Twin Flame (Divine lovers) Weekly Reading – 10th- 16th;The loyalties & disloyalty of the shadow self, abandonment consciousness, and Masculine rebirth.

twin-flame-weekly-oct

Main theme – Five of swords, What is occurring for both twins – Two of swords, Masculine – Page of swords, Knight of swords, The wheel of fortune, Feminine – The lovers, The fool, Six of pentacles. 

Numerological calculation break down – 10TH – The alpha and the omega. The beginning, and the ending of the all that is. God consciousness – unity consciousness, and the acceptance of masculine-feminine duality, conclusions, and understanding – 16th (7) – Lessons gained through spiritual hardship and karmic cycles.

The 5 of swords this week, is representative of the shadow aspects of the self. This is all about the sneaky behaviours, and selfish interests that we embody throughout our desires to escape our emotional pain, possibly through manipulation of others, victimisation of ourselves, and failure to take responsibility for what we do.

There is a LOT of mental activity occurring this week within both divine lovers minds. There is a lot of back and forth-ing, and beating themselves up over the things that they have been struggling, or previously refusing to accept within themselves. As mentioned in the general weekly reading, this is introducing a process of anti resistance; the five of swords, and the two of swords, is the process before they settle into this anti resistance method, and actually give up all of the mental chatter, and calamity that is happening for/to them.

We find ourselves going very, very deeply within this week – perhaps deeper than we would have liked to, but this is very necessary for tapping into unconscious realms of realisation. It is like a rabbit hole that we must fall into, in order to be reborn, and revived. We have to hit our lowest point, for us to accept some home truths.

The five of swords is confronting the shadow aspect of ourselves that actually enjoys, and even attracts, and welcomes drama, and conflict subconsciously. There is much about the dark side thus far that has been drawing us, and I feel that it is more to do with our separation from self, and our misunderstanding about who we truly are – and what we deserve, and what others deserve from us. This is the type of dysfunction that is often born from growing in a traumatic childhood, or experiencing some type of childhood abuse. There is usually some pushing and pulling, polarity and division consciousness that occurs within us. In reality, the feminine, and the masculine aspects of ourselves, and the higher self, and the shadow self, should be united, respectively, as one.. But certain environments, and upbringings do not allow for the nurturing, or understanding of both.. Growing up in a culture where these two roles were very much separated, and exaggerated will also cause this type of conflict – such as heavily religious backgrounds, that regarded the shadow self in shame, and rejection, or patriarchal structures, that insist on men being hyper masculine, and women being reactive, and entirely submissive.. Hopefully now – we have all learnt, that hyper masculinity is just as toxic to the person embodying the masculine energy, as excessive submission, and powerlessness is to the one embodying feminine energies. The masculine who is hyper masculine is very much disconnected from his feelings, and therefore himself, brutalising him in a sense, whilst the feminine who is hyper feminine, is stuck in victim consciousness, and therefore grows spiteful, often hateful, resentful, and vengeful – psychologically that is. 

You have to be honest with yourself this week about the relationship templates that you create. These things are not just happening to you for no reason. You are not just falling into these situations. You DO play a vital role in this. For the masculine, he may be coming into the realisation that he has been ruled by his own selfish desires, and manipulative tendencies, with the wheel of fortune on his side. This is quite a blow in the face, because he is also realising how he has actually inherited these behaviours, if not directly from his father, then from somewhere in his culture, or genetic line. Perhaps his own mother, or other women who are important to him in his life, have faced the similar fate – of the selfish actions of the masculine template, and he is realising now that he too is embodying this toxicity. His fear of being abandoned – has caused him, to become the one who does the abandoning. 

Let us take a look back – all of the way back, to the masculine archetype. This is a very primal, carnal energy.. Right, the masculine had to hunt for decades, he had to face, and brave many dangerous situations, go to wars, leaving behind his family, and detaching from his emotions in that way. This was the original wound. The separation from source, (God). In order for him to be able to commit these acts, for the most part, he had to suppress, or relinquish altogether the feminine energy that existed within him, otherwise, the pain of these acts, would be too overwhelming. At this time, sexual intercourse, was the only way that the masculine could experience tapping into this feminine/divine energy once more, or feeling close/attached to something. Because his main drive was populating the earth – his desire to do so, coupled with his detachment coping mechanisms, meant that he pretty much became ‘promiscuous’, if you would put it in such terms. 

Now, what has happened is, as we have moved into higher realms of consciousness, been exposed to the new world, and elevate as humans, we are moving away from our primal, and carnal desires, and actually becoming more centered as a civillised, and aware species, which means, we should no longer be ruled by these primitive activation codes. A lot of the masculine templates, particularly those embodying hyper masculine templates, are struggling with this elevation, particularly the re-integration of divine feminine energies – which is granting them empathy, and self awareness. Yes, THIS is what is occurring currently this week! 

The feminine – had no choice, in the olden days, but to stay with the family – unprotected, and bound to her duty as the feminine – which first bred the abandonment consciousness, and the internal resentment towards the masculine; although, these were just the cards that they were both dealt. Now this wound continuously manifested over time, creating further division, and polarity among the masses – and ‘twin flames’, or sacred lovers, as you will, incarnated with the exaggeration of both of these templates, for a reason. Only those carrying the original wound, can transform it. Now, many believe that this wound goes back to the father wound, but it actually goes even deeper – it’s the entire masculine wound; The father, is simply the main embodiment of this, or rather, the materialisation of.

The masculine is desperate for change this week – through his new found understanding, and realisation, documented by the knight of swords. Perhaps things have recently blown up in his face, and he cannot afford to be the same person anymore. The page of swords transitioning into the knight of swords shows his rapid  mental maturity. Some sort of realisation or loss has definitely kicked him into awareness, he is more aware now of what is at stake – and it really is a battle for his soul, because he will NEVER be fulfilled, unless he confronts these issues. 

With the two of swords, there may be a decision that he is making this week, possibly, based on the third party situation that was previously discussed. He will have to let some people down this week, but this means maturity, especially if one of those persons, is him. Breaking away from things & people who serve his selfish desires to feel wanted/needed. 

The knight of swords charging in could represent his fast return/message to the feminine, after he has made up his mind about what he wants. However, with the fool card present on the side of the feminine, it appears as if she too has a decision to make, and very well could be walking away from him. There is a sense here however, that she is not at a loss, because she has taken something from this situation, most likely lessons, and wisdom. She has a sense of direction now, has learned and grown from her mistakes, and is actually, no longer the fool.

The six of pentacles on her side, also calls fairness into question. Is/Was this love fair to her? Is it equal? Or was one person carrying all of the weight? Does she have enough energy/resources to put into this situation? Or is she bleeding herself dry? Perhaps there has been a part of her subconsciously, that has enjoyed victimisation in this way – because it allows her to lash out at the masculine, and demand, over, and over again that he proves his love, and devotion – further exhausting the both of them!

The lovers card also on the feminine side, is her re-assessing her past relationships. Karma rears its head again this week to say, ‘AHA! You see this pattern? This is going to keep appearing unless you do something’. Perhaps the page of swords is revealing to her that she is attracted to this baby boy syndrome, the wounded, narcissist lover who has not quite faced himself, and his issues fully – because she too is unwilling to be fully honest, and truthful with herself about some things – particularly in regards to self worth, and being deserving. It has been easy for her (her shadow self rather), to attract these types of lovers, because then she can just sit back, and fall into her victim-hood, and say, ‘You see – I knew he was a bad guy. I knew he was going to leave me’, instead of taking responsibility for her own shadow. Subconsciously, she knows that if she entered a relationship with somebody who was more balanced, they would soon notice that she was imbalanced, and she would have had to make more of an effort to heal – which her shadow self was previously unprepared to do!

There is a reversal in karmic energy this week, that is so primal, and so many centuries old, that I do not even feel like I can articulate it.. If you are feeling strange this week, it’s okay, things are being rearranged on a cellular level. Times have changed now. Spiritual consciousness has made it so that more and more of the masculine souls are becoming more in touch with their spiritual/emotional self, whilst the feminine souls are no longer bound financially, or for safety purposes, and can now walk away from a situation that depletes their soul…This shadow work, particularly of the masculine, is clearing karmic templates for the feminine, of pain, distress, helplessness, and abandonment. 

I would once again like to affirm, that forgiveness is SO key this week! Please feminine, be the strength that I know you can be..Without forgiveness, the karmic cycle will recycle itself.. And you have great work here to be done to not allow that to occur!

Happy healing my sacred beings ~

© Seek Cindy.

To book your own private reading with me, email me via cindyanneh-bu@hotmail.co.uk stating your request.

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The truth about sex.. Is it good? Is it bad? And can it truly determine our worth? Women and ‘snake’ healing.

  

The original story goes, the more partners that a male has sex with, the more validated he is, socially, physically, and in every other respect amongst his peers.
Whilst, the less partners that a female has sex with, the more validated she is, physically, and socially, usually amongst masculine standards, though we have induced a society where many women slut shame one another.

 However, it is important to note that these stereotypes and labels carry greater weight within the heterosexual community, and the dynamics of sexual intercourse appear to be far more lucid, and free flowing within the LGBT community. (Throughout this article the terms he and she may be used interchangeably to describe those embodying mostly feminine, or masculine components).
Well, why is that you may ask?

And I think we will find the answer if we dig a little bit deeper, in to religion..

Religious doctrine in some nations is just that – doctrine, another way of governing the particular country, that doesn’t hold much truth, or much evidence with many people.

However, there was a time within the western society where religion was not so much a choice, or an alternative way to living, but a commanded, demanded, and required of living.

Under Roman Catholicism, the church, and the state could not be seen as very much autonomous from one another. What the church said, went. It was not a matter of speculation, or freedom of choice, this was provided, and supported as concrete truth, and the guide lines by which people were to narrowly live, for fear of multiple types of back lash, not just in the after life, but also holding very real consequence in this life, including an exile from the community, perhaps we do not have to go so far to learn of people, (women in particular) being stoned, and suffering other types of torture for not adhering to religious doctrine in regards to sex. 

It is fair to say that this treatment of them, and the perceptions held of their sexual freedom, are still very much embedded into the subconscious, of both men, and women.

This belief system regarding women being somehow tainted, or faulted after engaging in sexual acts with somebody, (other than their husband, and under the permission of their father), was ofcourse limited to heterosexual relationships, as these were the only ones recognised at the time as validated by this group of people. Which I find pretty ironic, considering there are multiple stories dating back of homosexual play among the Romans! (But that’s a story for another day)- 

The same rule was not present for men. Who were viewed as having complete sovereignty over their body, themselves, and their actions, not to mention over hierarchal systems, and societal/governmental placements.

It was just as patriarchy had stated in the new world. Men were meant to be in control. And women were meant to be controlled.

You only control what you fear will unleash an uncontrollable force.

Why do we lock people in prison?

Why do we ground our children when we fear that they misbehave?

Why do some partners hide their other half away from the light of waking day, so in fear that they may be taken by another?

Well, when you fear the potential of something, and understand the threat of it, you will do anything, and everything, within your ‘power’, to tame it.

This is exactly how it goes for women, and sexuality. Think about it. In a patriarchal society dominated by men, (quite anti women men), why would they place a set of rules and laws down that would protect women, and save their greatest good?

The perceptions of women surrounding sex, and the desire to minimise them in this sense, is nothing at all to do with protecting the woman, and everything to do with protecting ‘the order’.

In all religious institutions, especially abrahamic religions, all order must, and can only be obtained if the persons involved are somewhat submissive to a certain extent. There is no room for questioning these beliefs, as that would be ‘UnGodly’, and ‘blasphemous’. There is also no chance of rebelling as this would be accused of devil fraternising, and living in sin.

  
I mean, let’s just look at the case of the Salem witch trials. Perhaps this was not about women, and sex, but it was still about women, and power, and the desire to stamp out, ‘burn out’, that power.

Could it be, that those in power knew then, that a woman owning her sexual prowess, and not cowering away in shame, could awaken something not only in her, but in the men she lays with, that no longer allows them to be so subservient, or obedient?

The key word being – awakening.

Everybody knows how liberating sexual intercourse can be. You’re entirely uninhibited, some would say belonging to realms outside of existing time, and space, a place where only you, and your lover exist. An outer body experience in essence, an experience that would allow one to understand that rules, and dogma, have no place within our society, as they have no place within our conscious awareness.

Sex may seem, purely physical, but it is so much more than that! And there is far more than meets the eye, If it were merely physical, the simple act of sex would be just that – sex. It would not involve the interference of merging spiritual auras, chords, and the sometimes resulting creation of a third energy (a child).

If sex was purely physical, then, why on earth is it so internal? So biological? Check out my article here for further insight –  

https://cindyannehbu.wordpress.com/2016/01/05/hook-up-culture-sacred-sensualitysexuality-tantric-sex-and-womb-healing/

Which brings me onto my next point. Sexual energy, is creative energy. And twin flames who have experienced Union in the physical, will agree to this. After the awakening of both bodies, and the birth of a third energy, they will find themselves open to a creative world that did not necessarily exist so freely for them prior. This is their awakening. 

In my opinion, it is within the female that this creative energy is born, nurtured, and manifested, whilst it is within the male, that this energy is sustained, and focused enough for creation (manifestation) to take place. 

Whoever a man chooses to lay with, determines what he is trying to create more of. If indeed, the woman is a bad, sad, or ‘mad’ woman, this is more of this energy that he fuels, and creates, within, and for himself.

She holds the power to magnetise this energy. In the same way that she may magnetise his seed, to create an embryo. 

So, why would any society, or religious institution seek to put tabs, and essentially restrictions over this? Proclaiming her damned for such manifestation.

Well, in a patriarchal society that is run by the belief that men are the most powerful gender, the last thing that you want is a woman going around evoking the essence of God, awakening, and manifesting visions. Not only does she awaken herself, and grant herself spiritual awakening, but she articulates to those around her, that she truly is as powerful, as she thinks. 

This is not to say that anything that a woman manifests and brings to light into this physical reality is positive. And this is where sexual responsibility comes into play. Now, this article is not to say that women should actually be out there fornicating at 100mph, with any, and everybody in attempts to raise their consciousness, or manifest their goals. Whilst people can live how they choose to live, this would also be harmful. This is merely allowing women to finally drop the shame, and the beliefs of ridicule associated with them being sexual beings. This is one of the ways in which the divine feminine has been bruised. Shame is an incredibly dense energy, that keeps one from accessing higher realms of self belief, and self actualisation. To believe that you are not worth such divine light, robs you, of the achievement of such.

Rather, this article hopes to draw attention to the sexual choices that women do make. When engaging in sexual behaviour with somebody who is of lower vibrations, or whilst the female energy experiences low vibrations herself, she will manifest this ten fold! This is why it is so, so vital to be cautious, and careful with those we choose to allow into our sacred space. It is more than fleeting enjoyment. It is responsibility of energies, it is responsibility of access, to a higher plane of existence.

  
Are any of you aware of Meagan Good, and her husbands current book? They speak about waiting until after marriage to have sex, and state that premature sex can sometimes mess with your life, control your focus, and deter your visions. This is very true. Not in all cases, but it is very true for those of us who view sex, is just a passing thrill. We can find ourselves in less than satisfactory situations, and we can also become so motivated by the pursuit of such, that we alienate, and forsake all matters.

Now, I do not believe that sex should only be experienced within the confines of traditional marriage, however, I am an advocate of it being reserved for divine partnership. One may experience divine partnership at different times, with different persons. And it is likely that when we connect with somebody on a deep soul level, the most high pulls as both together to experience something, to learn a lesson, and to grow in multiple ways, which inevitably could be achieved through sacred sexuality.
However, their sentiments are pretty accurate in my eyes. It is also the notion of ‘the sacrifice’, when you give something up to the divine, and show that the love that you are cultivating takes precedence over physical joys, once the two actually do join in sacred sexuality, their manifestation potential will be greater – as seen in their lives, and achievements since.

Can a woman’s worth then, truly be determined by sex?

Well, yes it can. But not in the ways that you may think. It is determined by her, and the decisions that she makes, and the thoughts/beliefs that this conjures within her mind. Low vibrational sexual partners will leave a woman feeling unsure, and uncertain of herself. Ofcourse, women are naturally more emotionally, and therefore spiritually inclined. To separate these aspects from sex, will create a complex, that leaves her wondering if the age old templates of the feminine, and sex may actually ring true. Is it truly shameful? Why is she feeling this way?

Most likely, she is feeling this way because her mind, and her feminine sexuality, are not in sync. In her mind, she may have falsified the belief that having sex with this individual is harmless, and encouraged, but in her sexual presence, she is aware that her potential suitor is not going to provide the tools for positive, and expansive manifestation. If she is not secure in her feminine power, she will go on, and lay with this person regardless. Choosing instead, to ignore her intuition, and deny herself.

  
In sacred sexuality, the woman holds great responsibility to be aware, and cautious of the man whom she lays with. Whatever he provides, will be the basis for what she will store within her for an undisclosed period of time, (unless actively cleared by her), and for what she will from then on experience, and manifest into her life. This is not sexism. We could say that the man also holds this great responsibility, but let us be honest, it is us women who truly decide if sex is going to happen, or not.

This takes us back to feminine power, and standing firm in our power. If a woman has given her sexual power away in the past, then this will feel wrong. It may be associated with feelings of victimisation, intense passiveness, and exploitation. This is a by product of women not knowing, and not owning their positions of power in sexual dynamics. 

This is not to be confused with women who chose to engage in sex with somebody, are fully aware of the implications of their actions, and want to share in their energy. This relates to women who have not been so aware of the chords formed through sex, and have used sex for escapism, or to feel validated by another.

So what role does the man play, and should he too be so cautious?

Without a doubt he should! Unless he is comfortable with running around manifesting God knows what, with who knows what, and then severing those chords abruptly, effectively confusing both his, and her own aura, then ofcourse, he too must be cautious. This third energy needs to be nourished by both parties, If it is to manifest correctly. If it is not, and one, or both parties are unaware of its existence, (as tends to occur in a hook up culture such as our own), we may find that we slowly begin to experience soul loss. 

Feelings of inadequacy, and emptiness. This is similar to somebody who has a child, and then abandons that child. Though they have chosen to turn their back on their child, this child is still very much apart of them, and will reflect them, and reflect their frequency of being abandoned.

This is why you will find many who have turned into sex addicts. No matter how much sex they have, they are still filled with an internal void, and therefore require more, and more, in attempts to quell this insatiable thirst. They are searching for the third energies that they have neglected, and put so much of themselves into. Little do they know, the more they proceed with this frivolous behaviour, the more that they will experience feelings of soul loss, and discontent.

  
In ancient times, people were much more conscious with sex. It would be a time of honour. They would light candles, schedule ceremonies, play music, and turn it into a time of truly conscious activity – acknowledging the sacred energy that they would be unleashing. Sex was used in alchemy, to achieve maximised manifestation ability, and also for healing and restoration purposes. Once again, like all spells, and magic, this is done using intention, belief, and awareness.

Effectively, sexual energy is about nurturing yourself. And believing in yourself enough to choose the best potential partner to host your third (creative manifestation energy). Sex does tend to go hand in hand with self worth, whether people do like to believe this or not. This is the most intimate and private part of yourself that you are sharing with another, and if you believe that you are highly valuable, you will ensure that the person you are intimate with, shares in your high value.

For women who fear that they have given their sexual power away in the past, this is not a determining factor of your worth, or validity as a woman, or potential suitor. This belief, actually prompts many women to gain rebellious attitudes toward sex, and start behaving in careless ways, that many would associate with defamed terms, such as ‘hoe’, and ‘slut’. The idea that she is already tarnished, and damaged may lead her into the belief that she may as well continue to inflict self abuse, and a disregardful attitude toward the sanctity of her frame. This is how, and why many women who are sexually abused go on to take jobs in which their sexuality is at the forefront, and is commodified, for many, or other purposes. 

“The more somebody suffers from low self esteem, the more likely they are to be involved in hyper sexuality + self inflicted sexual abuse.

IMPORTANT NOTICE – more than likely that person that you refer to as a, ‘hoe’, has experienced some type of sexual abuse or sexual malfunction during their childhood. This experience(s), usually occurs before puberty, may spurn off premature puberty, and permanently alters the way in which the individual views intimacy, trust, sexual health, and relationships. If this act was committed by a trusted member of the family, or family dynamic, the individual may grow to have difficulty with establishing sexual boundaries, having been taught by their experiences to believe, that there truly are none.

The sexualisation of a child from such a young age, also stirs impulsive sexual desires, and behaviours in them that they may be desperate to act out, in attempts to seek the same ‘euphoria’ associated with the feeling of sexual arousal. As they are aware by the secrecy of their abuse that the actions that they are involved in are wrong, they may also develop unhealthy attitudes to sexual Behaviours, believing largely, that anything goes.

As low self esteem is a trait also associated with sexual abuse, it is very likely, if not a certainty, that they will go on to have a complex relationship with sex, where their former abuse continues to re-surface, well into adulthood.

You see why, ‘slut shaming’ doesn’t work? No amount of shame can account for that which people already carry..

I encourage any woman struggling with this complex to reach out to me, and also to purchase a womb cleansing kit from my loving sister.. @melinatedbeauty on Twitter aka khemmy flowers.

Once that has been complete, I will also talk, and guide you through the process of conscious cleansing, and shifting your thoughts toward a place of healing, and self forgiveness. 

  

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Why the ‘nice guy’ ‘never’ gets the girl; a sociological and psychological perspective.

[indeed this article is based on generalisation of life situations, and intended hyperbole. There are plenty of cases in which emotionally open men find receptive partners].

  
Before I begin this article, I would just like to take the time to alert you to the existence of contemporary, New York based artist – Kehinde Wiley. He uses his creative outlook to produce counter imagery to the negative and degrading stereotypes that we usually view, and associate with black men. His art features a more colourful approach, to the multi dimensional world that exists within black male culture, in attempts to raise awareness to the emotional, mental, and social diversity of the group. I feel that his work is extremely important at this time, when we are welcoming back the divine feminine and seeing the ways in which patriarchal values have suppressed us all, regardless of our gender association.

One of the problems within the black community, is, and has been hyper – hyper masculinity, an exaggeration of the already chemically imbalanced term. This is for many reasons – hyper masculinity is typically born when the feminine (associated with emotional fluidity, intuition, and creative expression), has been denied. Now, feminine energy exists within us all, (initially), and is healthy for our overall balance and well being – even in men! 

After years of slavery consciousness, and colonisation consciousness, many black men have been taught, (usually by their fathers), that the ideal perception of a man is one who shows as little emotion as possible, instead show casing physical strengths. During times of racial oppression, such as these, the suppression of all emotion, and all sympathy was necessary to continue the work of exploitation.

The denial of emotion that was inherited through trauma consciousness, must cease being passed onto generational lines, and must be seen for the poison that it is.

This has also been a byproduct of inner city crime, or as it is commonly referred, ‘black on black’, the belief that it is the establishment, and assertion of male dominance, and aggression that grants one high status among society.

We need to move toward a space where we can understand the benefits of operating on a more balanced scale, allowing the young men of our society to express themselves in ways other than the methods that are propagated to them. 

Please check out this artist on Twitter as his work is featured throughout this piece – @KehindeWileyart

  
So, why does the ‘nice guy’ never get the girl?

Well, let us first view the interpretation of the ‘nice guy’. Anytime that a girl, or a group of girls are discussing the cliche nice guy, there seems to be a few recognisable traits that spring to mind.

Self uncertainty. A lot of the time you will find that the nice guy, is pretty much unsure of himself. Not only ‘nice’, but he tends to come accross as pretty nervous, and sloppy in his approach. It may appear as if women are more attracted to men who treat them badly, (and this holds truth in some cases – but I will get to that later), rather, it is that women are very attracted to men who know of their worth. 

Whether it is boarderline cockiness, or over exertion, women seem to generally be very attracted to men who dominate their own energy, who are assertive within themselves, and comfortable within their being. 

The problem with the ‘nice guy’, which actually isn’t even a problem at all, is that he is very much aware that he does not fit into the typical template of ‘manliness’. He may have also had experiences throughout his life that reinforce his belief that he is somehow unworthy. It begins as early as infancy, could be as simple as play ground bullying, or words echoed by men around him, he will have a sense of discomfort, and insecurity within his own nature.

Women who do not love themselves, are only interested in men who do not love them.

And vice versa –

Women who are insecure, will seek belief, unconsciously within their insecure thoughts, by attracting, and being attracted to men who will also assert the idea that they are not good enough, and that they are unlovable. Trust me, I speak from experience. This is how the classical empath and sociopath (narcissist), relationships continue to be born.

Unconsciously, we all seek confirmation of our thoughts, and our beliefs, whether they are negative or not – we tend to attract validation of them.

This is why you will find many women making statements such as, ‘all men are the same’. The very belief in such a concept, will cause this to be true for her, and she will collect data from women around her to support this theory.

So what happens when the good guy comes along, when he is promising affection, reciprocation, and genuineness, all at the same time?

Why, she is flabbergasted. Disregardful, uninterested, and usually quite disrespectful. She has already made her mind up about the way in which she believes men to be. Subconsciously, she may also have had a bruised relationship with her father, (perhaps physically, or emotionally distant), and will seek the men who will allow her to continuously play out this experience in her life, as her unresolved wound attempts to make sense, and make peace with it.

Remember, I said that this works both ways.

Let’s focus once again on this quote on quote nice guy.. Usually, quite uncertain in himself also, he unconsciously seeks out women who will, and do shut him down. There are plenty of grown, and nature women who are practically dying for a man who is sensitive, compassionate, and attentive, but for some reason, this nice guy, just keeps going after the very women who shut him down, and shut him out. Thus, he too perpetuates the belief that he is not good enough, that he is unworthy.

  
So what is so attractive about the bad guy persona?

Well, honestly? Not very much at all.. He is usually inconsistent in his affections, disregardful, and disrespectful of the woman that he is with. But for some reason, that just keeps the ladies coming. It is the case of ‘baby boy syndrome’. This type of man gives women who suffer low self esteem a sense of inportance. They happily assume the role of his care giver, feeling that they can change him, and nurture him, and in doing so will finally gain validation and the male acceptance that they are so desperately seeking.

This is a fool’s game. I love you women, so I will tell it to you straight. This type of man will never change under your supervision. Whilst you aid his reluctance to enter mature manhood, he will continuously hold the belief that he can do as he likes, never taking full reaponsibility.

  
This miscommunication toward both sexes, causes the already emotionally fragile, ‘nice guy’ to feel shamed in his fluid emotions, and the expressions of such. He will repeat to himself the words that he learnt along the way, that his version of manhood, is not true manhood. He will believe that women truly only appreciate men who treat them badly, and he is very likely to begin emulating that same type of behaviour – feeling that his honesty, and sensitivities are frowned upon and misinterpreted in this society.

And the worst thing about this is? He probably will find more women this way. But these women too, will be masked behind their own destructive thought patterns, and he will miss out on the ‘good woman’, the nurturing woman, with whom he can fully be himself, and nurture his inner child, instead finding himself in a game of cat, and mouse, never fully allowing himself to surrender to her feminine entirety – in fears of becoming a ‘victim’ again. 

What a vicious cycle that befalls on us. The women who have had their hearts misused by men, in order to protect themselves, will then go on to exploit, and degrade other men, (usually, the ‘nice guy’), who will in turn, become the kind of men who perpetuate this cycle of abuse.

On a side note, I would like to state that generally, the period of liking, ‘bad boys’ does subside as a woman matures, comes into her own being, finds love of self, and begins to appreciate what it truly means to be a man. To be a provider, a protector, and not an extension of her father complex. Many women after a series of bad trials, tend to settle with, ‘the nice guy’, well, at least the ones that are left. By this time, he is usually more self actualised, and has found acceptance within true core, separate from societal perception.

The idea that a man cannot be balanced, sensitive when he is in tune with the feminine, and masculine in the pursuit of his ambitions, is another product of polarity and duality within our world. The idea that you must be one, or the other, when in-fact, different situations call for different approaches.
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© 2016

All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.

Hook up culture, sacred sensuality(sexuality), tantric sex, and womb healing.

 

The ‘marriage culture’ that we have come to know from our parents generation of failed partnerships, & no intimacy, is what was destructive. We know better now. We no longer have to marry out of cultural necessity, we actually get to CHOOSE now. That in itself is beautiful.. 
Hook up culture is the result of a psychologically afflicted generation, too bruised by the degradation of relationship values they’ve seen. We no longer honour the sanctity of union-ship. From music, to television, the marriage template is portrayed as stagnant, and Un-enjoyable. No sanctity of union ship, no desire to build a strong family unit = broken communities, weaker social ties & understanding of relationship (dynamics). We are heading toward a culture of several,’baby mothers’, and ‘baby fathers’, with no family bonds, nor community practice. The fact that people come on Twitter and even make jokes/ memes, out of having, ‘side chicks, and ‘side guys’ is proof of desensitisation. 

The holy trinity, mother + father + [=]child, (masculine and feminine energies combining to the highest essence of creation).. That’s love.

 
If people believed they would genuinely be loved, respected, and received if they entered a partnership, there would be no ‘hook up culture’

Yes, (we) humanity may be collectively moving toward new ideals. But not ALL of these are progressive. Some are still born of trauma.

A generation that largely witnessed the break down of their parents marriages, (their mother’s lack of expression+ their fathers lack of enthusiasm), are inevitably going to view partnership with contempt, and something signifying entrapment, and passive acceptance. 

   
 The only true reason, you’ll want to be having sex with others without building emotional bonds, is because you are fearful of such intimacy. In your humble opinion, it is far easier to, ‘mimic’ this form of closeness, as naturally, all humans require some level of social bonding. Sex, for many, is as close as it gets to love.
If you study sacred sexuality, you would know there can be no separation from intimacy, love and sex.

  
It has only become so, since those in power realised the manifestation power behind such sexual cultivation.. 

Keep people focused on the primal aspects of sex, and they remain trapped in ego consciousness.
You know you can actually cause trauma to a woman’s womb, and psyche, under the guise of a ‘one night stand?’ Men awaken a portal within a woman after sexual intimacy. To then close that portal, or deny responsibility for all that awakens with it, is to prematurely stunt her energy formation. It causes trauma because it reduces her to her sexual organs, in terms of validity. 
Women, and men experience sex a little differently.. Aside from tantric sex, and twin flame sex, that awakens awareness in both partners, generally, the process of sex is more physical for men, (unless they practice sacred sensuality), and the process for women, is largely emotional. During sex, a woman’s heart centre may be activated through stimulation of her breasts, (the heart centre/chakra sits right Inbetween), or through stimuli-station of the womb, which is thought to also ignite feelings of either safety/protection, or fear, and attack. It is not surprise that the womb is associated with feelings of love and comfort – this is the very place that houses in-coming souls.

  [it should also be noted that this symbol is a universal symbol of healing ]

The goal in tantric sex, is to allow both partners to transform their sexual energy, into creative, godly energy, (love). Through the pro-longing of the orgasm, the man trains himself to maintain this momentary glimpse of heaven, by involving not only his lower chakras, but moving from the lower centre, to the higher centres, therefore igniting kundalini awakening. – just think of the snake spiralling up the chakra system, making its way through to the top.

This process begins quite naturally in women after intercourse.. (Well, at least it tries to).
Woman, by nature is accustom to being nurturing and receptive. To making a home out of all she is given. 

You cannot stir this process within her, and then force her to dismantle the alchemical transformation whilst it is in progress..

Biologically, at this point, she is awakening, (the true purpose of sex). Abandoning her afterward is equivalent to awakening a sleeping child,only to offer them a sleeping pill whilst they are finally adjusting to being awakened. The confusion of the natural process is damaging.

When you enter a woman, she has surrendered to you.. In turn, you owe her a duty, of succumbing to whatever arises within her.. Because at that point, it is an accumulation of both of your energies. She is experiencing not only her awakening, but stirring yours.

Her behaviour afterward will shine a light on all that you are. If she begins to act fearful, she is responding to a place of fear within you both. If she grows more loving and playful, she is reflecting this nature within yourself.. Listen and take heed.

Abstinence, and a prolonged period of celibacy is a good cure for women who have, in the past given their sexual power away in anyway. Sexual power can be given (taken)away in a magnitude of ways. People pleasers who use sex as a means to validate their desirability, are but one way sexual power may be given. In this case, the abuse is self inflicted, though very much as potent in its damaging effects. 

In this absence, the woman should spend time honouring her womb, (rituals to celebrate moon cycles, and womb cycles), and learn of its divinity.

The self cleansing mechanisms of the vagina, will take care of the rest. Largely, it is a mental game of re-introducing harmony.

There are also forms of visualisation meditation that can see you through retrieving parts of your soul that were lost..

   
 Poetry by me,

‘We are the generation who forgot how to love’.

“We are the generation who forgot how to love.
So we bury our emotions beneath rocks.
So we build these walls, and we say that they keep out our deepest fears, but really, they just deprive us of the kind of love that our soul wants.
Maybe it was Disney films and it’s false depictions of love, that set our standards far too high, far too unrealistic, and far too unattainable.
Maybe, we were the generation who saw the deterioration of our parents marriages, some born out of cultural necessity, others frivolous victims to the arrival of the 60’s, where love was ‘free’, and begun to shun monogamy. 
Many of us are the parents of immigrants from distant lands, that know no romance. 

We are the generation who grew up in an era of social media, the world available at our finger tips, love filled words exchanged over screens, by ferocious finger tips. How could love ever cease to exist?

It hasn’t,

But nowadays, it is almost a fools wish.”

Cinderella Anneh-bu

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Woman, like myself..

  
I find it funny, (I say funny, but I truly mean appalling), how the female body is only regarded when it is being used, or viewed for sexual pleasures/purposes, and society pretty much over looks it in every other respect. Mention pornography, and you will find a multi billion pound/dollar franchise, that only continues in growth and expansion. However, mention breast feeding, and menstrual cycles, and the many ways in which the female body changes and evolves after child birth, and nobody really wants to know.
So much so, that there is hardly any information readily available or even taught about how women can appropriately cater to their bodies, whilst protecting themselves from energetic and sexual invasion. Penetration is not the only way that a woman’s body may be dishonoured.
Did you know that the Yoni was self cleansing? That the very narrative of a woman’s vagina being ‘loose’ based upon sexual activity is invalid, and in concrete because the vagina is designed to maintain elasticity. 

Did you know that the act of nipple stimulation is not only a sexual act, but releases oxytocin, (a bonding chemical), that releases feelings of love, relaxation, and comfort within the woman?

So, it is more than merely stimulation, but within her you are awakening a deep pool of love, that mimics the intimacy between mother and child..

I pray for the day people stop seeing the female body as merely a sexual function, and appreciates it for the multi dimensional facet it is. Perhaps, this will change the way that we view sexuality also.. 
© 2015
All works published on this site are under strict ownership of the owner, and any re-destribution is strictly prohibited without permission, and necessary credits.
#women

#writer

#health

#spirituality

#humansexuality 

#sacredsexuality 

#art

#divinefeminine