in order to balance their energies properly.
This is the excruciating stage whereby, twin flames who once couldn’t bear to be without each other for a second, now find themselves spending months, even years, lost, longingly wondering what is to become of them, and their life.
Typically, this sets off a dark night of the soul for the twins on both paths. Though it is the ‘chaser’, or ‘stayer’ twin rather, who can attribute their feelings of longing and despair to missing their life partner. The ‘runner’ twin will also find that their life has been turned upside down, even if they do not know that this is because their twin has unconsciously activated their life purpose, and consequently set off all of their triggers.
Now, this realisation of what has gone wrong is absolutely shattering to the stayer twin, as their twin usually rejects any, and every effort for contact and reconciliation following that point. By this time, the stayer twin has awakened to all that this Union means, and they find it impossible to cut the invisible chord that binds the two.
Imagine knowing that you have found the love of your life, holding the knowing that they are perfectly (though imperfectly) scripted for you in every way, and knowing that they love you too, but for whatever reason, they appear to want absolutely nothing to do with you.
It is important not to go jumping to conclusions when reading the twin flame separation phase symptoms, as these symptoms can also relate in part to karmic attachments and, any other kind of co-dependent or abusive relationship.
With the twin flame Union, even during separation, the ‘runner’ twin will send feelings of love, and comfort, that will be felt energetically, even if misunderstood. Though, that being said, it is true that this Union can often ‘mimic’ these sorts of unhealthy attachments.
And this, is the very reason for this article.
All of the twins, (including myself), that I have come across experiencing this journey have been in unspeakable agony, waiting, longing, and yearning for their twin. So many have put their entire lives on hold, and frozen their self worth, awaiting it’s ressurection by their twin. This is wrong on all accounts. Not only because the twin flame Union is designed to break these co-dependent patterns, but also because then, you are not learning unconditional love. You are still searching for conditions, because granted, if you do not get a desirable response, (or any response for that matter), from your twin, you are sent into a spiralling rail of gloom, doom, depression, and self loathing.
Some even wait years, losing the ‘best’ years of their lives to the emotional torment of missing their twin, whilst their twin continues to live a life seemingly unphased. Conaequently, the life of the stayer twin become nothing but a series of emotional pits, anxiety, and Non-fulfilment.
The divine would never choose for you to live your life this way. In fact, this is not living. This is torment. Every time that you obsess over your twin posing with a new man/woman on social media, or about the important date that they did not contact you on, you are slowly opening up the childhood wound that breathes, ‘you are not enough’.
Which brings me to my ultimate, scandalous point.. The twin flame taboo.
Dating a soul mate..
For the longest time it seems, that the theory of twin flames has been that we are not meant for anybody else. This is both true, and false. Sure, according to the grand design the twin flame Union is our ultimate resonance, and our souls highest purpose, but this is only IF both twins clear themselves of the egos way of thinking, feeling, and living. Otherwise, they are certainly not, ‘meant’ to be together.
Take a look at the example of a fully activated and self actualised stayer twin, who completes all the necessary self work, is fully on the road to recovery, takes charge of their destiny, and then the, ‘matrix’ twin, who is still stuck in ego consciousness, who refuses to choose the light, or continues to harm themselves, and others with low vibrational, or abusive behaviour. How in anyway then, are these two, ‘meant to be together’?
Because of a label? Surely, we have now realised that labels are not enough. The universe is all about energy, and after a while, you must ask yourself, am I giving away all of my energy and getting nothing back? Twin or not, what a harmful and toxic existence.
Many of those who are horrified by the idea of twin flames dating a soul mate, are only this way because they are still stuck in ego consciousness. They fear that dating a soul mate may completely invalidate the divinity, or authenticity of their twin flame union, or exile any possibility of a reunion, this is all untrue.
Sometimes, for whatever reason, through the years, it strikes you that your twin flames journey is separate from yours, and you must accept this, and grow within your circumstances, releasing your desire to control. This does not diminish, nor erase the bond/connection.. And twins are due to keep finding their way into each other’s paths, regardless of how many years, have come, and passed…
So what happens when a twin flame dates/falls in love with/marries a soul mate?
Well, soul mate relationships are far less energetically charged, and tumultuous than twin flame relationships, and often we will find that they run far more smoothly. Now this article is not in Anyway anti twin flames, and dating a soul mate also has its pros for those twins who are destined to re-unite, they may provide valuable lessons to learn about love, and about yourself, whilst your twin is not present to allow, and to help you to work through those issues. Let’s just say many soul mate relationships upon the journey are mini role plays of bigger issues that you actually had to work out with your twin, for your growth.
Live in the moment, the here and the now. Do not miss out, for a future that is unpromised.
If a soul mate relationship is successful for a twin flame, their high vibrations will elevate for both, and their partner to heights most profound, though they will be eternally connected to their twin.
They may experience a relationship of the highest bliss, and love, all because of the element of twin flame vibrations that are brought by the one twin.
It is also very likely that any children they bore, will hold the place of the next generation of lightworkers/star seeds. Thus, the element of spiritual love, and it’s manifestations, are never lost.
Blessed be my sacred beings ~
Cindy Anneh-bu © 2015
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